We Review 16-Year-Old Child Bride Courtney Stodden’s Music Video(s)

Upstart popstar Courtney Stodden–recently in the news for marrying a 51-year-old–has a music video. Because we see no reason to dismiss Courtney on account of her age or extremely not-uncomfortable marriage, we’ve put together a humble examination of the clip’s basic themes in the style of comparatively legitimate criticism.

The clip, “Don’t Put It On Me” is a kiss-off to aggressive women whose lovers can’t help but find themselves attracted to the narrator. The video begins with Stodden reclining in a boat. She is relaxed, insouciant; her body language is calculated to demonstrate that she is unmenaced by the putter-on’ers to which the title refers. She sits beside her dog, which represents loyalty (it’s a double metaphor because the dog’s hair has been cruely dyed, thus demonstrating the depths of that loyalty). Though she is defiant throughout (“I will not be responsible / For your lov / er’s a / ttrac / tion”), the boat’s stillness subtly indicates Courtney’s frustration at her own inability to extricate herself from this morass of envy. Stodden also totes a cocktail, a marker of her maturity despite her young age. Further, the message of the song is ultimately one of betterment, of overcoming feebleness and cultivating meaningful bonds between women: “Now turn around and be the best you can be / You’ll be amazed how it’ll set you free / From your wicked jealousy,” she sings. It’s complex.

Note that this is only a clip and the whole song can be appreciated here. Unfortunately, watching just over a minute of “Don’t Put It On Me” is like chancing upon a single page torn from Moby Dick, which is to say in the full version, lyrics like “It’s not my fault you don’t chew sugarless gum” will wash over you.

Also, please appreciate “We Are America,” in which she coos and moans melismatically like she’s trying to seduce the song’s subjects (America’s fallen troops).

“Soldier boys and soldier girls / You were not alone when you left this world / You did not die in vain”

(via Buzzfeed)

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    • Jamie Peck

      It is so much worse than I thought it would be. HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?

      • Ashley Cardiff


    • Jessica Pauline Ogilvie

      My favorite part is where she gets cold halfway through the first video and puts on a windbreaker.

      • Lisa

        That, and the pond she’s in is really elegant.

    • Alanna

      I can’t find any real words to give the reaction these videos so desperately deserve, so instead… She’s sixteen?? She looks at least ten years older that!!

    • Jen

      I’m afraid to look.

    • Laura

      She’s kind of like Ke$ha. Only worse.

    • Rose

      Such obvious autotune…

    • Sunshine

      This girl is a joke, right? Please tell me this isn’t real.

      • bailey…

        that’s what i’m thinking…….

    • Elizabeth

      Get over yourselves. She’s like, reaching out to you and stuff. It’s not her fault that the boys are attracted to her. She totally wants to be your BFF.

    • jojo

      Im still in awe about this 16 year olds marriage to a 51 yr old has been and to top it off, her FATHER is behind her on this ( I BET) and says she’s far more mature than her 16 yr old self…EXCUSE ME?? Far more mature? Cake on the makeup heavily , show off her assests and BAM! You’ve got a 16 yr old exposed to look and act like a 25 or older adult… and that shes NOT. Here’s the kicker…SHE CANT SING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Her voice sounds so dubbed over , and where in the hell is the MOTHER!!!!!!!! If that young lad was my daughter , and my husband did this to her? I would KICK & STICK MY FOOT UP HIS & HER ASSES!! Just imagine what the damage is going to be after she turns 18……. she will look OLD.
      I hope the States she has residence in moves quick to press charges on the PARENTS & that 51 yr old geezer……It’s simply called RAPE. Oh, I am a WASHINGTONIAN…….. and I cant believe we have IDIOTS AND WANNA BEES in my hometown…….. Shocker , right? UGH!

    • Jordan

      This video & person exemplifies EVERYTHING that’s wrong in our culture!!! Pathetic & makes me feel sad!

    • Odbery

      It’s legal for a 16-year-old to get a boobjob?

      • Benita

        It’s legal but I’m not sure it’s ethical. Many surgeons won’t do implants until a woman is 21 because the breasts continue to grow on some women even up to the age of 25.

    • Taylor

      dude what is happening with that bathing suit, or dress, or necklace? what garment is it? how do you put that on? it looks so complicated with all its straps and layers and what not. she thrusts so many times at the camera with her mouth open and hands all stroking thing, its down right pornographic. i feel violated.

    • KCNC

      Wow, a lot of people have failed this poor kid. She looks to be on a fast track but to nowhere good.

    • Sara

      There is no way she is 16. No way.

    • Lisa
    • Micah

      this is utterly painful… no wonder she married a rich 51 year old… it was the only way she’d ever make money without jumping on a pole.

    • Meghan

      How can I unsee this??

    • Denise

      This is beyond awful. Words simply fail me. I feel bad that this 16 year old is being exploited like this. We have laws in this country protecting children from sexual exploitation like this. Why is this allowed to happen????

      The bad boob job, the bleached hair, the stripper shoes, the sexy clothes , the thrusting out of the fake boobs…it all screams “sexual abuse”. Why are her teenage years being stolen from her like this, and whoever paid for this girl to get implants should have fixed her teeth instead…they look like fangs.

      Why have ALL the adults in this girls life, (her parents, the school system, hell, ANYBODY in authority) all failed her? Why in the HELL was she allowed to marry a 51 year old man? Why was she allowed to drop out of school? Why was she allowed to get breast implants? This 51 year old actor is a child predator and teenagers have the right to be protected from people such as him. Teachers have gone to jail for bedding their 16 year old students and I don’t care how many lies these two people tell but this hypersexualized girl was in NO WAY a “virgin” when they married. That is a story they tell to keep him out of jail.

      He is a pig. Her parents are lazy POS…they are NOT parents. They should have protected her from internet predators like this creep actor. This girl looks and acts like a 30 year old stripper who has seen and done things no human should have to endure.

      This girl needs to get some professional help and this creep actor needs to go to jail. Teenagers have a right to be protected from 51 year old’s who want to exploit their young flesh and their unworldleness in this manner. I really cannot blame the girl for this. She is only 16 and 16 year olds simply do NOT have the life experience to know when a predator is exploiting them, especially is they have shiat for brains for “parents”.

      This girl must have REALLY had it horrible at home to make her think that living with a geezer 51 year marginal actor is the better alternative. Her parents need to be investigated. I am POSITIVE her father, her brothers, a neighbor (SOMEBODY) sexually molested this girl.

      • N

        “I am POSITIVE her father, her brothers, a neighbor (SOMEBODY) sexually molested this girl.”

        I don’t know whether you can really make statements like that… I don’t like anything she does or wears, and her expressions are absolutely disgusting. And I think some May-December romances can work out well, been in a few myself, but not with this couple and the way they behave.

        I don’t appreciate that her parents are letting her be like this either. But I think being so certain that someone had to be sexually abused in order to act like that, might be going too far.

    • Lisa

      What the hell is wrong with some commenters over here? Whats YOUR problem if she’s married to 51 year old and that whatever happened in her childhood!?? Its NONE of ur buisness. What your problem with her boob job? She can doo whatever to her and whenever she wants. WHO are you? She is happy with her life this way! Why do u care? If she wants help..she will voice it herself. And i dont find any problem her dating any human being of any age or race….it shouldnt be a problem as long as she is fine with it! WHO ARE YOU TO CRITICIZE HER?

      • Horil Imsirofbitch

        why don’t you fuck yourself with a pineapple

    • Noelle

      This is the worst thing I have ever seen. I threw up in my mouth a little.