• Thu, Jun 23 2011

A Modern Gal’s Musings on Marriage

Tuesday 21 June 2011 is the 3rd wedding anniversary for my husband and I. According to recent reports on marriage, there’s now the 3-year-glitch, instead of the 7-year-itch. So while the two of us bravely march into these newly declared dangerous waters, I hope to keep the readers of TheGloss informed on the truths of marriage according to a 25-year-old girl from Texas.

It starts with Love with a capital L. The love about which they say “oh, you’ll know when you know.” They’re right. For Andrew and I it took only 6 months of dating in college for us to realize that we were in Love.

At the time I had a decision to make about our relationship. I was due to go study abroad in Oxford, England for the spring semester. Were we going to stay together or break up? Being the decisive person that I am, I told Andrew early on in our relationship (at the beginning of summer break) that I don’t do the whole “on and off again” thing. If I’m in something, I’m in. If I’m out, I’m out. So we both knew that our relationship depended on Oxford.

For his 20th birthday that Fall, I got him tickets to see the Foo Fighters (his favorite band), in Dallas. That night at the concert, I saw the goofiest look on his face as he rocked-out with Dave Grohl. He was the happiest I’d ever seen him. And I knew that I loved him when I realized I wanted to make him look that goofy-happy forever. That night I told him we were going to stay together through Oxford. We hadn’t said, “I love you,” to each other yet, but a week later we had confessed to each other that we were in Love with a capital L.

I love my husband. I am totally and completely, butt-crazy in love with Andrew. But that is not why I married him – though it certainly helps.

Before I give my reasons for marriage, it must be clear that I have always believed that life has a purpose. All of us estimated 7 billion people on planet Earth are here living life for a reason. And as marriage is apart of life, I knew that my marriage had a role to play in mine.

The best reason we got married is because only together can we help each other bring out the best versions of ourselves. I’m the best version of me when I’m with him (most days). He is the best version of himself when he’s with me (most days). Together we are stronger than we are apart. And together, we have the ability to be an even greater force for good in this world than by ourselves.

We also wanted to have sex. We were both raised in conservative Christian homes – marriage was the best first step.

There are tons of reasons to get married: constant companionship with your best friend, better tax breaks, SEX, you get lots of presents during the engagement, sparkling rings, someone to kill spiders (yes he kills spiders for me – but that’s usually because I don’t wear shoes when I’m home), some one to put as your “in case of emergency” contact, more occasions to get gifts (Valentine’s and anniversary), and some one there to help you with a zipper that is stuck. If you’re lucky that list will include: a partner who complements you, an extended family you love and enjoy, an ally, affection, a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear, and all the opportunities in a lifetime to reciprocate.

For Andrew and I, it all comes down to helping each other grow into the best people we can possibly be in order to live up to the reason we are here.

We knew getting into it, that we’d never be able to anticipate everything that would happen to us, everything we’d have to do and endure. I’d knew that we’d drive each other nuts with our respective idiosyncrasies and that we’d sometimes fight and hurt each other on the rarest of occasions. I knew that it would be a constant life-changing element in my life, that I would never be the same. And I could bear all that knowing that Andrew would never let me settle for merely being what I was – that with his love and help, I could be so much more.

My daily prayer and goal is that I will be able do the same for him.

It is for this reason that marriage is worth it.

Read more of Cassie’s adventures at her blog: Classie Cassie.

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  • Taylor

    I thought I was the only person from ACU who read The Gloss. I just about flipped out sitting in the Hunter Welcome Center when I creeped on your blog and figured out you went here. What a fantastic article–I’m studying abroad in Oxford with my boyfriend/future fiance next semester, which is sure to present its own set of challenges.

    Oh…and I’m an Ad/PR major as well.

    In conclusion, please keep writing for The Gloss. Please.

  • Valerie

    I’m too lazy to look up author and editor contact information, but please read this:

    http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/between-you-and-me.aspx

  • Lauren

    How very refreshing. I’m sick of all the marriage bashing going on around the internet. I would love to be married someday (perhaps to my current wonderful boyfriend) because of the reasons you listed, and many more.

    Perhaps people think marriage is so “outdated” because it has lost its sacred value in the eyes of many. Why get married when a large percentage of the population is willing to sleep with you/move in with you? I find it all very sad, and I hope that by the continued witness of happy, good marriages, the world will realize what they’re missing out on. Thanks for writing!