What Your Favorite May-December Romance Says About You

It says that you are a liar. You are lying right now. This is not your favorite. This is no one's favorite. Oh, wait, it is? Really? Okay, it says that you like things that seem big and shiny, like Disneyland or Las Vegas or cakes covered with those little silver balls with very little actual cake underneath the frosting. Big and shiny and somehow terribly, terribly empty. That's not a bad thing! We're all like that, sometimes.

Oh, you want to bang Jack Donaghy? Well, us too, buddy, us too. Loving this pair says that you grew up in a conservative household but became and East Coast liberal. You identify strongly with Liz Lemon, and are falsely reading good things into Hilaria's personality because you've now decided she must be "a Liz Lemon type" since she is out with Alex Baldwin/Jack Donaghy. Most likely she is not, she is stunning, but maybe she has night cheese, somewhere. Alternatively, it says that 'The Hunt For Red October' was a good movie, too.

You know what you like? Decadence. Just weird, offbeat decadence. If you had to do a drug it would almost certainly be cocaine. You believe Jay McInerney is, like, A REALLY GOOD WRITER. There is no shame in this. We all believe this, especially those of us who have dabbled into a store of Bolivian marching poweder. You have seen American Psycho more than two times. You own a bandage dress. This personality assessment is going to a weird place. But seriously, you're like MY BEST FRIEND, meet me in the bathroom for yeyo.

You're really, really in favor of gay marriage. You want to be progressive. But you still don't know if you're holding your gay friends to the same standards you would your straight friends. Like, if this were a man and a woman, it might seem odd, but since they're a gay fashion design couple... well, everything they do is glamorous, right? Are you allowed to think of it as glamorous? Is that somehow homophobic? How did the world become so rapidly confusing!?

You just love royal weddings, don't you? Aren't you excited for the royal wedding in Monaco? Don't you love Grace Kelly? Don't you wish life could be a little bit more like that, just langurous and glamorous and lace laden and just... easy. Easy like Sunday morning. Take heart! Being a Princess would not actually be that fun!

Oh, I forgot about them! Okay, you love people who get... diseases a lot. No. Fine. You love adventure. Action. The thrill of the chase - as seen in both Zorro and Wall Street and all those other movies they were ever in. Wait, let me rephrase: you love action, and adventure, and the thrill of the chase, but well dressed and smartly styled action. That fair? You don't want to go mountainbiking down to... Mudville (think of someplace dirty and unpleasant and try not to be an asshole about it, okay?) but you would like to go on a safari in the 1920's.

Okay, you are the coolest, you picked the coolest one, you win. It does not matter that she was 19 and he was 45. She was LAUREN BACALL. He was HUMPREY BOGART. You wish that we could be more like them, swilling scotch and lighting cigarettes and being a little bit dangerous.

Tricked you! They don't meet my definition of May-December. They're more like "May-Prettiest-Part-Of-Autumn." But if you love this couple it means that you believe in female empowerment and that women can still be beautiful as they grow older and that it can be fun to have power over men, and lots of other nice things. I think Demi Moore is a vampire, probably.

You want to believe that dreams really can come true just so people can be happy. You're incredibly understanding of the fact that different things might make different people happy. You'd bake a tree out of cupcakes if you could (Holly did this, once, accordingto show watching sources. You get where she was coming from).