• Tue, Jun 28 2011

Drunk Woman Shoots Booze-Laden Breast Milk At Cops, Isn’t Sorry

Remember how I told you not to fuck with crazy people? Well, that includes severely drunk people who may or may not be crazy all the time. They’re unpredictable, they’re illogical, and they might just spray you with their boob milk. This actually happened.

An Ohio woman named Stephanie Robinette was arrested over the weekend after getting into a fight with her husband while attending a wedding. Apparently it was a bad fight, because she locked herself in her car, and when the cops attempted to remove her, she “advised the deputies that she was a breast feeding mother,” i.e. armed and dangerous. When this failed to deter them, she “proceeded to remove her right breast from her dress and began spraying deputies and the vehicle with her breast milk,” simultaneously grossing them out and threatening them with possible diseases from her boozy bodily fluids. (Gin kills viruses, right?) I do not envy the officer who had to keep a straight face while delivering that report.

Robinette was ultimately charged with “domestic violence, assault, obstructing official business, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct,” none of which seemed to faze her much at the time. If hers is not a mugshot that says, “I just sprayed a cop with boob milk and I’m not sorry…and come to think of it, I would do it again,” I don’t know what is.

For his part, local Sheriff Walter Davis took it as an opportunity to remind people of the dangers of the drink. “This is a prime example of how alcohol can make individuals do things they would not normally do,” he said. Indeed.

(Via The New York Daily News)

 

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  • Eileen

    This is the greatest thing I’ve read all day. Not that your breasts aren’t great, Jamie. But this breast actually did something!

  • Jinx

    Sorry to be that girl, but it should be “none of which seemed to *faze* her”, not phase. Faze: to bother, annoy. Phase: a period of time. Great story though! I never thought breast milk could be used as a weapon.

  • siglet

    Wait, isn’t breastmilk non-germy? Like, can’t you use it to clean a wound? I mean not YOU you, but the kind of people who like to put breastmilk on their injuries. I have no idea if this is really true and I’m not even going to bother to check, but I think there are antibodies in the boobmilk. So this woman was doing the cops a favor, like spraying them with hand sanitizer.

    • Eileen

      I’m pretty sure there are antibodies in breast milk if the woman has them in her body, but if the woman is HIV+, for example, then the virus is in her breast milk. Assuming the cops have already had their measles vaccines, the dangers are probably bigger.

  • Milf

    Lol…what a whimp that cop is!! Dr.Evil could use her a a femme bot!

  • Anna

    Nobody does this while high on weed. Just sayin.