Future Mother-In-Law Rips Bride A New One For ‘Brash, Celebrity Style Behavior’

Every now and then, we all wonder about whether we’ve behaved appropriately in a given social situation. Did we say something rude? Was seven bacon-wrapped shrimp more than our fair share?

But it’s hard to imagine most women acting in a way that would necessitate an email like the one that was sent to 29-year-old Heidi Withers from her future husband’s stepmother. In it, Carolyn Bourne, 60, details the ways in which Withers offended her fragile sensibilities on a recent family trip.

The email wound up on the internet after Withers forwarded it to some friends, who forwarded it to their friends, and so on, until it made it into the Telegraph and Daily Mail.

Here are some examples of what Bourne calls Withers’ “lack of manners”:

“When you are a guest in another’s house, you do not declare what you will and will not eat – unless you are positively allergic to something.

”You do not remark that you do not have enough food. You do not start before everyone else.

”You do not take additional helpings without being invited to by your host.

“When a guest in another’s house, you do not lie in bed until late morning in households that rise early. You fall in line with house norms.

You should never ever insult the family you are about to join at any time and most definitely not in public. I gather you passed this off as a joke but the reaction in the pub was one of shock, not laughter.

“You regularly draw attention to yourself. Perhaps you should ask yourself why. No one gets married in a castle unless they own it. It is brash, celebrity style behaviour.

“If your parents are unable to contribute very much towards the cost of your wedding, it would be most ladylike and gracious to lower your sights and have a modest wedding as befits both your incomes.

“One could be accused of thinking that Heidi Withers must be patting herself on the back for having caught a most eligible young man. I pity Freddie.”

So, wow. Someone’s wedding just got a little more complicated.

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    • Eileen

      What a bitch of a mother-in-law. But here, I’ll play.

      “When the adult son you love is engaged to be married, you do not take out a public advertisement trashing his fiancee.”

    • sgimg

      What the fuckkkkkkkk

      Most of these things seem so archaic. I would want my guest to feel at home.

    • Soos

      I don’t disagree with anything she listed.

      Heidi sounds socially inept at best, or like the worst houseguest ever.

      I pity Freddie, too. And with friends like that forwarding your personal emails, you don’t need enemies.

    • Cassie

      i think the blame here is probably shared… i think Soos is right in that some of these are pretty impolite, but i also agree with sgimg that some of them are ridiculously archaic.
      i bet what happened is the mother-in-law already thought the fiancee was rude, then when the fiancee came to visit the m.i.l. was primed to pick up on every slight misstep.

    • sheherbano

      ummmmmmmmmmmmm maybe it’s the way i was raised but every one of these rules are basically a given, in my mind, and i’d feel really bad and awkward if i broke any of them even unintentionally. heidi withers seems like she’s probably just a little trying. especially since she forwarded this to her friends likely to show them “LOL look how ridiculous and unfair my almost-MIL is can you believe this shit” rather than, like, realising that it’s actually kind of unreasonable to expect the family you’re marrying into to foot the bill of a wedding in a castle.

    • Karen

      Yeah. I, too, think that Heidi is probably an ass, and the MIL just couldn’t restrain herself from letting Heidi know it. Which, in turn, kinda makes MIL an ass, too. Ah well.