Real Talk: Movies/Books We Pretend To Have Seen/Read

It’s a little known fact that Proust’s works are blank for the middle 400 pages. No one mentions this because no one has ever read all of Proust. Which movies/books do you pretend to have seen/read? Let’s discuss the way we tell lies.

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    • Mary

      This is awesome. I don’t feel quite so alone.

    • Eileen

      I talk about Moby Dick and Lolita as if I’ve finished them, but I’ve only gotten about two-thirds into each. I’ve also probably pretended to read a book or two that was a gift, but only to the relative who gave it to me. I’ve never pretended to have seen a movie, though.

      Personally I’m proud not to have read any of the Twilight books. My sixteen-year-old sister has a photographic memory and can recall all the plot points while trashing them from a literary and feminist perspective. That’s all I need ;)

      • Lexie

        Your Moby Dick is my Anna Karenina. I feel that of the 800 pages I have read, I know enough to vaguely reference it in conversation.

    • MNiM

      Felicity — LOTR is awesome if you’re not afraid of skimming the bits that don’t grab you. It’s also okay to skip the Tom Bombadil chapters in their entirety.

    • Taylor

      I’m always surprised when someone tells me they haven’t seen Casablanca. It is a classic for a damn good reason and it on my top ten list. I think everyone should watch it.

      • Maria VS

        Come on, that movie is hugely overrated! Making some kind of existencial hero out of H.B. just because he couldn’t bring himself to “steal” (because, you know, propety) I.B. from her resistant husband is just absurd. As if being a romantic coward could excuse you from political duties!

    • Magda

      I’ve never lied about a movie that I didnt watch, But my friend and I mutually agreed to never admit to having seen that AWFUL Cameron Diaz movie, The Box.

      And I lied, or rather lied by omission, to my Shakespear prof about having read Jane Eyre. I only read the first six chapters and the last chapeter. But I still managed to have a fairly intelligent conversation about it. She thought I read it, and my brit lit prof gave me an A on the term paper I wrote on it… Does that count?

    • Hanna

      This is why I hate when people say “oh but you MUST read / watch it”. So I watched Casablanca and I thought it was a nice movie. A bit overrated perhaps. And I watched “The Sweetest Thing” (about as low as a romcom can go without becoming American Pie) and I love that movie. I almost pee my pants laughing everytime I see it. And yes, I’ve seen it several times.
      Just watch and read what you want to. If a book bores you, stop reading it, even if it’s really really artsyfartsy pretentious.
      I think I pretended to have read a certain book once in my life in the last year of school. I previously had read EVERY SINGLE ONE of the books we were supposed to read and I thought. Okay. No more. I think this book is crap and I don’t want to read it. So I didn’t. I never told my teacher. I felt very guilty. But I never read it. Hah!

      • Jowee

        I LOVE The Sweetest Thing!

    • Gracie

      who the hell would admit to reading twilight let alone pretending that they have???

    • porkchop

      I watched “The Thin Red Line” in theaters, but all I remember is waving grasses and wishing I was dead, which I think is what Terrence Malick was going for.

    • Ona

      RE: Felicity and LotR and certain other classic texts, it would work to say you’re “re-reading” them and got so wrapped up in the story this time around that you got emotional. Or, you were struck by Sam’s commitment to Frodo “on this reading, and it didn’t hit you like this when you read it before.” And you didn’t pick up on how much the film re-cast gender dynamics but are really aware of it while “reading it again” after the movies.