• Thu, Jul 7 2011

Real Talk: Awesome/Terrible Things We’ve Bought While Drunk

On Tuesday, Gawker filed a piece about the plague of drunk puppy buying in Manhattan pet stores. Apparently, wasted Manhattanites can’t help themselves after spotting little yappy dogs in shiny windows and drunkenly drop thousands to bring them home. So, we wanted to know: what’s the most ridiculous/great/stupid/awesome thing you’ve ever purchased while drunk?

Seriously. Please tell us.

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  • Jamie Peck

    One of the first times I got drunk was at a Thai restaurant in London when I was 15. I went into the Claire’s on Picadilly Circus and bought a sparkly purple boa and some sparkly star-shaped antennae that I wore on my head. For years afterwards, that was what I wore when I was serious about party time. I JUST LAST WEEK got rid of them while moving. I wear a sailor hat while partying now, because I am the captain of the friend ship, or something.

    • Venus in Furs

      I wear a pirate hat when I party. That way, no one is surprised when things get out of hand. Hello. Pirate.

  • Teeny

    Well besides a boatload of shots, my usual drunken purchases are feel awful the next day fast food. Like the huge burritos at Taco Bell that you wouldn’t ever get sober, or a Big Mac. I never crave a Big Mac unless I am drunk, then it sounds like the best idea in the world.

  • Debbie

    I bought 2 cds (90′s hip-hop and some bonus disc for an extra 15 bucks and shipping). I think the total cost of that late night purchase was about 45 dollars, put on a new credit card I signed up for in the campus quad (everyone wants a free t-shirt for signing up!). And the cds were edited for containing explicit language (total bummer!). I don’t even know if I still have them, but just thinking about it makes me want to look through boxes. It annoys me I spent so much on two crappy cds.

    My one and only (expensive!) purchase during late night tv watching while boozed up.

  • waldo

    No offense, but Wawa isn’t a “gas station convenience store.” They’ve only (relatively) recently started adding gas stations. It was a place to get food loooooooong before it was a place to get gas. And they’re not exclusive to south Jersey.

  • epilonious

    This article was delightful. Alas, I suffer from a mania that means I don’t have to be drunk to make ridiculous purchases.

    Fact is I’ve never been drunk. I figure if I ever do get drunk and in a shopping mood I worry that I’d buy a car and then drive it into another car.

  • Steph

    Thankfully I’m usually with my fiance when drunk, so he keeps me from making stupid purchases (he does so when I’m sober too). Basically, the only thing I buy when drunk is more alcohol, which is usually a stupid decision, because it always ends with me throwing up.

  • Baker Girl

    I dont tend to buy things when I’m drunk but this made me think of my boyfriend. The frist night he told me he loved me we were at a crazy party and he got drunk I was a good a DD, anyway I was driving home and he wanted candy. He pulled a “I love you. Please stop at a WaWa so I can buy candy baby” and I feel for it. He got like $20 bucks worth of candy. He ate NONE of it. Men

  • Kaylaandrena

    One time I was home after a night out and decided to watch TV when one of those horrible CD infomercials came on. They were selling CD sets with “The Complete Hits from the 80′s & 90′s” or some other random compilation that they are always selling. I decided in that moment that I needed to buy a set for myself, my mom & my sister. But what they don’t tell you on the TV is that these CD’s are $19.99 for the whole set, but $19.99 EACH. It was a 10 disk set.

  • August S.

    One drunken night I discovered that I know my credit card and address by heart. I found out this useful fact when over 2k’s worth of lingerie arrived on my doorstep the following Monday. I eventually managed to put together a time-line from my partial memories and my friend’s recollections:

    9pm: Quickly start pre-gaming, because we are going to head-out promptly at 9:30.
    11pm: Finally leave apartment; am already very drunk.
    12:30: Get into a conversation about Bridget Bardot’s hair (this is the last thing I can remember)
    1:30-2: No one knows where I am; my purse and cellphone are found shoved UNDER a potted plant (not behind, but actually under the container.)
    2ish: Reappear at the bar and claim to have been there the whole time.
    2:30: Go into a fugue state and allow myself to be lead around like a lobotomized cow
    3:30am: Snap out of it, berate my friends for taking me to a Dennys, repeat “it’s the worst, it’s all the worst’ several times, pass out. In a booth. In f*cking Dennys.
    7am: Wake up (at my friend’s house, not at Dennys), chug a million gallons of water, question my life choices then fall asleep again.

    As far as I can tell, somewhere between 1:30 and 2am, I found computer, logged onto net-a-porter and bought myself 3 corsets, a garter belt (but no garters), 2 robes, 3 bra and underwear sets, and assorted chemises. The worst part about it was that drunken-me has the same great taste as sober-me, so it broke my heart to return everything.
    And no, I have no idea where I found a computer at 2am in South Boston.

    • Baker Girl

      That is AMAZING!!!!! Your my drunk hero …

  • Megan

    I don’t have any drunk buying stories, because when I am drunk I am too fucked up to do anything but curl up and cry to whoever is listening about how I wish I knew Jesus better.

    Also, when I read “All the soup,” all I could think of was Allie Brosh’s blog post about why she’ll never be an adult. “Clean ALL the things!”

    (http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/06/this-is-why-ill-never-be-adult.html), for awesome reference.

    • Teri J.

      I actually used “Clean all the things,” as my status update today! That is by far one of my favorite posts from her.

  • Teri J.

    I buy candy and fast food because I would never eat the stuff sober. I buy tons of crap to eat and then I feel horrible about it in the morning.

  • Jinx

    Every time I got drunk at college, I got one of these:
    http://fattyfriday.com/rutgers-grease-trucks-home-of-the-fat-sandwiches

  • Carolyn

    What about just spending all your money on drinks(for you and other people)? The cliche drunk waste of money is still a waste of money

    • Carolyn

      and not expensive, but I always buy McDonalds snackwraps when I’ drunk… every single time.

  • lozziefozzie

    While drunk I should never be allowed internet access. It has resulted in:

    A magenta and turquoise mountain bike
    Weekend theatre break in London (to see Wicked)
    CD of French rap
    and
    Archery equipment.

    I made a vague attempt to become a healthy bike-riding person for a few weeks before abandoning the bike in my parent’s garage. The theatre was actually pretty good. The French rap is a bit pretentious but entertaining. The archery equipment I did learn how to use because I clearly needed a hobby.

    Overall I think when drunk I take what to my sober mind is a fleeting thought and decide to act on it RIGHT NOW.

    • lozziefozzie

      Oh, and a violin.

      I have no musical talent whatsoever.

    • Ashley Cardiff

      I want to give you a prize for this.

  • MM

    I spent $150 on used books on eBay. It may not sound like a lot but I’m 21 and that’s half my monthly rent. But damn, that 1837 edition of the Iliad was WORTH IT!

    • Ashley Cardiff

      Please get drunk and buy me books.

  • B

    1) Orange circus peanuts? Oh no! They are so gross, I almost want to throw up just thinking about them.

    2) $2000 on a cab ride to Atlantic City? Where were you traveling from? One time I missed a connecting flight and had to take a cab from Providence, RI to Boston, and that was “only” $90.