What Your Favorite Dessert Says About You

So I was sitting at my desk, gleefully tonguing this cake-pop, because now that we don’t have sex anymore, that’s what we have to get excited about as a generation. Cake-pops. And Ashley said something about anything being superior, even cupcakes, and I said she was a dumb whore, and I realized this really illustrated the difference between us as people. Here is what your favorite desserts indicate about you as a human being.

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    • Eileen

      Brownie a la mode. Always, because it’s on almost everyone’s menu (sometimes I have to substitute chocolate pie or cake or ask for the ice cream specifically, but still)! And yet I am excluded again.

    • Lauren

      I am a dumb whore. You guys never fail!

      • Ashley Cardiff


      • Penelope

        I love cupcakes. I prefer to think of myself as ‘retro’.

      • Lauren

        I will not evolve! I like my beard!

        I had 2 cupcakes for lunch today and they were delicious! And yes, cupcakes for lunch is totally acceptable.

    • eelizg23

      This probably makes me really trashy, but my favorite dessert is a popsicle. Mainly locopops (a local chain of gourmet paletas) or the fruity ones with chunks of strawberries or whatever in them–aka fancy popsicles.

    • B

      I had a feeling that cheesecake would be mentioned with a Golden Girls reference. That’s my favorite.

      I like your sense of humor, Jennifer!

    • Hanna

      What about “anything rich, moist and intensely chocolatey, possibly with whipped cream / ice cream”? I’d say that makes me very sexy. Because I sometimes start moaning when a brownie is really, really good.

    • Sara F

      Truffle pops, the crumb-free alternative to cake pops. Evolved.

    • Adina

      you guys have yet to correct “hayley” duff to “haylie” in the prada candy article and i am just reminding you

      • Ashley Cardiff

        who is hayley duff?

      • Adina

        Well it’s actually Haylie and not Hayley sorry I was upset by the mistake, she is a well known and respected actress who was in 7th heaven, Napoleon Dynamite, and some stage shows and I would just appreciate if you did her right and spelled her name right because in the story about Prada Candy you did not thank you.

    • Megan

      Wow. I, uh, chocolate eels. Well then. Fuck normal people eating normal dessert.

    • miinxi

      WTF is a chocolate eel? is it an actual eel being dipped in chocolate? or just chocolate shaped that way?

    • MM

      ” Alternatively, you just love blowtorching the shit out of things.”

      You’ve got me there. Back when my brother and I were teenagers, my mom bought a creme brulee torch…when my parents were out of town we used it to make toast one morning.

    • Cassieleigh

      I can’t believe tiramisu is not on this list! It’s my all-time fave. What does that make me I wonder? I’ll bet it makes me an Italian wannabe.

    • Carley

      My favorite dessert is Strawberry Ice Cream : ) Been the same since I was a little girl!

    • Ashley