• Fri, Jul 22 2011

Lady Gaga Thinks You Should Wait To Have Sex

Earlier this week, Lady Gaga told Howard Stern that women don’t enjoy sex until their mid-twenties, so they should think about holding off on doing it: “I’ve got a lot of young fans,” she said. “Honestly, you should wait as long as you can to have sex. As a woman you don’t even begin to enjoy it until your mid-20s.”

So. A surprising message from a surprising messenger, oui? And while well-intentioned, it is unfortunately a bit misguided.

It may very well be true — and perhaps we can safely infer — that Lady Gaga, who is 25, is just beginning to enjoy sex. And that’s a wonderful realization for her to have. Brava. But for her to say that’s the case for all women is a gross generalization — she has no idea whether it’s true for anyone besides herself. Gaga’s fallen into a trap that has ensnared many a well-meaning public figure before her: talking about sex as if the same rules apply to everyone. There is no right age, no right way to do it, no wrong way to do it; there’s just what works for you.

In addition to that, what happens if sex keeps on getting better for her, or for anyone? For instance, as a woman in my early thirties, I can tell you that I like to fuck even more now than I did five or six years ago. And I did enjoy sex back then! It’s just that honestly, it keeps becoming more and more fun.

So by Gaga’s logic, does that mean that we women have to identify the age at which sex becomes mind-blowing, and then all save ourselves until then? Well, that probably wouldn’t work, because a) for some people, sex might just continue to improve, and then you would remain a virgin until you die, b) it’s not possible to do that because, again, sex is different for everyone, and c) part of the reason that sex often gets better as you get older is that you’ve learned what you like. By having sex.

Anyway, I suppose it’s not a bad idea for Gaga to provide her fans with the option of waiting to have sex and still being cool in the eyes of Mother Monster. It’s just that waiting doesn’t mean they’ll like it, and not waiting doesn’t mean they won’t.

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  • Lisa

    In any case, I think that it’s better to wait, whether you are a man or woman, to have sex until you are confident enough of some of your own desires… if only so that you do not just do it because everyone else is doing it at prom, or in your college social group, or whatever. If you want to start early and have good reasons, okay, but do know what an orgasm is, please.

  • MM

    I think it’s a good message just because our media is currently saturated with enough teen sexuality to make every virgin over 16 feel like a fool. Obviously, no one message applies to everyone, so I think it’s good that we have a diversity of messages at least, you know?

  • niamh

    I don’t think it’ll hurt to have a message from someone like Lady Gaga about waiting. We’re talking about fans as young as 12, who don’t really have a positive, (and crucially) secular message about it being okay not to rush in to sex. By talking about the woman’s enjoyment, she emphasises that it’s cool to wait- it’s a mature, sexy decision. I don’t think it’s harmful at all to have a massive public figure remind girls that sex doesn’t have to happen now.

  • Jamie Peck

    I agree with all of this! I really have nothing to add because you said it so well, but I noticed you didn’t have any agreeable comments, so here is one. Gotta love logic.

    • Jessica Ogilvie

      Thanks! Agreeable comments are awesome. Yay.

  • Shae

    ….practice makes perfect, maybe?