• Thu, Jul 28 2011

A Modern Girl’s Musings On Celebrity Marriages

If you haven’t heard about J-Lo and Marc Anthony in the last few days you probably live under a rock – or have more of a life than those of use to read the news. If the latter, good for you!

But just to refresh everyone, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony have called it quits (finally a legitimate reason for all the tears on the last season of American Idol!). They’re joining an ever-growing, pathetically sad list that includes: Brad & Jen, Madonna & Guy, Elizabeth Taylor & 1-?, Sandra & Jesse, and Scarlett & Ryan. For me, the only truly sad part is that J-Lo and Marc have kids. But other than that, I’m neither surprised nor bothered by this “news.”

In the midst of all the speculation reports are coming out that one particular irreconcilable difference is J-Lo’s taste in clothing. Apparently Marc thought that her sex symbol days should be behind her and that she’d embrace her wife and mother roles now that she’s past the big four oh (40). What a shocking and ludicrous idea! Diva is as diva does as Ms Lopez (because her last name surely wouldn’t be Anthony) has dropped more than one relationship that didn’t suit her particular whims at a particular time.

But seriously – is any one surprised by this? I highly doubt it. For 80 percent of celebrity marriages, I assume that they get married for mutually advantageous, and temporary reasons. They’re in LOVE!! Their movie just topped the opening weekend sales! They’ll have beautiful children! They can always just get a divorce and then get even more clips in tabloids.

Okay, okay. I can be fair: divorce, despite my lack of experience, must suck and be heart wrenching. I’m sure it’s not an easy decision and that, no matter what, no one wants to get divorced just because they can. And I’m sure that most celebrities don’t want what has caused them severe pain to be fodder for the gossip rags. But I still maintain that divorce can also be prevented.

For consistency, here is proof in long-lasting celebrity marriages:
57 years: Jerry Stiller & Anne Meara (Ben Stiller’s parents)
55 years: Kirk Douglas & Anne Buydens
34 years: Ron & Cheryl Howard
27 years: Danny DeVito & Reha Pearlman (They’ve survived Danny as the Penguin.)
26 years: Denzel & Pauletta Washington
21 years: Michael J Fox & Tracy Pollan (They’re surviving Michael’s horrible chronic disease: Parkinson’s.)
21 years: Tom Hanks & Rita Wilson (They survived the most boring movie ever: Cast Away)
21 years: Kevin Bacon & Kyra Sedgwick
18 years: John Travolta & Kelly Preston (They’re surviving one of the hardest things in live: the death of a child.)
13 years: Tim McGraw & Faith Hill (They survive country music!)
11 years: Michael Douglas & Katherine Zeta Jones (They’re surviving bipolar disorder.)
10 years: Freddy Prince Jr & Sarah Michelle Gellar
9 years: Gavin Rossdale & Gwen Stefani (They’re surviving a child from a previous union.)
8 years: Dave Grohl & Jordyn Blum (They’re surviving the facts that Dave’s a minor deity with tons of groupies and that I’d leave my husband for a shot at Dave. Sorry babe, but you know the rules of the celebrity top 5 list.)

These celebrity couples and others have stayed married despite all that Hollywood has to throw at them, and everything else that life throws as them. They’ve decided to stick it out through it all and have achieved the completely possible.

Don’t misunderstand me – I’m not saying that just anybody can prevent getting divorced. Marriage, like life, is not for the feint of heart. One must rise to the daily occasion. But “normal” people do it every day. I get monthly reminders of all the older couples I know who celebrate their 40+ anniversaries. What is perhaps exceptional about the still-married celebrity couples I mentioned is that they have done so against their circle’s culture.

Since I’m too jaded about celebrity relationships to care much about their divorces, let’s all savor and cherish the couples that endure. The next time a couple makes it past the 10-year mark and give each other some tin or aluminum, I want to see that on the front page of all entertainment rags.

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  • Erika Jerome

    Victoria and David Beckham have also been together for 10+ years.