• Wed, Aug 3 2011

Did Kids Ever Break-Up Nicely?

As I recall my break-up with my seventh grade boyfriend, he called me on the phone and said “so I think I need to date Julie. She’s my partner in science class” and I said “Oh, okay.” It was actually fine. I’d been waiting for a year to see if I could get him to kiss me, mostly by subtle ploys like wearing angora sweaters (Cosmo said it would work!) and it was starting to grate on my pre-pubescent ego. But I guess now kids are REALLY BAD at breaking up, and it’s all Mark Zuckerberg’s fault, and The New York Times is on it.

This is how they live now:

“Roberto, you’re really going to run all the way to your house after school to change your status?” a 16-year-old named Lazangie asked, shaking her head. She knows a thing or two about Facebook-related breakups: her last relationship ended, she said, because her ex-boyfriend couldn’t handle her male friends posting niceties on her wall.

“When I’m done with a relationship, I’m not going to wait a day, an hour or even 10 minutes to update my status,” Roberto told the group. “When it’s over, it’s over. I’m done with you.”

NEVER BE FRIENDS, KIDS. Staying “friends” is for lying losers! End it with anger! Then key her car after you’re done with her! Then reconcile! Don’t be afraid to live you’re life like you’re in a teen movie! You’re all vampires!

On that note, how did your early break-ups go? Well? Or were you just done with them? DONE WITH THEM?

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  • Ashlee

    In seventh grade, I was dating a family friend who was a year younger than me. All my friends thought he was H-O-T. When he first asked me out, in true middle school fashion, he IMed a friend of mine on AIM and told her to call me and ask if I’d go out with him. My school box and notebooks soon were covered with his name and hearts. Soon after (weeks? days?), he went out of town for a weekend baseball tournament. Somehow, I didn’t know about this, so I left like five messages on his family’s answering machine. On Monday, he called me and said “It’s not working out.” I said “what isn’t?” and he goes, “US.”

    And that was that. I was heartbroken for weeks.

  • Vanessa

    The first breakup I can recall was done at my 8th grade dance. I went with one boy, broke up with him at the dance, and left with his best friend. We all shared a table at the Chinese food restaurant we celebrated at afterwards though. Looking back, that was the best breakup I’ve ever had.

  • Lauren

    I didn’t have a break up until I was 20 years old. I was a “late bloomer” and I didn’t have a boyfriend until I was 17. We dated for almost 3 years and he broke up with me to “find himself”. A month later he found himself with another girl and moved in with her (he was 22) 2 months later. It took me almost a year to want to start dating again.

  • Colleen

    When I was a freshman in high school my boyfriend and I had a very calm break up. We had been separated by going to different schools and decided that it would be better to just be best friends. It was very pleasant and well worth it because we did stay friends. Then we dated again when we were 21. This was a much less pleasant break up. There wasn’t so much of a break up as there was him suddenly just refusing any contact with me for over a year. It was cold-hearted and awful, but somehow we’re friends again.

  • Sammytee

    I broke up with my middle school boyfriend by writing him a note (in bright orange gel pen, obvs) and handing it to him after science class. It said something to the extent of “omgz we should totally just be friends”–and actually, 10+ years later, he’s still my best friend.

  • Marion

    I think the best break up I had was one where I just got bored of him after a month and I called him one day and said “You know, I’m not really into this” he said “It’s ok, thanks for listening to me talk about my new game” So that’s really all I wanted I guess, I could have done that as a friend.

  • MM

    I ended my first relationship over ICQ messenger. Still don’t feel great about that one.

  • Sara

    My first ‘boyfriend’ ended the relationship by telling his friends he didn’t want to go out with me, his friends told their friends, their friends told their friends and eventually, after the whole school knew it was over, my friends told me. Ah, to be 13 again.

  • Jacki

    Ah, sweet young kinda love. In seventh grade my then boyfriend past me a note in class saying he wanted to break up…while passing the girl in front of him another note asking her to go out. All under 20 sec.

    It hurt a little when I found out he only dated me for a rare Yo-Gi-Oh card (not even two). We weren’t really ever friends afterwords, but then we weren’t really close when we were dating either, so I suppose it’ was all for the best.

  • K. Wolff

    My first boyfriend broke up with me via letter.
    Yes, he sent a letter through the mail system, even though he lived two houses down. It comsisted of ,”Sorry I’ve been avoiding you, but we can still be friends.”
    To this day, 6 years later, we are still friends.

  • Anne

    The day after my 15th birthday I went round to see my boyfriend of 6 months, but he wasn’t there. His mom gave me a birthday present, this fantastic white angora sweater that I put on right away. Then she gave me a card from my BF. It was a happy birthday card, but in it said he didn’t want to be tied down anymore so we could see other people. I was devastated and left in tears.
    Half way home I met his best friend and he asked me what was up. I told him and he said my ex was crazy, I was the most beautiful girl at our school and hugged me. As we stood there he stroked me saying how soft and sexy I was.
    Thanks to my ex’s mom giving my my sexy angora sweater, that I still wear, we are now engaged and my ex is going to be the best man!