Fashion Disasters: Lacey Schwimmer’s Ridiculous Bra-Top Outfit From Every Angle

Let’s get this out of the way. Here’s the demure version:

"I'll have a macro-bento and, like, a cup of Pu-erh!"

Dancing With The Stars person of interest Lacey Schwimmer was hosting an event at the  Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas last week and apparently she “performed.” Does that mean she danced? Or lip synced to something? I don’t know. Anyway, the girl loves her spectacularly hideous rib-revealing bra-tops (this isn’t her first rodeo) but this is over-the-top, even as a performance outfit. To go with her Sexy Mrs. Satan Clause bra-top, she’s added American Apparel workout leggings from 5 years ago and some kind of confusing suede Doc Moccasins. I’ve lost the gift of sight forever, but here are some photos for you to look at.

Photo credit: Judy Eddy/

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    • Kat

      It IS ridiculous, but it’s Vegas, so that makes it okay IMO. I do like the fact that she’s not a stick and she is showing off her curvy body with confidence.

    • Olivia

      I feel like she used to be kind of cool, like didn’t she have black hair and an extra 15 pounds? Does dancing with the stars just do this to people?

    • sheherbano


    • Zoe

      What. She is about to fall out of that bra thingy whatever it is. She looks confident though! I guess that’s what counts.

    • Meghan Keane

      Somebody should start a non-profit designed to emancipate those puppies.

      • Ashley Cardiff

        They are trying to break free!

    • Lo

      Agh no what is she doing to her breasts? They’re not meant to look oblong.

    • Lurkeress

      Seriously? People? This is a shitty photograph taken from a shitty angle and you’re all going to base what you say about this woman (whom I don’t know who she is) on this photograph?

      Shame on fucking all of you. Seriously, like there’s never been a pic of you with a double chin and chewing food that made it to your family’s viewing circle at some point. These criticisms about this photograph are SHIT.

      I know bad photography when I see it. You know what else I know? I also know that those bad photographs don’t represent the people being photographed sufficiently.

      Seriously? “Her breasts are not meant to look obong.”??? Are you fucking kidding me? She’s dancing in that picture. Of course her breasts look weird. So would YOURS if you were caught unexpectedly in the middle of a fucking dance move.

      Yes, condemn the woman for her unfortunate taste in clothing but DO NOT make it look like this is about her body. It isn’t. If you make it so, you’re missing the fucking point.

      • sigh

        But it’s her unfortunate choice of clothing that’s making her boobs all oblong, not her dance moves. Look at that crazy bra harness whatever thing! It’s squeezing the life out of her poor bosom! Putting aside for a moment how bizarre it looks, just think of how utterly uncomfortable it must feel. Yeouch.

        And it’s hard for me to tell because my eyes are burning, but is that a garter belt? Well, at least she’s having fun.

      • Cori

        It seriously bothers me that people find it ok to harass those that criticize this woman. She is a public figure, people! And not just that, but on a red carpet where she knows she will be photographed by many people. To say that every single one of these photos is a bad photo and that is why she looks this way is just stupid, because she is posing in them!
        If someone is a public figure who is going to an event and walking a red carpet, that person knows that he or she will be criticized. It comes with the business.
        Get the stick out of your ass and realize that not everyone is going to say only the nice things on their mind. She put herself out there and this is the consequence of that.

    • Aileen

      It is quite sad that with everything that is going on in the world today, that a person has nothing better to write about than what somebody looks like.

      • Jennifer Wright

        She looks that way because of the rocky roller coaster ride that has been the DOW these past few weeks.

      • Ashley Cardiff

        Thankfully this is a fashion site (which is what we’re objecting to), not an everything that is going on in the world today site.

    • Amanda Gun

      I think it’s a really cool top! I would definitely wear it myself. I’d try to find it in the correct size rather than two sizes too small, though