• Wed, Aug 17 2011

The Editors Discuss: Understanding Child-Bride Courtney Stodden One Tweet At A Time

Courtney Stodden’s Twitter feed–as Jamie Peck pointed out over at our sister site Crushable– reads as if she were a character in a porn movie. We go beneath the constantly open mouth to figure out who she is on the inside (hint: someone exotic!).

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  • UncleL

    i am so disturbed by this girl

  • Jamie Peck

    I’m so glad that screenshot I’ve been using has caught on.

    • Ashley Cardiff

      It was either that or her in the “Don’t Put It On Me” video clutching the bong cup full of apple juice.

  • Catherine

    She is trying SO hard to be sexy that it’s almost laughable. It would be completely laughable, but she’s so young and so obviously desperate for attention that it’s just sad instead. Poor girl. She needs some makeup remover, a substitute mom, some typical teenage friends, a hug, and a ride to the first day of 10th grade. Oh yeah, and a divorce.

    • Lauren

      Amen!

  • Christie

    I should not read this at work. I bust out laughing at the commentary at least five times.

  • Anne

    I am laughing my head off! I am also appalled. Not at you guys, though. You guys are awesome.

  • Maris

    I’m just glad she gets so much pleasure out of life. When I’m rolling out of bed in the morning I am usually not tantalized…then again, who knows how late she sleeps?

  • OG

    Holy crap that was funny. Dying laughing.

    ;-X

  • andrea dunlop

    ‘Crawling into bed exotically’ sounds like Mad Libs. Actually the whole thing sounds like Mad Libs. She’s probably never played Mad Libs though because a creepy middle-aged actor stole her childhood.

    Now I’m just depressed.

  • sarahk

    Oh damn, you bitches made me laugh at loud at work. If I get fired, I’m blaming you.

    ;-X

  • Jen

    Dear lord, you two are funny. I think I ruptured something trying not to laugh out loud at work.

    ;oX

  • Jessica Pauline Ogilvie

    Dude, that picture is so upsetting.

  • Rachel

    You two are so hilarious. Period.

  • miinxi

    THE BETTER TO FUCK ME WITH! hahahahahahahahhahahahahaa!! yeah I think thats the subtext to all this girls tweets. It reminds me of when I read Jenna Jameson’s autobiography; she wrote at 16 she walked around with a constant need to be penetrated. Im pretty sure thats what this girl is going through.

  • Cassieleigh

    There is no emoticon, text abbreviation or euphemism to convey how freaking funny this is and how much I laughed. Nor can any of these convey how disturbing this chick is – except maybe an emoticon that vomits.

    Cheers, Ladies, for making me laugh.

  • endn

    I feel so uncomfortable after reading those tweets, like someone is trying to force me into a ridiculous cybersex session

  • Ash

    wait, THIS is the 16 year old that got married? no way, i think she is really a 30 year old failed erotic novelist who is (exotically) trying to fool us into believing that she is 16…. at least that’s what these tweets and picture are telling me. :- )

    • Teems

      Your reply was so sensual :)

  • Casey

    How did I not know she had a Twitter account?! Following her now. I need daily laughs like this. Do you suppose she would consider changing her profile pic to the awkward lip-curled photo in this article?

  • tiffany

    Yay. This was the funniest thing I’ve read today.

  • Sam

    Your commentary is priceless. I could not stop laughing at this.

  • Jenny

    Obviously she learned how to do the splits for her future career as a stripper…..I don’t think I’m really even joking that much…..

    I’m so disturbed right now. Seriously? “my pink lil naked…” we all know what imagery she was trying to evoke there.

  • MM

    She’s sliding an ice cube all over her body? Finally we know who is actually following those Cosmo tips.

  • aliclo

    Ummm she keeps using the word “sensual” in the wrong way she really should really watch this clip from Animal House http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9ZjOCSLYlc

    Although, she probably has no idea this movie exists…

  • JJ

    Her mouth twitches she makes when she knows the camera is straight on her makes me think of a coke-head. Her tics actually bother me much more than her marriage. She looks much much older than 16. She could be a fresh faced beauty if she didn’t put all that make-up on with a trowel.

  • JJ

    It did not post!

  • cjane

    This is the funniest thing I have read on this topic. Y’all are so awesome. Exotically awesome. ;x>>>!

  • x

    this. this is perfect.
    bless you both, awesome people.

  • Patricia

    I had no idea who this girl was until just now. I mean, I still don’t reaaaally get it, but from what I understand she’s a 17 year-old who married the guy from the Green Mile? Or someone who looks surprisingly like him?

    Why do we care? I mean, yes it’s a huge age difference, but for whatever reason they got married, that’s what they wanted, so there. Can you get married at 16 in America without legal consent from one or both parents?

    Yes I find her plastic surgery and Carmen-Electra-circa-1997 look disturbing, but I don’t think that’s grounds for such an obsession over both their obvious thirst for attention and lack of elegance.

  • Jan

    Hahahaha….she is “special” isn’t she?

  • Nadia

    I have no idea who Courtney Stodden is, but I can’t believe anyone would actually write that stuff…

    “The better to fuck me with…” ftw