• Wed, Aug 17 2011

Poll: Which Of These Two Break-Ups Is Worse?

We were reading a story on the Frisky about a divorced woman who had broken things off with her husband when he cheated on her. She was out with a new guy who had left his partner after ten years after realizing he “wasn’t in love with her anymore.”

We agreed that all break-ups suck, but we weren’t sure which one sounded worse.

Look, I think a case can be made for the cheating being worse insofar as it will make you skeptically assess all your future’s partners’ fidelity. Or your current partner’s fidelity if you stay with him. However, on the upside, your partner will probably feel terrible and you will get to be angry at them and have them beg your forgiveness.

If your partner just falls out of love with you and you’re still in love with them, well, there’s nothing you can do. However, if they’re not in love with you at least they’ve been honest and respectful of you, and you’ll be free to move on and find someone else without lingering baggage from your past relationship.

So. Let’s go to that dark place! Given a choice, would you rather get cheated on, or have someone fall out of love with you?

Sorry! This poll is now closed.

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  • Isabel

    This is hard. Initially I would have said “have someone fall out of love” because being cheated on is really a blow to one’s ego. But I think it’d be easier to be able to blame the guy for being an asshole (cheating) than blame myself for being undesirable, or feeling like I could have changed something I can’t even put my finger on.
    So being cheated on. All the way.

  • Somnilee

    What if they fell out of love you AND cheated on you? And the two weren’t necessarily mutually exclusive. Liiike…they started cheating on you, then they realised they didn’t love you, then they continued cheating on you?

  • Lauren

    I have had both happen to me. They both suck. But honestly, I got over the cheating thing a lot faster. Cheating is a betrayal, but you know point blank what happened. With someone falling out of love with you, you have no idea what went wrong and you agonize over it. The moment I was cheated on, I fell out of love with that guy because I deserve to be respected, and we broke up. We both knew why. When my boyfriend (who I thought I was going to marry) broke up with me because he no longer loved me, all I did was wonder why. How had I changed? What about me was no longer lovable? It took me almost a year to want to date anyone again, and I was in college, dating mecca, and I had no desire.

  • Niszka

    I’d rather be cheated on, because I think that cheating is, in most cases, a sign that your partner is out of love with you anyway. I find it hard to imagine a scenario where a partner who is truly in love with you, and cares for you deeply, would cheat on you. If my partner is out of love with me (either scenario), cheating would at least make it easier to break up and move on.

  • Ponytail

    I agree, cheating is easier to get over since you can focus the anger on him rather than on yourself. I am sorry, Somnilee, but if he even starts cheating, it means he is not truly in love with you at that point. They are not mutually exclusive, no matter what he would say. Cheating is a clear sign that the relationship isn’t good, so just admit it and get out. Talking from experience, from both sides.