• Mon, Aug 29 2011

Your English Degree Can Double As Kleenex In A Pinch: Snooki Is Publishing A Second Book

Snooki is writing a book. A second book. …I’m sorry but it’s just more efficient if I let my id take control of this post:

WASTE OF SKIN NICOLE “SNOOKI” POLIZZI (OF JERSEY SHORE INFAMY) IS WORKING ON A SECOND BOOK AFTER THE SUCCESS OF HER THINLY-VEILED MEMOIR A SHORE THING WHICH I DIDN’T READ BUT I THINK WAS ABOUT MAKING BAD DECISIONS AND GETTING SAND IN HER VAGINA OR SOMETHING. ANYWAY, SHE’S NOW WRITING A BOOK ON STYLE. YES, SNOOKI, THE FUNCTIONALLY ILLITERATE TANG-COLORED MUPPET OF THE JERSEY SHORE WILL IN ALL LIKELIHOOD BE A NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING AUTHOR… TWICE. LET’S ALL HAVE A STIFF DRINK IN HONOR OF THE BOOK’S GHOSTWRITER, THAT BRAVE SOUL. MOREOVER, THE BOOK IS A STYLE GUIDE. IN OTHER WORDS: A GUIDE TO STYLE. SNOOKI IS WRITING A BOOK ABOUT STYLE. SNOOKI IS FAMOUS FOR VACUUM SEALING HER BODY IN PINK LEOPARD PRINT AND MUKLUKS. WHEN WILL THE NIGHTMARE END?

More reasonable people explain:

The Snookster was asked on Twitter about when she was planning on putting more words on paper. She responded, “In November! Stay tuned babes.”

From Our Partners

Share This Post:
  • ena

    OH GOD, WHY????? THIS IS THE REASON HURRACAINES AND TORNADOS HAPPEN!!!!!!! KILL IT WITH FIRE!

  • jack

    I don’t remember hearing outrage like this the last time Nicholas Sparks or Stephenie Meyer published something, and either one of those two is equally unqualified. Blame people for having no taste, not “writers” for seeing the opportunity in it.

    • Jeremy

      Jack, I think you have sand in your vagina as well.

  • Ninargh

    This is incredibly depressing. I have an English degree :(

  • Pippa

    The author of this post sounds jealous and unfulfilled with her own life. Get a life!