• Tue, Aug 30 2011

Courtney Stodden Is So Wet Right Now (And Other Things We Learned From Her Twitter)

We’re not joking. More than half of her recent Twitter activity is about being wet. We’re beginning to suspect it’s a metaphor for something. Something exotic. Here, editors Jennifer Wright and Ashley Cardiff try (again) to parse what’s going on in Courtney’s mixed up, crazy world.

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  • Fabel

    Yessss

  • Katie

    Does anyone else get the impression she’s just playing a game of Sexy Mad-Libs?

  • Venus in Furs

    Who the F is Courtney Stodden?

  • Eileen

    Can we please, please, please start ignoring this woman? She’s done absolutely nothing of public value with her seventeen years of life, and she’s clearly just trying to get attention. Don’t give in!

  • DebMoore

    Thank you Ashley and Jennifer, that was so funny! I loved the part about the ice tea.

  • sigh

    Like a car wreck, it’s rill hard to look away from child-bride Courtney Stodden, and on the flip side of the fascinating thrill, I get that oogy “what if the driver is dead?!” feeling reading her tweets or watching videos or pictures or whatever. Cripes, just her name kind of gives me the chills. I feel sad for her and wincingly embarrassed in that way grownups feel embarrassed for teenagers (all teenagers, but more so her). (Crap, I just realized I’m more than twice her age. When the hell did that happen? Anyway… )

    Which pretty much begs the question, what about Mr. Courtney Stodden, the grown man who is this girl’s soulmate? What the hell kind of a creep is that dude? At what point was he like, “she won’t stop bearing her teeth and she loves Jesus almost as much as she loves getting nakes and ice. SHE IS THE ONE!”? Can we get some analysis there? Please, Jennifer & Ashley, make it make sense.

  • sparksonfire89

    I sincerely do not understand her need to use dashes with every adjective she uses in nearly all of her tweets “sensuous-shore” etc…does she think they’re required? Also, it’s like she’s a 3rd grader learning the function of descriptive words and is determined to use them as frequently as possible to make herself seem intelligent. FAIL. Oh god, it’s painful to read.

  • Olivia

    All I can feel is sorry for Courtney Stodden because I’m confident that she was most like sexually abused and while her twitter is amusingly vapid, your bit about laughing so we don’t cry is completely correct. Except sometimes I do cry.

    That girl, who by all accounts is very lovely and probably capable of being intelligent, is being taken advantage of by a fucking pedophile. And I imagine it’s because she has that complex one develops when sexually abused, you tend to attach yourself to yourself to your abuser or people like your abuse or act out to get what you perceive to be love from others. At the end of the day I sincerely hopes she gets help.

    Brought to you by Hallmark.

    • around the bend

      I totally agree. Give her about ten years, and the story will come out. Very sad, in the meantime.

    • Amy S

      I couldn’t agree more. I am happy I am not the only one who thinks this way. I have followed her tweets, I can’t really put my finger on why, maybe I am waiting for her to say “just kidding!” It is just so disturbing to me, and there are actually people who validate them. This girl has issues. So sad. Watching the videos of her make me even more concerned.

  • Amy S

    Ashley and Jennifer your commentary actually made me feel a bit better. Thank you for your analysis on all of this!

  • Paige

    This bitch is stupid.