But you know who definitely should be a badass? Anyone who calls themselves a Charlie’s Angel.
Because let me see if I remember the plotline to the original 1970s TV show correctly: three women work undercover for some dude named Charlie. They fight and talk smack and do stunts. The whole point of the show was that it was groundbreaking because it featured women in physically aggressive roles.
In other words, everything about it was badass.
So can someone please tell me why the billboards for this fall’s remake look like an ad for Yoplait? There’s the angelic hue cast over all three of the actresses, as if to say, “a ray of sunshine and goodness follows us everywhere!” Then there’s those fucking wholesome smiles and looks in their eyes, suggesting that rather than thinking about jumping out of a helicopter, they’re saying to themselves: “Ooh, I think this afternoon I’m going to eat a key lime pie flavored Fiber One! I’m so bad!”
Please, ladies, and please, ABC. I’m so sick of seeing that look on women’s faces. Some of us can actually handle a woman who would eat a real piece of cheesecake instead of a 100-calorie carton of live bacteria. Can we have those ladies be the Charlie’s Angels? Can we?
(Also, this is what we think about yogurt commercials.)