Why I Hate Fashion’s Night Out

Fashion’s Night Out is this Thursday, and the inbox here at Gloss HQ is overflowing with press releases about store openings, celebrity appearances, and drink specials. As a lover of all things fashion, this is supposed to be all eight days of Hanukkah wrapped up in one. But every time I think about what I want to spend Thursday night doing, it involves hiding in my room.

FNO, as it is lovingly known, was created by none other than Anna Wintour. The festivities are supposed to, as Racked puts it, “help jump-start the economy and help out retail by buying clothing, shoes, and accessories at full price.” But I can barely hear myself think over the din of fifteen-year-old celebrity DJs, and I’m not terribly inspired to shop. For the last few years, I have done almost all of my shopping online. On a normal day, dealing with pushy New York sales clerks and long lines of people arguing about how that sweater was totally on the sale rack is more than I want to do. And Fashion’s Night Out is that overcrowded, underwhelming Victoria’s-Secret-semiannual-sale-esque shopping experience multiplied by twenty. Like New Year’s Eve, it’s one of those nights when you’re supposed to be happy and glamorous, but you spend all night bouncing from one party to the next in an attempt to have omgthebesttimeever, only to wind up with sore feet and a vow that next year you’re just going to stay in and watch Dick Clark on TV.

I understand why Anna Wintour wants people to support the fashion industry – after all, it supports her. More people buying clothes means more designers being paid to make them and, in turn, more editors being paid to write about them. But even with the economy on shaky ground, it’s hard for me to feel like fashion is some kind of endangered species that we need to protect. As long as there’s still a market for $39,000 backpacks and $1,500 T-shirts, it’s difficult to think that waiting in a ridiculously long line to buy designer-branded nail polish is somehow on par with saving the whales. Now, if Anna has any interest in launching Fashion’s Night In, where we all go online at the same time and try to buy the same dress from the Anthropologie sale without crashing the internet? I’d be there.

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