This week, some candid images of Ali Lohan hit the internet and caused a stir. This was striking because normally no one pays attention to Ali Lohan. They barely pay attention to her sister anymore, for that matter. Anyway, the images caused a stir because Ali looks like a completely different human: plasticine skin, hyper-sculpted chin, swollen lips and cheekbones that look like they came out of a Jell-O mold. This is horrible, of course, because Ali Lohan is 17.
Gossip Cop caught hold of big sister Lindsay Lohan and asked her if Ali has had some work done. Lindsay say, “No way! Never!” and added a whole new file to the towering, overflowing cabinet of Lies Lindsay Lohan Has Told. (“These aren’t my pants!” “That video of me stealing does not depict me stealing!”)
Here is another shot to remind you what Ali Lohan’s face used to look like:
Honestly, I feel like an asshole talking about a 1) teenager and 2) a person’s physical appearance this way, so if you want to criticize me for talking about Ali Lohan in this way, that’s fine and that’s fair. But in the world of Lohan, you can bet just about any media shitstorm is 100% calculated for maximum attention. If we’re going to be baited this cynically, we should be frank about how desperation for fame and notoriety poisons the brain: a teenager appears to have been disfigured so that the Lohan brand can sustain a few more weeks in the tabloids.
[UPDATE:] Ali’s modeling agency NEXT says:
“Contrary to recent reports, I can confirm that Aliana Lohan has not had any surgery,” Alexis Borges, the agency director at Next Model Management, which represents Ali, told E! News. ”As a young girl who is growing up, it’s natural for her facial features to change slightly, and we see this with many of the younger models we represent. Aliana is a beautiful 17-year-old girl who is growing into her face and body, as is the norm for someone of her age. We take pastoral care of our models very seriously and encourage the models to maintain a healthy lifestyle and body shape.”