• Mon, Sep 19 2011

Beauty Treatments Of The Damned: Bigger Boobs Are Only A Slap Away

Want bigger boobs but scared of getting surgery? How about a prettier face and a rounder butt? All you need to do is travel to Bangkok, Thailand, where a woman named Khunying-Tobnom Na Songkhla will slap the ugly right out of you.

In addition to breast-slapping treatments designed to make her customers’ boobs grow, she offers face and buttock slapping treatments as well. And for a tidy sum, she might just teach you how to do it on other people.

“Most of our customers are women who want to be beautiful, but we prefer clients to be over 18,” Ms. Na Songkhla says. Nice to know unrealistic standards of beauty are not confined to Western culture. But how does it work? She doesn’t say, but assures us that it does. There have yet to be any legit clinical trials, but I’m going to go out on a limb and say that the slapping treatments might cause your boobs to swell temporarily, like any body part does when repeatedly hit. Ouch. On the other hand, it’s certainly less dangerous than getting actual plastic surgery, so maybe it’s a decent alternative. And maybe the trials will prove there is something to it, assuming they do any.

The Institute of Thai Traditional and Alternative Medicine recommends slender women supplement the treatments by gaining a bit of weight, which seems sort of like when the characters in the movie Go tell people the fake drugs they’re selling them will get them super high if they take them with a lot of pot, but whatever. Breast slapping: it’s not just for pornos anymore.

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  • tom

    I have applied for the position of breast enlargement technician

  • Stephanie Zhao

    Apparently this treatment is $300,000 dollars.