• Fri, Sep 23 2011

Celebrities Who Want You To Know They Aren’t Feminists

You know what I really hate? Making the same amount as men for the same work. Also, choices. Jesus, I fucking hate choices. What I like is lying on a fainting couch and just having my ass grabbed. And weeping and popping pills to combat the vague malaise that comes with having no options to establish my own identity.

Because the definition of feminism is pretty simple. It’s corny to say that “it’s the radical idea that women are human beings”, but the dictionary defines it as “The advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men.” Men AND women can support that idea, and have, pretty successfully, over the past 100 or so years. Perhaps their efforts have moved us into a place where it’s just something we don’t really think about anymore.

Still, on a pretty serious note, if you look at want ads in the 1950′s, you’ll see they were broken down by male and female categories. Women couldn’t get to work in, say, publishing because all the junior editor jobs were in the “male” section. Your option was to be a secretary even if you graduated at the top of your class. Maybe we don’t identify as feminists because we don’t have any perception of how absolutely bizarre the world would be, by our standards, without the feminist movement.

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  • Rachel

    I hate how people are too scared to call themselves a feminist, its like they’re scared of how men will react or think being a feminist means hating men it’s pretty pathetic

    • Lisa

      I agree it’s pathetic. And I will gladly label myself as a feminist. However, seeing how some “feminists” have treated men and other women can definitely make one more wary about using the term.

      My best friend-a guy-who has been raised to be polite, hold the door open for others (not just women), give up seats to the elderly etc. has been lambasted for following general courteous behavior because “I don’t need a man to hold open my door!” Yeah…fun times. And don’t get me started on the women who advocate choices and then belittle other women’s choices.

      Sorry. Digression over. All that being said, feminism is kind of awesome, needs to be continued, and I will always take O’Connor’s version (whatever she chooses to call it) over Palin’s.

    • Elle

      I would love to meet these mythical feminists that people like you always bring up. I have literally never in my entire life seen someone criticized for practicing basic matters.

    • griddley

      i love how feminists perpetually portray women as perpetual victims, ‘too scared’ to call themselves a feminist?…uh please. it’s like we perpetually live in the 19th century…oh the horrifying social backlash of admitting you’re a feminist!…you really need to be a hero to admit this publicly today. what an avalanche of crap.

    • Marianna2nd2none

      Agree!

  • Jenny

    I think the reason many are afraid to call themselves feminists is because nowadays the only women loudly proclaiming themselves “feminists” are the ones who don’t believe in equality — they believe in women as superior.

    • Jamie Peck

      Please quote me several current feminist thinkers saying that they think women are better than men. DO IT YOU CAN’T.

    • Ashley Cardiff

      @Jenny where on earth are you getting that from?

    • 123

      I bet “Jenny” is really Jimmy.

    • Chloe

      Someone needs to stop getting their political opinions from Rush Limbaugh. Statements like this are why feminism still needs to exist- internalized misogyny has too many women afraid to advocate for themselves because heaven forbid they rub anyone the wrong way.

    • Jenny

      Oh come on, seriously? How many people, on average, interact with (or can even name one) current feminist thinker?

      I’m talking about the average bubble-headed woman who runs around calling herself a feminist, because THAT is the person who we all interact with and THAT is the person that gives feminism a bad name. Don’t pretend you haven’t met her. You have. She’s who causes the Rush Limbaugh types come up with phrases like “militant feminist” and “feminazi”.

      It’s because of truly anti-feminist woman claiming they are the example of feminism that feminism has gotten a bad name.
      They tout woman as superior to men.
      They claim stay-at-home moms should be ashamed and are contrary to feminism. Last time I checked, feminism was about equality and the right of every woman to choose what she wanted to do and who she wanted to be.

    • JO

      So anytime someone whom you don’t like associates with a cause you agree with you abandon your political objectives? It’s ridiculous to say that FEMINISTS SHOULDN’T DESCRIBE THEMSELVES AS FEMINISTS just because other people who don’t know what it means do. Should Americans who believe in Democracy not consider themselves such just because the USA’s politics are often not democratic?

      Seems like another example of ingrained misogyny when supposedly one bad apple can discredit the ENTIRE movement.

    • JG_Cali

      @ Jenny: I’d still like a concrete example of a “feminazi” or bubble head that you refer to, as I believe these characters are inventions of insecure individuals who are afraid of a woman who is not a doormat. I can give you several examples of true feminists who are not “militant”– blogger Courtney Martin, author Isabelle Allende, my mother, the list could go on.

      Similar to other activists, most modern feminists recognize the need to have allies–putting men down or being “man haters” is counterproductive and only feeds the stereotype you buy into so fully.

      Lastly, as JO mentions in her post, just because someone doesn’t understand the meaning of feminism doesn’t mean the term should be avoided. In fact, if a woman avoids the term, it only gives more opportunities for insecure individuals to continue creating confusion. With ownership of the term, it makes generalizations like yours become even more empty.

    • Jenny

      @ JO – where did I say that women shouldn’t call themselves feminists? For that matter, where did I say I don’t call myself a feminist? I didn’t.

      Perhaps you should take a second to be open minded and consider what someone is saying before you whip yourself into a frenzy.

      I don’t think the women who falsely appropriate feminism for reverse misogyny are right. Nor do I think that Rush Limbaugh and the rest of his bigoted cronies are right.

      I offered an opinion as to why I think people shy away from the word feminist.

      @JG_Cali – Unfortunately, one of my close friends (Ally) is one of these “bubble-heads”. She went to Agnes Scott, an all-female college in Atlanta, and actually started parroting the material she learned in one of her Women’s Studies classes about the different types of feminism and how she belonged to the group that thinks women are superior. I told her she’s an idiot. She has a whole flock of friends that agree with her and they all get together and brainwash each other.

    • Canaduck

      @Jenny

      I think your impressions are exactly what Rush Limbaugh (etc) wants out of you. You insist that you disagree with his misogyny, and yet you’ve bought into it as a result of your own limited experiences with a few dumb bubble-headed college students. (And let’s be fair here–lots of college kids are pretty bubble-headed about their various causes. That’s just something that happens while they figure themselves out.) Limbaugh and his many cronies–not to mention the emerging breed of pathetic “men’s rights advocates”–have happily pushed the idea any woman who dares to call herself a feminist is actually just a frumpy, petty, man-hating lesbian with an axe to grind, whose main agenda includes decrying stay-at-home mothers and complaining when men open doors for her.

      If we don’t hold onto the word, we lose it. And we need it. What I want to see on forums like these are people saying, “Of course I’m a feminist. Why wouldn’t I be?” not irrelevant comments about “feminazis”, who really only represent a microscopic portion of an important cause that both women and men the world over continue to fight for.

    • Chris

      The likes of Mary Daly, Valerie Solanas, Gloria Steinem, Germaine Greer and Robin Morgan are idolised by many “young feminist thinkers”. The gender studies courses that produce “young feminist thinkers” are based on the lies and hate-mongering that was trotted out by rabid second-wave feminists.

      Every woman who uses sex as a means of controlling men and getting an advantage is more or less saying she has no integrity and is too lazy to work like a man.

      Women are not paid less than men when they perform the same work. God knows how many times this feminazi claim has been rebutted by people who actually know what they’re talking about. Stating the same old feminazi lie over and over again doesn’t make it true.

      The women’s groups that encourage single women and lesbians to use IVF are more or less saying men are inferior.

      Any feminist who actually believes in the Duluth Model and the theory on ‘patriarchy’ is more or less an uneducated fool who assumes that women are morally superior to men and more nurturing. Anyone who has knowledge of history knows that there isn’t a shred of evidence to support the feminist nonsense about patriarchy. Look at their claim about violence.

      If violence is man’s way of ensuring men are dominant over women in society then how come DV is prevalent among the lesbian community?

      What about FGM? That’s performed by elder women. Can’t blame that one on ‘patriarchy’. Besides, most FGM doesn’t involve the complete removal of the clitoris, just the clitoral hood and labia minora. The feminazis never let that secret out of the bag. They want everyone to think it involves the complete removal of the clitoral hood and clitoris. Their lies about women without a clitoris not being able to orgasm is another example. The same nerve that innervates the clitoris is also responsible for the G-spot sensation because it travels just about the vaginal passages about 2 or 3 cm from the vaginal opening. That means a clitoris-less woman can organism if she has intercourse. Another example of feminists cheapening a real issue by exaggerating its severity. Yeah its’ bad to remove a woman’s clitoris, but don’t lie about its commonality and effect. Let people know that women without a clitoris find it harder to orgasm, but don’t lie by saying they’ll never have one. When people realise the feminists don’t tell the whole truth then it makes them wonder whatelse they’re lying about.

  • Rachel

    So basically it’s just an issue of semantics

  • Jamie Peck

    I agree with you on everything except your statement that we maybe don’t need to think about feminism anymore. Reproductive rights, cops raping people and getting away with it, and equal pay for equal work are just a few of the many injustices that remain. Also: prevailing cultural attitudes, which are more nebulous and hard to change, but still worthy of our attention. Great strides have been made but that doesn’t mean we don’t still have a ways left to go!

    Signed,
    SincereJamie

    • Rachel

      So true. I definitely think it hurts the cause when women (especially privileged women like celebs) make a statement that they’re not feminist or try to put forward that we don’t need feminism and should just be happy with what we have. Things have gotten better but there is still a lot of inequality and they try to create this discourse to set us back. we need strong women in the publicsphere who aren’t afraid to say their feminist or who didn’t become famous because they made a sex tape, or are extended relatives of someone who made a sex tape.

    • Chris

      Reproductive rights?

      Women are the only sex that has reproductive rights.

      So no, it’s not a feminist issue. It’ s a men’s rights issue!

      Women have rights but fewer reponsibilities. Men have fewer rights and more responsibilities. Says to me that feminism is indeed redundant.

      Cops batter men more often than they batter women.

      Women are not paid less than men when they perform “equal” work. Anyone who thinks men are being paid more for the same work doesn’t know how to read statsitics. The feminazi stats on “equal pay” are a comparison of the median wage for all men and women in the workforce. Since there are more men working full-time and men tend to dominate the tougher, more dangerous sectors that offer more pay, the total amount earted by all men is going to be greater than the total amount earned by all women. You cannot use that as proof that women are paid less for equal work.

  • Jamie Peck

    Also, I’m glad Michele Bachmann doesn’t call herself a feminist, because she is not one. She supports policies that run counter to feminism’s generally agreed upon goals.

  • Eileen

    I kind of think that being a feminist – whether you’re comfortable with the label or not – is more important than calling yourself a feminist, especially since, whatever your dictionary might say, people often interpret the word “feminist” in different ways. I mean, let’s look at the Sandra Day O’Connor comment. She doesn’t call herself a feminist. Sarah Palin, on the other hand, does call herself a feminist. Now, I will defend Sarah Palin against sexist comments until my mouth runs dry and my voice dies out, but I’ll still take O’Connor over her because O’Connor is awesome.

  • Andrea Dworkin

    You criticized everyone of these women. I thought the feminist movement was about empowering women to have their own ideas? Its seems feminism has become a militant ideology where every woman must think the same (communism) Feminists look at themselves as the mother bees and all women must become your worker bees. Just because a woman doesn’t agree with feminism, does not mean she’s doing a great injustice to her gender. Your movement is intolerant to anyone who doesn’t agree with you. You victimize women and demonize men. Your arrogance, hypersensitivity, and misandry will be the down fall of your movement.

    • Michelle

      Feminism means equality between the sexes. Period.

      This does not mean we have to support anyone, male or female, who makes statements opposing this, whether its intentifully hurtful or not.

      Its a common misconception that feminism means we have to support all women regardless. If a woman wanted to take away women’s right to vote, should we support that? Is that inline with the definion of feminism, equality between the sexes?

      If a woman doesn’t agree with feminism, is she doing an injust to her gender.

      Feminism is about empowering women to make their own choices based on an evening playing field.

      As a woman, you have benifited highly from the feminist movement. You should be thanking it, not trying to harm it.

      Also, communism =/= feminism. I don’t think you know the meaning of either word.

    • Chris

      The feminist movement is about gaining every right that was enjoyed by men and shielding women from the legal responsibilities that were assigned to men. They wish to retain every 19th century legal practice that gave women partial or complete exemption from certain acts under criminal and civil law.

      Whenever a woman commits a horrific crime or acts irresponsibly there’s a feminazi only a few feet away screaming that she should be given a lesser sentence than a man or not punished at all. Look at their stance on rape. They say if a man and woman are drunk when they agree to have sex then the woman is raped by the man is not and that the man should be charged with rape. It’s a classic example of feminists believing women should be held to lesser standards.

      If a woman mutilates a man’s genitalia then most women and feminists find it funny and try to find a reason to justify it, yet these very same people say there’s never an excuse for a man to raise his hand to a woman. The Catherine Keiu Becker case is a good example. A sane person realises that disfiguring another person’s genitalia is never acceptable because its effects cannot be reversed. They also know that a man raising his hand to a woman isn’t going to cause the same sort of devastating effects as a forced penectomy on a conscious man. Yet these feminists, who you people claim are for “equality”, think that a man raising his hand to a woman is worse than a woman mutilating a man’s genitalia. The same feminists claim that FGM is never acceptable and a horrible issue that must be ended. Hypocrites.

  • Ruby

    @ Jenny i have been hard pressed to find the type of feminist “bubble-heads” you refer to studies classes/ general life experiences the type of feminist you refer to in any of my gender studies classes/my numerous and delightful feminist identifying female and male friends. however it is almost impossible not to fine this bizarre and alienating caricatures of feminists in the media. i might direct you to this awesome video by feminist frequency on the prevalence of of negative feminist or “straw” feminist caricatures in the mainstream media and the way they manipulate feminism into an ideology that is alienating to almost everyone. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnJxqRLg9x0

    • Jenny

      @ Ruby – that is an awesome video and I think further evidence of what I first said. The majority of the examples that society sees of feminism are bad examples. As a result, people are afraid of that label. Not because of what it really means, but what the stereotype is.

      An even more unfortunate result is that woman who believe these falsities actually exist.

  • MM

    I don’t think it’s fair to criticize these women for not identifying as feminists when your dictionary definition is not really how feminism exists in the popular consciousness.

  • John

    | Being pro-woman and pro-man is… being a feminist, pretty much?

    I laughed out loud. Being a feminist means that you are pro-woman AND pro-man? That could be the most absurd statement ever written.

    • michelle

      If feminism is equality between the sexes, how is someone being both pro-women and men not a feminist?

      That that I think Michele Bachman is pro-women.

    • Steph

      Actually not, since it’s equality of both sexes, but hey, what do you know?

  • clare

    This is some kind of a joke, right? You’re bashing women who say they aren’t feminists yet you have a website where you give advice on how to take good nude pictures of yourself… I thought part of being a feminist was to not be portrayed as a sex object… but, no, that can’t be right, can it?

    You also have an article where you list 6 reasons that men from the 60′s were so sexy. Good call listing being drunk all the time as number one and shoving women against walls as number 4, followed by telling ugly men to back off as number 5. But I mean, I guess it’s super sexy to have a drunk man shove you into a wall, but only as long as he’s attractive. Swoon, hold on, let me go change my panties.

    Yeah, I’m back and I’ve had some time to think about this… if you’re such a feminist you’d likely be pissed if a man said women were hot for shoving them against walls… you know, as long as they were attractive.

    Maybe these women and many others choose to not say they are feminists because feminists would write a ridiculous article like this and the others on your website, or maybe they would claim that a man made them uncomfortable after he rode in an elevator with them… Rebecca Watson, I’m talking about you… I think it’s time for feminists to start worrying about things that actually matter, because this does not.

    • Amy

      Satire & Sarcasm – you’re missing it. Jesus, cop on. Half the articles on here like the ones you mentioned are mocking those in Cosmo et al. Please tell me you don’t honestly believe the writer of the 60s piece *actually* thinks drunkeness is a good quality. If you do, I feel sorry for you.

      So it doesn’t matter than many successful women in the public eye choose to paint feminism in a bad light? That most of them (like Gaga) don’t even seem to understand the very definition of it?

    • clare

      In response to you asking if it doesn’t matter that many successful women paint feminism in a bad light I have this to say. Sandra Day O’Connor actually said this when asked about being a feminist:

      Do you call yourself a feminist?
      I never did. I care very much about women and their progress. I didn’t go march in the streets, but when I was in the Arizona Legislature, one of the things that I did was to examine every single statute in the state of Arizona to pick out the ones that discriminated against women and get them changed.

      So do you call yourself a feminist today?
      I don’t call myself that.

      Is there a label you prefer?
      A fair judge and a hard worker.

      So, go ahead and explain to me how that is “painting feminism in a bad light”. To me, it seems like she was just not claiming to be something that she wasn’t and explaining what she did to help women. Feel free to go read the article yourself, it was in the New York Times.

      Oh, and this article was written by the same woman who wrote the 60′s article, the article about taking good naked pictures of yourself, and how to wear fishnets without looking like a stripper.

      Now, if you’ll excuse me I’m going to have my drunk husband shove me into a wall because that really does turn me on. (Yeah, that was sarcasm, so I do get it.)

  • Antifeminist

    Being a feminist means you automatically classify yourself as “anti male”. NOW (the largest feminist org in america) posts “action alerts” against proposed shared parenting bills.

    http://www.glennsacks.com/enewsletters/enews_11_28_06.htm

    The AAUW (another fem org) tries to use the immaginary “wage gap” as justification for ignoring boys troubles in school (you know considering they represent only 42% of college attendance).

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/peg-tyre/who-says-the-boy-crisis-i_b_104172.html

    Here is another something by a “womens studies class” that I will throw in.

    http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_19hkKJG0tKo/S2MJCzcSWBI/AAAAAAAAA9I/5UfGQhnogAY/s1600-h/Hate+Speech-Women%27s+Resource+Centre+University+of+Ottawa.jpg

    Yea feminists are definitely “pro male”, sure they are…care to name any mens rights issue that they are fighting for.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Men's_rights

  • petra

    Proving just how stupid women really are: http://goo.gl/f4pXo

  • Amy

    I’m a beer-drinking, cookie-baking feminist who finds herself in a bit of a condundrum here, because according to Gaga and the like feminists…can’t like beer? Can’t like men? What? Next they’ll tell me I can’t wear make-up or shave my legs.

    It’s saddening that the word feminist more often than not conjures up some out-dated caricature of an ‘anti-man’ woman. Feminists are not anti-man, or pro-woman or whatever ‘communist propaganda’ you want to compare them/us to, at the most basic level it’s about equality in all aspects of life.

    And reading the comments on this have just filled me with rage.

    • john

      Amy, feminists make feminists look bad. If the entire feminist movement were solely interested in fairness and equality, I would surely stand up for the cause. A lot of people associate feminism with double standards and angry, complaining women, because that’s what we’ve experienced in dealing with feminists. Not all feminists are bad, but some (cough cough, a lot) are. Just because you say otherwise doesn’t make it so. By the way, now that you’re filled with rage, you’re just another angry and scary feminist. By the way, if you’re interested in equality, should we change the laws and courts to be fair to men in divorces, rape cases, custody hearings?

    • Robert

      The word itself is almost useless because the people who call themselves feminists have widely different beliefs.

      It would be more useful for “moderate” feminists to call themselves egalitarians or equalists or humanists. This divorces them from the caricatures brought on by radical feminists and fake feminists who use the movement as a socially acceptable way to vent their hatred.

    • michelle

      @John

      15 out of 16 rapists walk free. You’re suggesting this is unfair how?

      http://rainn.org/statistics

  • Porky D

    An ignorant piece given that Gaga has actually said she is a feminist, not to mention she spouts a lot of feminist rethoric.

  • Katherine

    Feminism used to be about strength. Now it’s about weakness. That’s why the strongest women now shun the word.

  • Amy

    @john, since I can’t seem to reply directly.

    I’m a scary feminist now. hmm? Actually, I believe my responses are rather calm and level-headed, just because something infuriates me doesn’t make me ‘a scary feminist’. (Also, what, you’re afraid of a woman who’s angry at other’s ignorance?)

    Why yes, I do believe the law should fairly deal with men in relation to divorce/custody, and no, it doesn’t, it’s more often than not biased towards the mother even when she’s not the best candidate. At least where I am, that’s the case. Not sure what you mean in relation to rape? Men being raped? Male rapists?

    Anyway, I was talking about feminism at it’s most basic definition and if a woman can’t say that she belives in what boils down to equality because she ‘loves men’ it’s only reinforcing the negative image already associated with the word.

    And @Robert

    That is true, the word has so many connotations to different people because there *is* such a broad range of ideals. But how do you transition the belief set that would come with my own particular brand of feminism to something else? Renaming the beliefs brings its own set of problems. And any belief set has extremes, take a look at Christianity. I can still identify as Christian while separating myself from the extremists and the ultra-devoted. But yes, the semantics of it are interesting/problematic.

    • Jenny

      Does it really matter what you call yourself?

      In the purest sense of feminism – what most of you have been writing about – I am a feminist.

      However, as we have established, the word “feminist” is loaded and means different things to different people. I prefer to be left unlabeled — mostly because I think I can do more good that way. If I label myself “feminist” some will automatically dismiss me and not listen to what I have to say.

      Does that mean they are right? Absolutely not, but what’s more important: fighting over the meaning and legitimacy of a word or working towards open dialogue and equality between the sexes?

    • Pix

      @Jenny

      That is exactly what I was going to write. I totally agree.

      There are just too many negative connotations associated with the word feminist now. Whether it’s right or wrong is, unfortuntely, irrelevant. If you look at it realistically, the word has become an anchor, weighing down the movement, if anything.

      Because the people we really need to reach… They are exactly the people who are going to shut down when the word feminism comes up. And any legitimacy your words had before will have been lost in the eyes (or ears) of your audience.

      I think a lot of women understand that and are choosing to drop that anchor.

    • MR

      I agree. I think what’s currently missing is a vehicle for women to form a political consensus – that is in order to continue to move the ball down the field. At the time the feminist movement hit critical mass – late 60s and early 70s – there was such a concensus and a lot of progress was made. But I think the outcome of that consensus has run its course and it now needs new focus and direction. You seem to be saying it’s difficult to proceed or am I misunderstanding you?

  • Desire

    I am horrified at the fact that Michelle Bachmann’s quote on the issue is actually the one that sounds the least stupid out of them all.

    I expected better from Sandra Day O’Connor, Bjork and Gaga. Especially Gaga.

    • Desire

      Sorry, should’ve been “especially Sandra”.

  • Desire

    Oh, and you guys should’ve added Janelle Monae considering herself to be only “part feminist” (whatever the fuck that means). And not to mention this lovely gem:

    “Never will I go into a situation thinking that the world’s against me because I’m a woman,” she says. “I don’t like over-emotional girls sometimes – like some of my friends when they’re about to start their periods. But I have both those sides of me – the ‘Get it together’ side and the ‘Ah, I just want to be hugged’ part.”

    • MR

      I don’t know if you saw my comment to Amy – but women need to get their shit together if they are going to continue to advance feminism.

      What I read in all the responses is a divided opinion. Sexist men love when women are divided and don’t have their game together. You ‘guys’ are taking turns at throwing rocks at yourselves.

      I myself think the revision of female and male Sex Roles hasn’t advanced enough.

    • Pix

      @MR

      I understand what you’re getting at, but frankly, I think women communicating a variety of opinions is, in fact, a positive outcome of the feminist movement.

      We don’t all have to think the same way. Actually, I think it would be quite pathetic and boring if we did. And sexist men can kiss my ass if they think that the only way for women to have their “shit together” is for us all to agree with each other all the time. Can you say ‘huge step backwards?’

  • MR

    @ Pix

    I understand what your are saying. My meaning was the need for women to disagree in order to come to a consensus agreement from those disagreements. Though I do like your “sexist men can kiss my ass” statement. :)

  • sailhatan666

    im 100% sure gaga never said this. she is a strong feminist woman and has multiple songs about feminism. See http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sNi9nIXxVo

  • Leigh Walsh

    This is kind of outdated, around 2005 or so Bjork pretty much said “fuck it, I’m a feminist” in react to the extreme gendering of children’s toys etc.

  • venemousharpies

    Feminism is sadly now a hypocritical, misandric terrorist orginisation.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1308583412 Thomas Allen

    Feminist are not responsible for women’s rights, they are responsible for turning people like you in to over grown cry babies and babbling fools. Do you not see what a religouse fanatic you are? You are suggesting that only feminist support women’s rights, that femnaism is responsible for women’s rights, and that any one who isn’t a feminist will not support women. lol why dont you praise Jesus and condemn the blasphemers while you are at it! You also have spat upon any woman that might have the dream of becoming a stay at home mother, like my mother who sacrificed everything, because the one thing she wanted the most was to be a stay at home mom, every since she was 16. I enjoy cooking for my girl friend and I find it very insulting that you would suggest no one could every have the dream to be a great cook or well respected by a family who you put your life into. In every way your have been fooled into idiocy by your feminist priestesses.

    I take care of 15 children for a living and I enjoy every minute of it, I grantee a fool like you, wouldn’t stand a chance! You haven’t got the first clue.

  • GoveGrey

    Feminism: We fought so that you could have the right to choose what you want to do and believe in life without being shamed for it!

    Woman: -Makes it known she is not a feminist/against feminism-

    Feminism: Oh my God! You choose to be against us!? Who do you think you are!? You are a shameful, self-hating woman!

    Let’s take a step back here so I can tell you what everyone is thinking here, feminists. Just because you “SAY” you are about equality does not make it that you “ARE”. Ever hear about that whole “action speaks louder than words” thing? You know, that people can say things that their actions completely betray? Yeah, you know the one.
    This is “exactly” what feminists do, they expect to be able to make sexist ideas where women get everything men have without the responsibilities men have to go through to have such things, and then when MEN say – “well, ok, if that is to be the case, we want to be able to do what you are able to do, such as financial abortion set up in a manner where I get to choose if I will be responsible for the child or not under the time period you can base your decision on if you want the child knowing I won’t be around, basically the abortion choice for men, however women still get full choice aswell”, and what happens? You scream they are a misogynist.

    This is why I left feminism, because they are the biggest group of morons I have ever had to be around.
    You want everything men have without having to take the responsibility men have to face, then call that “equality”.
    You expect the following:

    Women:
    - Get the perks of being a woman and a man
    - No responsibilities of what men have to take.

    Men:
    - Only get the perks men have, which both genders have.
    - Take responsibility in things women have to take responsibility for and men have to take responsibility for.

    It’s just so damn annoying, and even now I am getting irritated. This group is nothing more than a privilege seeking female-supremacy group. You sit there and scream how you are being treated harshly because you want the perks men get for the things they “WORK” to achieve (responsibility) without thinking you should have to take the same responsibility to gain what it is those men have done to do gain what it is they have gained, then turn around and say men should not have the right to opt out of parenthood “like women can” even when it takes away “NO” choice from the woman, all it does is take away the chance of “USING” him for your own reasons.

    Ugh, I’m stopping, I can’t go on. Just thinking about the crap feminism goes on about irritates me due to how hypocritical, delusional, and irrational it is.

  • feminism sucks

    This article is just plain stupid

    patriarchy is biological. Deal with it.

  • Simon

    I think feminism is a good thing but women need to not tell other women what they can’t have when it happens. If women want to live a stereotypically female life, be stereotypically suited to their gender, get judged for how they look or be teased by being called a slut, then that is their choice. I believe in feminism for the sake of women’s rights though. Also feminists tend to be part of one gang, in reality nobody is perfect, no-one can honestly say they have never done something like ignoring someone, being rude to somebody, judging another person, bullying another human being, not listening to another person, taking sides without reason, or gossiping about anyone else, and plenty of them must have done more than one of these things. So instead of feminists making misogyny always the only problem in the world and how people treat each other, let’s all focus on making the world a better place together, yeah?

  • Agonizing Truth

    Actually they’re not misunderstanding feminism in the slightest. They’re seeing what you are unable to see as perhaps you’re too close to the problem to see it accurately or maybe you just can’t bear to face an unpleasant truth. But you’re not going to convince anyone worth convincing by simply pointing to the dictionary definition of feminism then folding your arms smugly like you just proved something. The problem is that there is an enormous gulf between the THEORY of what feminism is allegedly about (the dictionary definition) and the PRACTICE of what feminism really is and does in reality.

    It is quite easy to demonstrate what I mean. You see, when your movement claims that it is simply fighting for equality with men, not special privileges above and beyond what men have, no silly, just equality, then your movement needs to explain why it still exists in the western world now that women have had all the same rights as men for quite some time now in addition to some female-specific special privileges on top of that which no man will ever have. Point me towards even ONE law in the U.S. for example which discriminates against women in favor of men. I hear crickets chirping. When you have already achieved all the same rights as men yet you still keep on playing the victim card to try to milk further gender-specific concessions out of society, guess what? You’re making it pretty damned obvious to anyone with more than 2 brain cells to rub together that equality isn’t nearly good enough for you, that you’re a female supremacist movement unconvincingly dressed up as one that’s “fighting for equality”. (For crying out loud, even the movement’s very NAME gives away its purpose. If it was fighting for equality it would be called egalitarianism or humanitarianism or something quite a bit less narrowly gender-specific.)

    If feminism TRULY was about fighting for equality rather than being a one-sided gynocentric superiority movement then ask yourselves why it constantly pooh-poohs any problems or injustices that aren’t 100% exclusively about women. Ask yourself why it makes no effort at all to redress any of the imbalances that favor women over men.

    For example, where is the feminist activity on the issue of women being sentenced to 60% less prison time for the same crimes as a man? Why isn’t feminism demanding that women be held to the same standard of adult responsibility as a man who committed the same crime? Why is your movement content with such an egregious disparity in sentencing? Oh yeah, because it is a disparity that favors women over men, whereas if the situation was reversed with men getting let off with 60% less prison time than a female you bet your ass it would be a feminist priority.

    Where is feminism’s activism about the issue of women getting awarded custody in about 90% of child custody cases? To the extent that the woman would have to just about be a practicing prostitute or a heroin addict in order for the man to be given custody. Funny but this doesn’t seem to make it onto feminists’ radar either, I wonder why…

    Why has feminism remained silent about the huge discrepancy in funding for male homeless shelters versus female homeless shelters? When the overwhelming majority of homeless people are men rather than women, why on earth should men’s shelters get short shrift compared to female shelters? This clearly isn’t a problem for your imaginary “patriarchial” government which routinely ignores men’s issues in favor of women’s issues so why isn’t feminism, the movement you never tire of telling us is not gynocentric but all-inclusive, fighting for equality not female supremacy, doing a damned thing to bring this to society’s attention? You can bet any amount of money if the situation was reversed with the homeless population being mostly female it would be a crisis of Biblical proportions, worthy of the government declaring a “war on homelessness” to solve it. Why is the feminist movement just as disinterested in this matter as the government?

    Why is feminism content with men still having to pay alimony in 2014? Aren’t you the same ladies who constantly tell us how women are just as good as men, just as capable and just as independent? Then why the hell should a man have the responsibility of paying for the upkeep and lifestyle of his former spouse on an indefinite basis? Why did this issue only make it onto feminists’ radar (in Florida) when the infinitesimally small amount of women paying alimony to THEIR former spouses inched up a tiny bit while still remaining a mouse fart compared to men’s alimony payments? Where is feminism’s indignation that these supposedly liberated, independent women are entitled to being supported by a man that isn’t even living with them any longer? Why don’t you see this as an enormous insult and indignation? Oh yeah, because I suppose the convenience of getting a monthly check in the mail assuages your little feelings of shame and dependency, right? So long as it works in women’s favor instead of men’s it’s perfectly OK with the feminist movement.

    Where is feminism’s concern with the issue of men committing suicide at rates astronomically higher than women? You know if the numbers were reversed there would be a colossal shitstorm until we got the numbers of women killing themselves back down to acceptable levels but yet with the numbers being what they are this, unsurprisingly, isn’t an issue feminists will lift a finger to work on.

    And I have yet to hear a single feminist push for women having to register for the draft. Why does a man have to register at age 18 or else he isn’t entitled to any of the benefits of society, can’t vote, can’t collect Social Security when he’s old etc. yet no woman has to register for the draft in order to enjoy any of that? Why are feminists content to let women avoid adult responsibilities that men can never avoid? Oh yeah, because it isn’t a movement about equality at all but rather female supremacy, the same reason why the KKK never pushes for anything aside from matters that affect white people. As despicable as they are at least they’re honest enough to not pretend to be fighting for racial equality.

    Or what about the biggest double standard on the face of the earth? By this I mean the elective abortion/mandatory child support issue. Let’s say a woman gets pregnant accidentally, neither her nor her partner intended for it to happen. If the man wants to be a daddy to that unexpected kid but the woman doesn’t want any parts of it she’s going to go to the abortion clinic and get that unborn human dismembered and sucked out of her uterus without having broken a single law in the process. That man will now be the proud daddy to a bloody little pile of severed arms and legs. But if the situation is reversed and the woman wants to keep the baby but the dad doesn’t want any parts of being a daddy? Tough tittie, he’s on the hook for 18 years of child support payments for a kid he will never see. The law simply doesn’t allow him to act like an irresponsible piece of shit at least not without facing the penalty of jail time for his irresponsibility. The law holds that man to his responsibility, forces him to act like a grown adult and take responsibility for his actions. Whereas the law makes no effort whatsoever to force the woman to act like an adult and take responsibility for HER actions, no, instead it lets her dance away from the consequences of her actions without a care in the world. When the man’s irresponsibility results in the woman not getting a monthly check in the mail and that’s illegal yet the woman’s irresponsibility results in the death of another human being (the unborn human) and yet THAT is LEGAL?? Are you effing kidding me?? This has to be the most horrific double standard the world has ever seen, yet I guarantee you that if anyone was to start pushing for ending mandatory child support payments or tying the continuance of legal abortion to the ending of mandatory child support it would be the feminitwits who would be leading the charge to make sure things remain as one-sided as they are now. When the woman is allowed to act like a magical sparkly princess with no more responsibility than a child even though her irresponsibility and immaturity results in a human being’s death and the man isn’t even allowed to skip out on child support payments for a kid he never sees, clearly this abortion/child support situation can be called nothing less than overt female supremacy. Not equality between the sexes. Not egalitarianism. Overt, in-your-face female supremacy and nothing less. Funny but I haven’t heard of a single feminist anywhere pushing for an end to elective abortion. Feminism seems perfectly content to let this terrible double standard remain in place and any comment made about ending elective abortion is immediately met with a lecture about how it would somehow be “oppressing women” to hold them to the same standard of responsibility a man is held to, how it would be “chaining them to the stove” or ensuring they are “barefoot and pregnant” or whatever other feminist propaganda bullshit they can come up with. Because this is one of the many double standards that feminists embrace, those which favor women over men. Another reason why few people aside from feminists themselves take feminists seriously.

    So you want to “prove” your movement really is about equality and not female supremacy and special gender-specific privileges? Great, come out against elective abortion. Demand that it be abolished, demand that women are held to the same standard of responsibility that a man is held to, demand that women receive no preferential treatment in the court system etc. etc. Basically it comes down to a realization that not everything in life is a right or a privilege, that there are some things in adult life that are called “responsibilities”. If feminism wasn’t all about milking society for more benefits, more gender-specific set-asides, more quotas, more gynocentric advantages and actually grew the hell up enough to see that there are such things as RESPONSIBILITIES as well then maybe more people would take feminism seriously. As it stands right now only about 23% of American women identify as feminists meaning no less than 77% of women wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole the movement that is supposed to be designed around their interests. That is a spectacular failure so amazing words can’t describe it. Perhaps women are getting tired of being constantly told they’re weak, helpless little victims who can’t do anything for themselves without a movement behind them to keep them pointed in the right direction and protected from this cruel world. I suspect your average woman is quite a bit stronger than that and doesn’t appreciate being talked down to. But whatever it is, your movement is dying and I say good riddance. Let it be replaced with something that doesn’t try to drive an unnecessary wedge between working class men and working class women. Let it be replaced with something far more mature, grown up, sensible and realistic. In other words let it be replaced with something that is GENUINELY about equal rights for the sexes.