• Tue, Sep 27 2011

Movies Where Clothing Gives Female Characters A New Personality

We realized this in regards to Pretty Woman because the geniuses over at Cracked noted:

Vivian walks into a Rodeo Drive boutique all pouty-mouthed and gangly–a big-lipped, shamefaced fallen woman who knows she doesn’t belong in the same room as regular folk. Give her some expensive clothes, some flattery and overt groveling from the service caste, and she walks out of there like the honest-to-God Queen of Sheba. Her posture is straightened, her gait is elegant…

But then we remembered that half of the chick flicks out there hinge upon the idea that buying a designer gown can change your entire way of being. That does not actually work that way, just FYI. If you put someone with social anxiety disorder in a good dress, you just get someone with social anxiety disorder in a good dress. You get someone sitting at a party very quietly.

Though that doesn’t stop us from buying overpriced accessories, because… well, because we’ve been lied to by the Hollywood machine, basically. And because who were really are is shallow! But let’s look at movies where the heroine is suddenly relating to the world entirely differently because she slapped a dress onto her otherwise grotesque carcass.

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  • Drew

    I just imagine Judy Greer’s character from “Jawbreaker” turning to Rose McGowan and shouting “That’s the last time you’ll ever see THESE again! SPRING BREAK WOO!” before flashing her tits.

    • Ashley Cardiff

      I barely recognize her as anyone but Kitty.

  • lady

    the basket case from the breakfast club? that makeover scene broke my heart.

    • Ashley Cardiff

      Saddest moment in teen movies ever.

  • porkchop

    I disagree on Laine Boggs. She was pretty confrontational in overalls:
    “You run like a girl.”
    “I am a girl.”
    “Ugh, you know what I mean.”
    “Obviously I don’t…”

    Plus she pushes Zach around and gives him crap at every turn. Then when she’s all cute, suddenly her hidden vulnerability is out, which is why she cries when the popular girl is mean to her. That movie is so good!

  • Abigail

    Totally disagree about Princess Diaries. She was taking lessons on everything the whole time. And you get to see her F things up royally several times, because at the end of the day, she’s just a teenager in a dress.

  • Rachel

    Add more!!

  • Jessica

    You missed Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion.

  • Stuvie

    Sandy from Grease, anyone?

  • Emily

    Hermione, in The Goblet of Fire, Yule Ball. Is my inner nerd showing yet?