Cosmo Would Like To Remind You To Eat A Donut Off Your Man’s Penis

A lady – who wants you to know her man-friend does not have a small package – is slipping a donut around his penis and eating it off, all for Cosmopolitan. How did it go?

I broke the donette in half and holding it around the base of the penis. I alternated licking the dessert and D. Then I took a bite of the doughnut and D.’s whole body went tense. Had the doughnut been bigger, I think he would have felt more comfortable, but he didn’t seem to enjoy seeing my teeth so close to his member.

Okay. 10 points if you can figure out why.

IT’S BECAUSE YOU WERE EATING A DONUT OFF HIS PENIS.

Look, here are TheGloss, we believe that there are places for eating donuts. Off of plates at donut pubs or restaurants. Sometimes out of brown paper bags on the subway. But we rarely opt for nibbling around a man’s most sensitive area when eating them because that never seems necessary when there are so many other eating places available. I suppose we could eat around a man’s penis, but only if it was some sort of weird Saw type challenge, as this doesn’t sound fun for 1) the lady eating the donut or 2) the man who almost had his penis munched on.

Please tell me that at least one of you has done this and can describe the experience in chilling detail.

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    • Maris

      A man once told me that Cosmo was “written by gypsies.” I believe he meant it in a derogatory way, as in Borat, and not in an awesome way, as in My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding. Either way, I believe him.

      • Grace

        That is the most logical explanation I have ever heard.

    • Allison

      Oh my gosh, my husband would be so creeped out if I did this. It’s happening, just so I can see the look on his face.

    • MM

      Cosmo seems to have this weird obsession with food in the bedroom. I already think the cliche whipped cream and chocolate are better suited to my pancakes the next morning, but donuts? Really?

      It’s also a sad testament to the character of Cosmo that the article mentions being concerned about calories.

    • MR

      Once you trust a woman, anything is possible. Now I’m not advocating Cosmo and won’t share with you what I experienced. But again I trusted her and it never creeped me out.

    • Shae

      CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

    • Maggie

      How do you even bring that idea up with your significant other? “Hey baby, wouldn’t it be sexy if I eat a donut off of your dick?”
      No. No it wouldn’t.

    • Nibble

      “but he didn’t seem to enjoy seeing my teeth so close to his member”
      I like this kind of animalistic thrill :-)

      Eat the donut and when you finished tease the member with a nibble that you “could eat something more”.

      You can see some pron on the web where she plays wildly with her teeth on it *snarl* ^.^
      Want to see it? Here is the Base64 encoded link: aHR0cDovL2JlYW0udG8vY29ja2JpdGluZw==