• Mon, Oct 3 2011

Courtney Stodden Heads To The Beach To Prove She’s Never Had Plastic Surgery

I guess Courtney Stodden got sick of all the speculation over whether or not she’s had plastic surgery. So, like any normal 17-year-old girl, she called up TMZ, arrived on the beach, staged a photo-op with her 51-year-old husband and in the process attempted to prove that she doesn’t have fake breasts, a face forged in clay or the brain of a lizard. Or that she isn’t the Sexy Halloween costume version of a person. Any one of those.

…It would appear, of course, that Courtney Stodden is unaware how “proving stuff” works, or at least she’s unclear about the relationship between speculation and evidence. Anyway, here she is on the beach, getting our attention and yours, so at least she knows how publicity works. She’s pretty shrewd with that.

(all photos via TMZ, who have more)

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  • Groovymarlin

    So, so horrifying. I may never recover. I was strangely fascinated by the obviously spray-tanned “six-pack abs” pattern on her stomach. This person is supposedly 17? I feel dirty now. Although I DO know more about Dostoevsky.

    • Christie

      I was thinking the same thing about the fake abs. Either spray tanned or makeup because there are some pictures where it’s not there anymore.

    • Goldie

      In the last photo that tanner is streaking all over the damn place.

  • Megan

    Well, I just started my Monday with a shot of self esteem.

  • rita

    she soo does not have a cute butt. at all.
    Here are my thoughts:

    the picture of them kissing is creepy.
    in photo 15 you can see the outragous amount of padding in her bikini top, so yeah maybe she doesn’t have fake breasts, but in reality we all know she does. a little extra padding never hurt anyones fake knockers.
    and finally, did anyone else notice HER PENIS in the second to last photo?! anyone? it looks like a young boys dick, just sayin

  • Jo

    Stilettos on the beach make a ton of sense.

    • Groovymarlin

      LOL I also noticed (and was appalled by) the platform stilletos. EGAD! Where is her mother?!?

  • Missy

    Yeah, those abs are painted on. And if those tits are real, I will give her my entire 401k.

  • Maggie

    Is nobody else concerned with the fact that this girl is NEVER in school? She’s 17, shouldn’t she be finishing up high school rather than proving whether or not those fake boobies are “real”?

  • Ashlee

    What is up with the gaps between her breasts and her bikini (slide 15). Her boobs also appear to be a completely separate piece of her body. They don’t blend in at all, they look, well, fake. Obviously.

  • Ash

    Maybe if she was doing normal 17 year old things like being in school and not being married to a member of AARP, she wouldn’t be worrying about telling people that her boobs aren’t fake. BTW, I don’t feel like her husband is a pedophile because she has the face and body of an aging porn st- HOLY STROMBOLI, IS THAT A PHALLUS?????

    • rita

      at least someone else noticed the plallus! thought it was just me

    • Smashlie99

      OMFG! Your comment made me laugh!

  • Megs

    I find it hilarious that as she sets out to “prove” she’s all natural that she is sure to have her spray tan abs touched up. That is just too funny to me.. I do not think she understands that the look of “abs” comes from toned abdominal muscles.

    Also.. why wear Victoria’s Secrets’s most padded swim suit top? It doesn’t even fit her correctly. I just feel bad for her because she doesn’t realize as she’s trying to “look like a woman” or whatever, that she just ends up looking like a misguided, exploited child. Maybe because that’s her situation exactly…

  • August S.

    She is a beautiful, perfect flower, and y’all are just haters. Oh, excuse me, “h8trs!!9!”

    -brought to you by The Council for (un)Natural Aesthetics, Ab!illusion!, and Totally Not Courtney Stodden’s Mom

  • porkchop

    Don’t forget what you learned at slut walk–hating on other ladies is naughty and you will all by slowly and sensuously spanked in pink bubble bath (I’ve been following her twitter way too closely)

  • Beverly

    YES. I remember reading in Cosmo or something that you should “line” your abs to define them or wtv and always thought that was the dumbest trick…well..apparently someone was taking them seriously.

  • Jenny

    Today’s Abs brought to you by the letter “U”…..seriously though, the irony is awesome.

  • Eve

    The picture of them kissing looks exactly like a scene from Lolita. (the one with Jeremy Irons)

  • Britt White

    She is wearing the Victoria Secret Push up Bikini Halter Top.
    I know, because I own the same one. It pushes you up two cup sizes.

  • Jo

    Hmm.. I’m not convinced by these plastic surgery claims. I see fake tanner, sprayed-on abs, MAJOR bra-padding, and too much bleach, hairspray, makeup etc. on a misguided young woman. And even if I’m wrong, does she really deserve such cruelty? I just feel sorry that she didn’t have better guidance.

    • Sarah

      On the 4th from the last, if you look closely at the picture you can tell that she’s wearing a VERY padded bra. She may be naturally larger, but she is definitley wearing a padded bra.

  • Frank

    Young girls can have large breasts on a small frame. It’s called macromastia or VBH.

    Many large breasted women in the adult industry had their breast grow to larger sizes as of age 14, 15…

    Some of these girls are: Chloe Vevrier, Paris Milan, Kristina Milan, Miosotis, Yulia Nova, Merilyn Sokova/Sakova…. there are literally dozens and dozens….and mind you, a small fraction do go to the adult industry, so there are many more girls with such proportions.

    Courtney’s breasts may be larger than average, but by no means from Mars!

    • Victoria

      I really don’t want to have to be the one to point this out…or anything concerning her, but here goes:

      It’s not size. It’s where they are set and the shape. There’s too much of a gap, they’re too spherical, and they’re set far to high on her body to be natural.

      And now I’m going to figure out the best way to gauge out my eyes.

  • Penni

    In #9 she literally looks like a human sized Barbie doll complete with awkward stiff pose and disproportionate body.