• Thu, Oct 13 2011

Courtney Stodden’s Mom Slams Jealous Women, Says ‘My Daughter’s Too Sexy For Facebook!’

AVERT YOUR EYES IT IS TOO SEXY YOU MAY BECOME IRRATIONAL

Our beloved Courtney Stodden is in the news again for being a beautiful precious jewel. The 17-year-old child bride to 51-year-old washed up actor Doug Hutchinson is usually pretty busy with regular teen girl stuff like sustaining arousal for days on end or being alluringly alliterative on Twitter, but she’s recently run into some trouble on Facebook. People are flagging Stodden’s sweaty photos as ”inappropriate content.”

As much as we’re enthused about all the awesome tweets that are sure to follow, Stodden’s apparently amazing mom, Krista Keller (alliteration is genetic!!), has released a statement defending her daughter and acknowledging her outlandish sexiness.

“It’s the jealousy from the women towards her. The men love her, the women hate her.  The women report the photo because it’s so easy to do. You just click a button. They think she’s too sexy, they all report her together, and it’s done.

On any Facebook page, people can report it for inappropriate content. There is nothing on her page you wouldn’t find anywhere on Facebook!  She has never done any nudity.  Not a breast, not even a butt cheek. It’s just her in a bathing suit!

A lot of men and young girls love her page, but when the wives see their husbands on her page, they team up to get Courtney kicked off!

All the comments from the guys are really good, but the women just call her a slut and a whore. She’s just too sexy for Facebook!”

Ah, the old Paris Hilton defense. If you don’t like it, you’re just jealous. If you don’t want to live in a world where confused insecure teenagers can heave their gigantic breasts in your face all the time, you’re an insecure harpy. Although it’s pretty awesome that Courtney Stodden’s mom actually thinks there’s a cabal of embittered wives out there, plotting to upend Courtney’s social media presence.

We should have guessed from all of Courtney’s recent press-baiting antics that the Stoddens emerged from the same primordial ooze as the Lohans and the Blondeaus.

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