XOJane Is Written By Monkeys With Typewriters

1)  Letting the man come somewhere besides where it will get me pregnant. Which is always (vaguely) fun. SO, why not? Because I always instruct someone to do it the dangerous way. FYI, this will be the first and last time I discuss my sex life on this website. It’s just not my thing; I just can’t do it. I’m doing it only because this is a birth control issue. 

So – you’ve picked a method that only sort of sometimes works to begin with, and then deliberately asked men to orgasm in the most dangerous way possible. Huh. The problem here is that you are a reckless idiot.

And a fun fact, Cat: loudly declaring “OMG you guys, I totes hate writing about my sex life!” does not negate the fact that you are writing about it. This is like a serial killer loudly declaring “OMG, you guys, I totes hate vivisecting you!” while, you know, vivisecting his victims. It makes no difference whatsoever, save that it proves you lack the courage of your convictions.

2) Birth control pills. NO. They will make me fat; they will make me “spot” (another thing I squeamishly just DON’T LIKE TALKING ABOUT; don’t worry, though, everyone else who works here does); they will give me acne; and quite frankly, they will NOT prevent me from getting pregnant! I know this because IT HAPPENED TO ME™. No, I didn’t take my pills right

Look, there can obviously be side effects with the pill, which we’ve discussed on TheGloss. You should consider discussing them with your doctor, because no one here is a reliable source when it comes to anything medical. As far as I can tell, Cat went to Eugene Lang, so… wait for it! Wait for the part where I call her an idiot again! It’s coming. However, I will say that I take the pill (Loestrin) and, to the best of my knowledge, its never caused me to gain an ounce or suffer adversely in any way. Oh, also, I LOVE talking about my sex life. That is my sex life, a crazy, protected, pills-taken-correctly life. OH MY GOD I AM CROSSING SO MANY CONTROVERSIAL LINES RIGHT NOW. Also, if you assume pills do not work because you did not take them properly then you are a reckless idiot.

3) The Depo-Provera Shot. Uh-huh. Same concept as the pills, if you get my drift. Egads, but it’s true.

Egads, you have no medical credentials and are scaring people off perfectly valid methods of birth control, and you are the Health editor of an online ladymag. You are a reckless idiot.

4) Condoms. Nope! As if. I don’t know. I don’t sleep with that many people and so I just don’t do condoms! ARG I HATE TALKING ABOUT MY SEX LIFE; LET’S END THIS.

If you can’t remember to take the pill, damn, it’s really going to be a bitch remembering to take AZT.  (It seems inappropriate to call someone a reckless idiot right now, but let’s just take a second where we pretend Tony Kushner calls her a reckless idiot).

5) Abortion. This shouldn’t even be on the list though obviously I’ve had them. Abortions are not birth control and I hate them! I’m OBVIOUSLY pro-choice but I think they are terrible and wrong and I hate having them. And I mean terrible for everyone involved. It breaks my heart all around.

Yes. And they can be avoided if you take precautions, which you don’t, because you are a reckless idiot.

6) A diaphragm. Ooh! The wild card! I had one of these in college, and by college I mean the year I was 18 and living in Soho and going to “acting school” and blowing my trust fund on cocaine and champagne at all of the best clubs. Anyway, I lugged around a diaphragm with me in a little case and would OCCASIONALLY use it.

At this point I am convinced that Cat is not a real person, just a creature out of some 13 year old’s elaborate Alison Poole fanfiction. The problem is that this Alison Poole Mary-Sue is a reckless idiot

I feel like it’s important to point out that Cat Marnell is an idiot, because the fact that she is a Health Editor at someplace like XO Jane indicates that the older (hiring) generation thinks that her behavior is indicative of mine (I’m 25) or yours (survey says most Gloss readers are in their 20′s). And I can’t believe it is indicative of yours, because, if I seriously thought you were the kind of person who said things like “I could not use a diaphragm because I was going to “acting school” and blowing my trust fund on cocaine and champagne at all of the best clubs” I would… I mean, probably follow you around, steal your life story, make some snazzy bucks off it, to be honest. That’s not a good example of integrity on my part, but I promise that I’ll remember to take the pill while I stalk you, so at least I won’t be an idiot. Though I will run the risk of alerting you to my presence by my fat, waddle-y footsteps.

Of course, in the article Cat dares you to call her dumb, because it is cute to be dumb! It is funny! It is relatable. Hahaha, it’s poking fun at her own actions! It’s okay because she’s laughing at how silly she is! She genuinely thinks that this article is funny and silly.

Actually, it’s none of these things. It’s like watching someone walk in front of traffic and laugh about how they’re a “crazy kook” afterwards. As a sane person, that is terrifying to watch. Furthermore, it’s like this person has a national platform on “how not to get hit by cars.”

And furthermore, it’s irresponsible by the staff of XO Jane, who are presumably not all recklessly idiotic women-children, and should know better. Now, we realize why they ran this. They ran it for the pageviews. I understand that. God knows we do articles that are controversial sometimes mostly just for the sake of being controversial. I’m not saying that’s good or right, but everyone likes keeping their health benefits (I use mine towards my birth control pills!) so you play the game and when something strikes you as “mildly annoying” you write a post calling it “shockingly offensive.”

But that’s not all the staff of XO Jane is doing in running this article. What they are doing is dangerous in ways I don’t think they even took the time to consider.

Why? Because when legislation gets passed about birth control, people who want to outlaw it look at articles like Cat’s one, on this very popular women’s site that caters to a “demographic 18-49″ (so, the kind of who might need birth control) and think “well, the women who use Plan B are just irresponsible idiots who don’t deserve the privilege.”

I’m not saying Plan B should be a privilege instead of a right – I wish that were not the case – but in this day and age, it is. And every article like this one means that there’s one more argument someone can make to indicate that it’s a privilege women aren’t competent enough to have. Come now. Let’s imagine the debate. Listen to the crusty republican politician – oh, hell, let’s make him a Fox news pundit – saying with a nice element of gravitas “you see, the problem with products like plan B is that women aren’t able to take them as intended so they routinely abuse them, if you look at the article by a prominent health editor you’ll see that women are using it as their primary, and so for the sake of their own health…” Well, you fill in what comes next.

The fact that a group of 40-somethings assume that this behavior is something women in their mid-20s (you, Gloss readership) will relate to and find funny means that they think that you are idiots. I want an apology on behalf of my entire generation.

That’s all.

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    • Magically Suspicious

      This is also a person who bragadociously discussed her past and present drug use and makes jokes about child molestation. I get that she is attempting to be flippant and funny. In her head, everyone reads this sort of thing and shakes their head while giggling…”Oh, that Cat…” But there has to be some level of accountability at some point. I hope in ten years, she’s still alive to be able to write a “How I got paid to be a menace to society” article.

      • Ashley Cardiff

        “The Bylines Were Great But My Pee Still Burns.”

    • August S.

      I thought trolls were supposed to comment on articles, not write them.

      Are we entirely sure Cat is a real person? I’m going to assume this is like the faux-lesbian-non-syrian-blogger from a few months ago, and “Cat” is actually a middle-aged man who fell, hit his head on a Jackie Collins novel, and woke up with 50 fewer IQ points and a plan to become Internet Famous.

    • Melissa

      Oh lord. That whole site is a freaking trainwreck…but yes, Cat is the worst, most irresponsible writer on staff.

    • H

      To your last point – none of the 600+ comments really addressed it, but I think that is the most important point. We are currently debating womens health in this country, our ability to make choices about our own bodies are being decided by 5o year old men. This is the kind of article that they can and will wield as proof that all women are flighty idiots, who should not have the “privilege” of Plan B, or for that matter, any other option. After all, it appears like we’re not using them!

      Obviously xojane.net published this for the controversy and pageviews, but I’m not sure it was worth it.

    • Jamie Peck

      Oh, what in the fucking fuck? I’m glad you wrote about this, because my post probably would’ve just been a steady string of expletives.

      • francesca

        totally how i feel. i think i would have spent the entire time writing in all caps swearing.

    • Eileen

      Wait.

      She does realize that Plan B is basically the same thing as the pill, the shot, the patch, and the hormonal IUD, right? (nice exclusion of the copper IUD as an option, btw) It’s a big shot of hormones that prevents you from getting pregnant. It’s also, like, called “Plan B” by its manufacturers. It’s not supposed to be Plan A!!

      Ugh, ugh, ugh. This woman makes us all look bad.

    • Terra

      I’m so freakin furious that Cat gets paid to write this horrible and dangerous crap.
      But at the same time I want her to still do her best to never procreate because that crazy bat should not be given the responsibility of raising kids.
      Also, I love how she never addresses STDs or STIs, and that she “just doesn’t use condoms”. Maybe this post was brought on by a crazy bought of syphillis that made her mentally insane and just plain stupid.

    • Amber Dawn

      Wow. I am overwhelmed with disgust. (At Cat, clearly, not at this article, which is great.) She obviously knows nothing about anything when it comes to birth control, or women’s health, or being a human being with an ounce of sense. Saying the pill doesn’t work because you didn’t use it right? I am ready to pound my head on a wall. And true, the pill doesn’t work for everyone, I had a friend who got pregnant on it when she was taking it right, BUT she was taking a really low dose one and… instead of being a crazy person, she talked to her doctor about it and changed her prescription, since the pill is not just one thing like it was in the sixties, but there are lots of varieties..

    • Mel

      Ironically any guy who googles her name will now find this article, and unless they want babies or the herp probs won’t sleep with her.
      Not Being Able to Get Any = Best Birth Control Ever

      • Molly

        I lol-ed.

    • MBQ

      You are fantastic and stole all the words out of my brain and channeled all my rage at that walking piece of idiocy perfectly. Thank you.

    • Lauren

      Thank you for posting her points on this article so that I didn’t need to give the article posted on their site another page view. I don’t want to be a part of that.

    • sigh

      I know the going stereotype is that dudes all want to hump without condoms, but eventually she’s going to try to bed someone who won’t do it without one. Has to happen. Right?

      • MM

        This stereotype hasn’t even been true in my experience. Whenever I’ve slept with a new guy, he always reaches for a rubber before I even ask. Maybe I just look like I have syphilis? ):

    • Sara

      I wanted to like XOJane. I didn’t fawn over Sassy in my teens, but it was ok. Same with Jane magazine. But, between Cat and Jane Pratt I simply can’t sift through that site for the good articles anymore.

      Jane Pratt is a late forties lady who has the face of a 55 year old and the insecurities of a 19 year old. She is NOT the role model that I would seek out. I think she seems desperate and miserable. Cat’s writing is embarassing and I don’t consider her a peer. She’s the type of person I avoid at all costs.

      The shining star of that site is Emily McCombs and I wish her the best and hope she does the minimum amount of time at that site she needs to get some connections and then flies far, FAR away. I would read anything by her in any media form.

      • Sara

        Oh and I only point out Jane’s looks because she wrote a post with the thinly veiled purpose of getting a girl fired. The girl had mentioned Jane looking older than she expected when she thought she was out of ear shot. And the thing is Jane DOES look really old for her age!! I though she was WAY older than late 40s!!!

      • x

        xojane.com would be Amazing but it has two major issues – Cat Marnell and Jane Pratt. Cat Can Not Write. She also has some clear mental health and drug dependency issues that are not being dealt with except to write posts about how certain drugs are bad because she doctor shopped and got addicted to them. Her streams of conscious sound like someone in the throes of a manic episode and it is deeply disturbing how much it is Encouraged.
        Jane Pratt on the other hand, not only encourages and doesn’t edit Cat, she then encourages the commenters do discuss Cat – someone who is clearly vulnerable.
        And wtf is “Janes Phone?” Does Jane Pratt really think people give two shits about what celebrity she is texting with right now?

      • sara

        The funniest part about Jane Pratt is all her name drops are SUPER lame!!! Celebrities are so accessible right now anyway with twitter, etc. The curtain has been pulled back–they are just regular people with good marketing, some supremely talented, some not so much. Its not impressive, but it’s some strange 90s leftover she can’t shake!

      • Sam

        On a side note, Jane Pratt freaks me out because she apparently “had an affair” with Drew Barrymore in the early 90s. Drew Barrymore was 15 in 1990, so up until 1993, she wasn’t even legal. Pratt, on the other hand, was 13 years older. Kind of on the weird/creepy side o’ things.

    • Erin

      This reads like a fakeout piece by rightwing anti-choicers just hoping to get ONE piece of evidence out there that women have multiple abortions as birth control. I also can’t (and kind of don’t) believe this was written by a real person telling the truth.

    • Jessica Pauline Ogilvie

      Love this post. Second everything you said.

    • Shahin

      maybe someone should write a rebuttal article entitled “The Gloss is written by humorless harpies who take life too seriously.”

      Cat’s article was funny. And she is aware that her positions come across as ridiculous. And come on, like you don’t think about these things for one second in your mind from time to time. Lighten up. Her trademark snark is great for injecting some laughs into serious situations. Plus, everyone knows a strongly developed wit is a sign of intelligence. You can’t be that sarcastic and an idiot.

      • tlg

        You clearly missed the point that this article is contributing to a larger controversial conversation, and damages the opinion of how responsible women are. And that she was PAID to do this damage.
        Humor is great, but not when it comes at this price.
        Cat’s post just proves what a selfish and irresponsible waste of space some people can be.

      • Jennifer Wright

        One of my greatest regrets is that I could not title TheGloss “Harpy.” We make do the best we can under the circumstances.

        http://thegloss.com/sex-and-dating/fck-marry-kill-william-faulkner-ernest-hemingway-f-scott-fitzgerald-128/

        (Gonna use the best condom to fuck Hemingway, gonna be the funnest!)

      • sara

        Agree with tlg.

        And Shanin-

        I completely disagree with you–if you constantly use sarcasm you are an idiot. It’s the easiest, laziest type of humor. Super sarcastic people always have a lot of insecurities.

      • tlg

        @sara thanks!
        But I should mention I’m one of the most sarcastic people I know, mostly in a self aknowledged self depricating way though. Love sarcasm, just shouldn’t be used irresponisbly or defensively.

      • Shahin

        @ TLG, you might consider that she was possibly paid specifically TO raise a controversial point in this important broader conversation. I don’t think it’s fair to call Cat a ‘waste of space’ because she articulated this. Her actions, whether you like them or not, created this discussion. Maybe it caused some women to stop and think about their own choices, we have no idea.

        @ Jennifer Wright, generally speaking, your articles are great, and I think you and your colleagues provide great color commentary on various topics. I am a regular reader of thegloss as well as xojane, I just think that if generalizations are to be made on one side, then they can be made on the other side. No serious disrespect towards you intended. I just don’t think Cat’s article was intended to be taken this seriously or as a manual for successful living.

        @ sara I don’t think one can logically find a correlation between using sarcasm, being an idiot, and having insecurities. Generally, stupid people can’t think about anything long or hard enough to be insecure. I would counter that slapstick is in fact the laziest form of humor, because one does not have to understand anything to laugh at the three stooges, but sarcasm clearly goes over many a head. also, it’s shahin, non shanin, nbd.

      • sara

        Shahin-

        Wow I can’t believe you don’t understand that there are more than two types of humor. Its not slapstick or sarcasm, with nothing inbetween.

        Well, seeing as “sarcasm” is defind as being “a sharp, bitter, or cutting expression or remark; a bitter jibe or taunt”. People who act that way are not usually terribly secure people. (And sorry tlg–that’s your humor which you defended!)

      • Sam

        You know, like the article that has a title joking about child abuse, right? HAHA KIDS GETTING PUNCHED BY THEIR FATHERS HA! Oh man. Glad her trademark snark cheered me up about that–child abuse ALMOST bummed my ass out.

    • MM

      What the actual fuck? I especially love the “gee, I hate abortions” part, the wet dream of every pro-life misogynist around.

      I actually enjoy some of xoJane (there is some great body-positive stuff from Lesley) but a lot of it is shallow, petty, and flat-out stupid.

      • sara

        Ooooh snap!! I forgot about Leslie. I mean there are a lot of AWESOME writers on there. I just wish they didn’t have to have their great writing plunked between Jane Pratt’s Ego and Cat Marnell’s Rebellion Against Her Daddy.

    • alc

      Thank you, thank you for writing this article. This girl is absolutely ridiculous and shouldnt even be allowed to publish shit like that.

    • andrea dunlop

      Does anyone know for certain that Cat Marnell is a real person? I feel like she’s a prank–especially considering the way commenters are encouraged to hate on her. It’s still a messed up article but I’d sleep a little better knowing she wasn’t actually walking the earth.

    • superjack

      it blows my mind that they haven’t issued a full-on apology: “shit. sorry we’re irresponsible assholes and cat marnell is a psychopath who endangers her sexual partners and any impressionable person who reads her bullshit.”

      instead all of xojane’s editors are on twitter whining about how mean people are being. fuck them. cat’s piece was ignorant, objectionable and really badly written.

    • justsayin’

      Cat’s post initiated further conversation on several fronts, which clearly is needed. All productive conversations, no; many thought-provoking, yes. Not certain your snarky swipes are the answer to the questions you raise — that’s my 40-year old insight for the twenty-somethings.

    • Melanie the Constant Reader

      Can we at least slap a giant FDA warning across this article? Please??
      http://melanietheconstantreader.blogspot.com/

    • Celia

      Way to set the whole women’s health movement back, Cat.

      Also: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW at her whole sex approach. EW EW EW EW EW.

    • Jane

      Cat should have read the Supreme Court decision for Gonzales v. Carhart.

      “In describing the federal law’s justifications, Justice Kennedy said that banning the procedure was in fact good for women, protecting them against terminating their pregnancies by a method they might not fully understand in advance and would come to regret later.”
      http://www.nytimes.com/2007/04/19/washington/19scotus.html?pagewanted=2

      Basically, this language, that women might not be able to fully comprehend what exactly an abortion does is leading to the incredible numbers of laws being passed restricting abortion access based upon a “women’s right to know”.

      Maybe she should have also read this from the Guttmacher Institute http://www.guttmacher.org/media/inthenews/2011/07/13/index.html

      Then maybe she would actually value her reproductive freedom in NYC and come to know how precarious the situation is.

    • Meg

      First of all- thank you for this article.

      Secondly, is it just me, or is the explanation that at least something “created discussion” the worst cop out excuse ever? It seems to me that most of the conversation stemming from Cat’s article focused on either calling her out on her idiocy (or OX Jane’s for letting it run), or was trying to reassert the fact that women are perfectly capable of taking care of their own bodies, and of using all forms of birth control responsibly for that matter. Bitching about a writer’s ditziness or frantically reclaiming ground for women’s rights- sounds progressive.

      You can’t just throw stupid out into the internet and call it stimulating because people got pissed.

      • superjack

        “At least it created discussion” is the MOST INFURIATING COPOUT BULLSHIT EVER.

      • justsayin’

        @superjack — Holy hostile; @ meg — You are probably aware of the worldwide web, yes? Conversations are happening beyond the highly intelletual banter on this site. Women are, in fact, perfectly capable of handling their own bodies. It’s fascinating that you all seem to think Cat’s post will single-handedly cause women to throw caution to the wind and get all freaky with their approach to birth control. You overestimate the power of one post and underestimate the intellect of the women you champion.

      • justsayin’

        Sorry, intellectual. A typo.

      • Fabel

        Yeah, I don’t see Cat’s post having the power to influence women (or even teen girls) unless they are uneducated/have a reckless nature to begin with. And in those cases, “influence” wouldn’t be the right word? More just like they would read it & think “Yes, this is normal”

        However, Jennifer (as well as some of the commenters) bring up a more important point: anyone with power & certain politcal leanings could use Cat as an example for their argument that women aren’t responsible enough to have reproductive rights. In that respect, the fact that the article was allowed to run on XOJane shows the site’s lack of awareness.

        It also doesn’t speak well of them that their response to the controversy is to print a “joke” article about how no one can handle how “real” they are. If their schtick is to have a wesbite of diverse(?) women writing “real” (aka totally unedited and un-reviewed) articles, then fine– but there should be some kind self-awareness besides “I KNO THIS IS DUMB BUT LOL”

    • Sam

      In the comments, at some point, this Cat character said something along the lines of “abortion is like, usually bad…sometimes it can be bad, sometimes not as bad.” Then she proceeds to discuss her third abortion. I’m not one for judging people who’ve had abortions–I myself had a pretty horrible miscarriage that needed surgery–so I would never criticize somebody for having an abortion. What I do criticize, however, is the flippant nature of how she discusses birth control, responsibility, abortion–which, as somebody who took EVERY precaution to prevent pregnancy and still was forced to pay a shit ton of money to have a potentially life-saving operation because of an unplanned pregnancy, I sort of feel upset that somebody who’s had many of them would be so obnoxiously blase about them…but that’s just a personal opinion–and, overall, safe fucking sex.
      Safe.
      Fucking.
      Sex.
      Something we’re taught

      She also has an article here: http://www.xojane.com/beauty/i-loathe-my-scary-dad-i-love-black-eyes-my-3-favorite-liners-all-time
      that seemingly makes fun of domestic violence with it’s title. I mean, I get that there are all sorts of things to have a sense of humor about but, seriously, child abuse? HAHA MY DAD PUNCHES ME OMG LOL I’M SO RISKY. Regardless of it being tasteless it is, at the least, not funny and just…an idiotic joke.

      I want to be convinced she’s either not a real person or that she suddenly will become intelligent and actually THINK about what she’s doing to women’s rights–because now, when people search “Plan B opinion” or something like that, she’ll fucking pop up–and not be such a dolt. But I think we all know that’s not true, and that people like this, unfortunately, exist and have computers to spread their idiocy. She’s not witty, she’s not cute, she’s not quirky, she’s not funny, and she’s, what, 19? 20? The whole “reality” aspect that she knows very little about the world will dawn on her eventually.

      Aside from all that, she writes like a middle school C. Stodden whose only goal in life is to get a letter published in Cosmo and/or get recognized on the street for her “beauty.”

    • Daisy

      I’m deeply shocked that there are people walking around that are this dumb. On the intercourse level, she’s not only endangering her own health but also that of all her sex partners. On the discussion/media exposure level she may or may not have a negative influence as well. But what shocks me the most is the fact that she seems to have no self-respect whatsoever. Besides, I’m deeply appalled by knowing that she’s had to have several abortions, without her learning from the mistakes of her lack of carefulness. (I thought that, it apparently being a very traumatic and painful experience, would be enough to try to avoid it next time) It still baffles me how many girls and women refuse to take the pill because it “will make them fat or give them spots”, and how many of those also refer to condoms as “such a hassle”. It’s called being a grownup, be responsible! There are reasons why sex is for grownups.

    • Ninargh

      Wow. Seriously? She get’s a (somewhat) credible internet platform and she writes THAT?

      Being British and incredibly thankful for legal access to free birth-control (I’m on the Implant, change it once every 3 years. Boom. Amazing), I try to follow the American side of the debate relatively closely – I’m frequently horrified at the knocks taken to women’s rights and the advocation of safe sex, the closing of family planning clinics and positively medieval reactions to unplanned pregnancies, not to mention the pundits and Michelle Bachmanns that litter the debate. But to write this, and actually put it forwards as a viable approach to birth-control and health, replete with giggles about how dumb she it, is bordering on criminally stupid.

      If this leads to even ONE (well meaning but misguided) person turning away from safe, scientifically proven birth-control towards her methods then I think a public lynching is in order.

      Personally, I can only hope people notice the the inconsistencies of her ridiculous solution, like the multiple abortions for gods sake, realise how absolutely brain dead she must be for not noticing how unsuccessful she is in preventing pregnancies and ignore her entirely.

      I’m disgusted and I hope she NEVER breeds.

    • Eileen

      I have to apologize to Cat, because I’ve been going around thinking “who the fuck uses abortion to prevent babies instead of some kind of birth control?” Then I remembered that I have read about such a woman in the past. Of course, she was destitute, living in Soviet Russia, and would have given anything for birth control pills, but I guess she didn’t realize that they would make her fat.

      • Ashley Cardiff

        A++++++++++

    • krista flynt

      Just wanted to thank the Gloss for constantly expressing opinions that are multi-faceted, articulate, intelligent, and funny. Playing dumb isn’t cute anymore, and your constant infusion of high and low cultural references in your articles keep things relevant and fresh.

      So again, thanks, for being a web site that takes itself seriously enough to One) admit it’s own shortcoming (ie posting exagerations for traffic occasionally) something that xojane can’t do.
      Two) to take the time to add something relevant and thought out to the giant internet conversation.
      and Three) To realize your words have power!

      Thanks!

    • Anna

      An intelligent reponse to a very upsetting article, thank you Jennifer.

    • algam

      While I do agree that she is clearly irresponsible in her personal choices and possibly in writing this article, I also can’t help but think, as regular reader of xojane.com and of Cat Marnell’s writing, it look a lot different in a larger context. Within that context, readers KNOW that Cat has long dealt with psychological problems, doesn’t take care of herself, and frequently makes questionable choices. But through all of this she is very real and honest and sort of becomes that frustrating yet lovable friend that you sort of have to accept is on her own path to self destruction, providing beauty tips on her way down. Knowing that, OF COURSE you shouldn’t base your personal choices about sex on anything she says, other than say, being aware that plan B is not being sold in New York right now, and this could be a serious issue for some women. The rest is just a side tangent, which unfortunately drew attention away from what is a very real issue for New York women right now.

    • Andrea

      I love XOJane, but can’t stand to read Cat’s articles because of exactly this type of nonsense. I really wish they let her go. She’s bringing the rest of them down.

      • Andrea

        Also, I don’t think the “monkeys with typewriters” comment is very nice or called for here. Most of the writers on the site seem to have it together and they work hard to make an, overall, excellent site. They seem to just have one really awful employee. Maybe they will wise up after the backlash from that horrible article.

    • emily

      while i’m generally not super keen on calling my writing peers idiots: jennifer, you are right. she is a reckless idiot.

      there’s this little thing that exists, even if you’re a blogger who likes to shock people. it’s called RESPONSIBILITY. and i don’t mean about whether or not you like letting dudes (be it one or be it multiple) do their thing in your unprotected lady bits. that’s America, right there- freedom to do stupid s**t.

      what is irresponsible is, as you mention, 1) spreading false information when in a position of influence 2) speaking as an expert when only using anecdotal evidence and 3) (if she actually considers herself pro-choice, which i’m not convinced she is) giving those bastards in washington an excuse to take my reproductive rights away.

      100% agree with this article. that girl needs a solid talking to.

    • Ali

      Cat’s article wasn’t great at all, you’re right. That said I’m kind of disappointed in The Gloss- “monkeys with typewriters”? Not to mention any sex-related post cannot be complete without a jab at XOJane/Cat. I think that’s quite an immature response, quite middle school-ish actually. That’s not how you respond to a “controversial” piece (hell, you might as well be giving XOJane even more fuel).

    • Patricia

      what the…..? Is this woman seriously advocating that condoms are for people who only have “a bucketload of people?”. I mean… Look my time machine works and it’s 1985. Oh no wait, by then people were starting to realize what could happen when you had unprotected sex.

      Look. I don’t even know how to react to some of the things that were said. I find it appalling that this lady is paid to give women advice on their health. I mean sure, magazine advice should never be taken seriously, especially not when it comes to a) your heakth b) birth control. But come on, this is not only idiotic but it’s also very very – VERY – bad writing.

      Seriously Cat, for the love of all that is holy, get another job. Then talk to a doctor and for fuck’s sake, get an adult psuedonym.

    • AG

      I just want to say thanks for writing a well thought out response to Marnell’s idiocy. The article came out literally days after I had just taken Plan B, and not because I am a raving idiot who doesn’t use protection. My boyfriend and I, who are in a committed relationship, were using a condom because I’m not on the pill, and it broke at the crucial moment when condoms are supposed to not break. As a 21 year old still finishing my last year of college, I’m thankful that precautions like Plan B are out there, and as a personal who practices safe sex, I’m outraged that Cat Marnell is being considered a mouthpiece for our generation. I’d like to shove her old diaphragm down her throat to shut her up.

    • MR

      Are guys responsible for any aspect of preventing an unwanted pregnancy? Maybe I’m out of line here and my comment is just plain dumb. But if I’m with a friend, and we weren’t initially intending to go home together, and then we do, and I don’t have any condoms on me, the first thing I’m going to ask her is if she has any protection. I’m also glad Patricia mentioned AIDS. I lived in Brazil for three months back in the late ’80s. Lots of casual sex – yes everybody used condoms, it was extremely risky, as is still now, not to. Cat is living on Mars.

    • Amanda Gun

      Thank you for this article! Few things upset me as much as people who can’t fuck responsibly, and I’m so glad someone else (or many elses) agrees with me. Using a condom, for example, is so basic, but for some reason so many people think having them makes you a slut (and they don’t mean it in the happy, fun way I mean it). Like this lady here: she “doesn’t sleep with that many people”? OH I GUESS ONLY HORRID SLUTS WHO SLEEP WITH EVERYONE CAN GET STDS AND BABIES, I FORGOT. I’m still angry about that article in Elle (I think) where Will I am (I think) basically said he’d break up with a woman if she had condoms because “that should be something we decide together wah wah women who take responsibility for their own health make me feel emasculated” and this seems like more of the same.

      AND ALSO, what does she mean by “obviously I’ve had them [abortions]“? I’ve never had an abortion (though I definitely would!); it’s not like every woman on the planet has had at least one abortion. Though I suppose if you’re that stupid about birth control you do feel that abortions are an obvious consequence of an active sex life.

      OR YOU COULD JUST USE BIRTH CONTROL YOU DUMB FUCK.

      • Rebecca Petrovic, BS, AOS, LMT

        Amen Amanda!! I encourage all women… especially those who aren’t in a committed relationship, to use two forms of birth control. One form, of course, would be a condom…

        I have often given them as stocking stuffers to my kids… now 19, 22 and 24 years old, two male, one female!! The ridiculous stupidity of the GIRL that wrote that article is appalling to me. And there ARE far too many conservative SOBs that would push their definition of morality on everyone!!

        Someone needs to bitch slap that dumbass… until she starts to think, or quits her writing job!! She is a dangerous weapon for those that would take all our reproductive rights away.

      • http://fitorama.wordpress.com/ Lauren Lever

        Nice, advocating violence and using abusive language against a woman on a woman’s magazine. I don’t care how many acronyms you put after your name, it doesn’t make that kind of tone right!

    • Liz

      Yes but she’s a much better writer than you.

      • Ashley

        I’m sure this statement must be sarcastic; I can’t see how it could be anything but.