Once, when traveling through the Midwest, I picked up a little souvenir. It was a lip balm, and it was called “chicken poop.”
Don’t worry — the balm didn’t taste like fecal matter (not that I know what poultry’s fecal matter tastes like, but I feel like I would know if I licked something like it), and in fact it did a pretty apt job at moisturizing my lips.
Now, from another part of the country that isn’t somewhere I’ve ever lived, comes another lip gloss — and this time, it has the full weight of one Paula Deen behind it. The balm in question is brilliantly flavored like one of my favorite condiments: butter.
Deen uses butter in everything, geniusly separating herself from people who care about the well-being of their arteries, a group that of course includes elitist Democrats as well as the liberal media.
Anyway, I don’t know what this lip balm would taste like, but I bet that butter would be pretty nourshing to the old smacker. I’d try this stuff. How about you?
[via Grub Street]