Planning on visiting Williamsburg, Brooklyn? This hat will help you pass our “do you have a beard?” checkpoint with flying colors.
Just kidding, we diverted those resources to build a new kickball field back in 2008. But you may want to pick up one of these suckers anyway, just to be on the safe side. You see, as winter draws nigh, you might start to notice an unpleasant sensation in your facial region. That sensation is called “the cold,” and it sucks major robotic dick. Generally considered an enemy to fashion, the cold is best combated by puffy coats and bulky outer layers that make it impossible to tell who is homeless, and who’s just practical. (Everyone but my roommate, that is, who refuses to wear anything but bomber jackets no matter how dangerously low her body temperature drops.) These adjustable beard hats promise to warm your face even as they keep your look on trend, give or take a few years.
Or maybe they just look stupid. I don’t know. I still want one.
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