• Mon, Oct 24 2011

Courtney Stodden Got Kicked Out Of A Pumpkin Patch For Being Too Sexy

Slut-o-ween has come early this year for everyone’s favorite 35-year-old performance artist 17-year-old child bride. While visiting a pumpkin patch in the Santa Clara Valley over the weekend, Courtney Stodden and her doting husband Doug Hutchison were unceremoniously ejected after some sad, jealous haters who were there with their sad, jealous kids complained that Courtney and Doug were “behaving inappropriately” all up in their area.

Whatever, losers. You saw two beautiful people in beautiful love, and it was more than your lame, suburban existences could bear. Furthermore, you deprived your children of a valuable lesson in “being sexy” that might have come in handy, considering how tragically un-sexy they currently are. I mean, does your 12-year-old even know how to walk in stripper shoes? How is she ever supposed to win Miss Ocean Shores, fall in love, and ignite the world while being raised in that kind of Puritanical environment?

Here are some more photos of what those poor children were forced to miss out on:

It’s sad, rilly.

(Via HuffPo)

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  • Kathleen N.

    This is a joke right? Not their marriage/love. I know that shit is real. They really went to a pumpkin patch that had children in attendance and acted this way? Then were removed? Jesus.

    P.S. I am not a hater. For reals.

  • Lauren

    “I’m in love too, but in an orderly fashion!”

  • Mallory

    Whatever, losers. You saw two beautiful people in beautiful love, and it was more than your lame, suburban existences could bear. Furthermore, you deprived your children of a valuable lesson in “being sexy” that might have come in handy.

    Cant stop laughing.

  • Betterthanyou

    Beautiful people in beautiful love? Give me a puking break. What I saw was a plasticized slut and her moron breeder husband acting like slutty douchebags in what should be a family activity. I have no problem with sex, sexy or any other version of the word or behavior. As long as you behave that way in your bedroom where its supposed to happen. Otherwise you are just being an ass and an attention eating whorebag, period. This is piggish and shes a a hoe.

    • jill

      The ‘beautiful people in beautiful love” comment was a joke.
      And I think you meant “ho” not “hoe”. Although, one might have come in handy at the pumpkin patch.

    • MR

      I think the thing that’s most bizarre is all their actions are done within the context of a marriage aka she can’t be labeled a slut cause she’s married? You’re a little bit prude on limiting locations of matey bliss though. Are you suggesting if you are on a multiday hike, and meet someone along the way, and hit it off that you shouldn’t move on the impulse?

  • Jenny

    My husband’s first reaction when he saw the photo: “What the hell is that? A jean thong?”

  • jb

    amazing…google “whore in a pumpkin patch” and guess whose picture comes up. wow…she is so “real” !

  • Chloe

    So piling on a 17-year-old and calling her a slut is okay then? Yes, it’s creepy, but these reactions smack of victim-blaming to me.

  • AJ

    There is no way that the air-head in question is 17. If so, she has agen 10 years. She is nothing but a yenta.

    That is all.

  • JT

    She better watch out. If he is scoping out the pumpkin patch like that it probably means he thinks she is already too old for him.

  • Allison

    Hey, her ass is a lot whiter than the rest of her. Guess she forgot to put self-tanner on there.
    Also, holy crap, how does she sleep with him? He looks like a saggy walrus (I mean no offense to the walruses, I just couldn’t think of something that saggy).

  • Julianne

    Whats with the sexy sexy storm trooper boots?