• Thu, Oct 27 2011

My Own Slut-O-Ween Story: Sexy Darth Vader

My sophomore year of college, my friends and I all decided we were too hilarious to just wear the conventional “slutty” ____ (insert dubious career/animal/dead person here). One brainstorming session later- fueled by a LOT of tequila, which frankly makes everything funnier- I came to the conclusion that going as a slutty Darth Vader would a game-changing Halloween costume.

The week before Halloween, we scoured every store in town (there’s 2-welcome to upstate New York) but had yet to find the perfect Darth Vader mask. Faced with the possibility of spending $30 on some full scale, collector’s edition head mask, I began to resign myself to going as something conventional. In the midst of this existential crisis, a friend calls:

“KATIE. I FOUND IT. THE DARTH VADER MASK. IT’S PERFECT. IT WAS THREE DOLLARS AT THE SALVATION ARMY. IT’S POTENTIALLY FULL OF CHLAMYDIA.”

I was prepared to take that risk, and gladly paid the friend three dollars. Game on.

Just like any quintessential college movie, we all show up to the big frat party on the Friday before Halloween. We’re rolling one aviator, biker chick, super hero, gangster, and slutty male robotic Star Wars character deep. After an aggressive pregame, the party itself was a little fuzzy (read: the only way to handle being a slutty Darth Vader surrounded by Playboy bunnies and cats is to aim for a deep deep blackout) but I do believe there was a fair amount of light saber-assisted fist pumping and arm waving on the dance floor.

Finally memory of the night? Pacing the frat parking lot, waiting for the cab, drunk crying on the phone to my long distance boyfriend about how badly I wanted a grilled cheese (that’s not code for anything, I really just actually wanted a grilled cheese). Now imagine being the cab driver who got to pick that mess up. Can you say uncomfortable family dinner table story?

I like to think that my brother, who is now a freshman in college at the same school I attend, is going as Chewbacca for Halloween to carry on the family tradition. I just hope he avoids the leather skirt.

This week, TheGloss is celebrating slut-o-ween and is accepting submissions about your own slut-o-ween costume. The best story will win a prize from TheGloss.

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  • BriannaW

    Hahaha I went as sexy Darth Vader last year too! Only I plunked down $50 for the deluxe child’s costume just so I could use the mask, cape, and light saber. It was worth it; I’ll probably wear it again at some point.