The 8 Best Ways to Get Your Neighbor to Stop Having Loud Sex

The best laid plans of noisy sex often go awry. Which you happen to hear around 2am when you’re trying to go to sleep.

You know your neighbor likes to have sex. A lot of it. Hell, your whole building can hear it. And while you’ve never formally met your neighbor, you feel like you know a lot about them from their scream, groans and bangs against the wall.

The best ways to get your neighbor to shut up in the sack involve a little big of creativity and a whole lot of chutzpah. Think we’re missing some suggestions? Leave your best methods in the comments.

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    • Shanay

      Once, in college, one of the girls in the dorm next to me was having it loud. I got up and knocked on the door saying it was the RA and they needed to quiet down before I told the Dorm Mom. Yes’m that was a funny reaction.

    • Consuelo

      We just called up our neighbor the next day and told him we could hear *everything*. Awkward, but polite silence ensued.

    • roxys

      Make a drinking game out of it! A sip every moan, 3 sips when they be gettin religious. Shots for every F, F me, F me harder, F my brains out and DON’T STOP F’ING ME!

      Hopefully its my turn to keep em up after that

    • Jen

      Disney Music.

      Sophomore year of college I had a suite-mate who insisted on having really obnoxiously loud sex in our suite even though her boyfriend lived in a single across the street.

      One day we were all trapped inside by the snow and were so pissed off by the noise that my other two suite-mates and I started blasting disney tunes and singing along at the top of our lungs.

      Worked like a charm.

    • Rima

      Oh yeah the girl next door in my dorm used to do it really loud with her boyfriend. You could hear every moan, groan, and F*** me. I’m serious they did it every hour! Like the weirdest times too. 3pm, noon, 8:30 am & They would leave the blinds open and lights on which would make it even worse. So we just started jumping on my bed and moaning to make fun of them! Except we were more obnoxious than them. Didn’t give them the hint though lol.

    • Little One

      I’m not sure that confronting would work so well…Sir would just answer the door, naked, holding his whip.

      “I’m sorry, this is by appointment only. No walk ins”