Gallery: Courtney Stodden Spends A Casual Afternoon At The Mall

I can’t even begin to tell you how upset I am that I missed this. This mall is literally two blocks from my apartment. I go there, I’m sorry to admit, like every weekend. So OF COURSE the one day that I don’t go, who shows up? None other than teen bride Courtney Stodden. This particular celebrity sighting would be Gosling-esque for me insofar as I would shit myself, if only because I’ve spilled so much pathetic ink tracking this girl’s comings and goings.

Sigh. You can’t win them all. So in lieu of a first-person account, we’re all going to have to settle for this photo set, which captures Stodden wandering around the outdoor mall in a floor-length evening gown as confused onlookers wonder what went wrong with the world. Whee!

[photos via dlisted]

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    • Karesca

      Ick!!! this is the kind of person that makes me disgusted with the women of today

      • Gracie

        except she’s not a women she’s a girl just a silly tragic girl who needs proper help. With the possibility that she is a performance artist.

      • Olivia

        How the fuck can you generalize the “women of today” based on one vapid 17 year old fame whore? She is in NO WAY an accurate representation of all of us for God’s sake.

    • Shannon

      Photo #6: The great thing about dresses with slits up to the crotch is that you can hold them out like a kind of butt-cape.

    • kjon

      The gold arm band! Even with all silver accessories! What does it mean? The performance art continues.

    • Ash

      Ever notice how her “husband”/handler always has an iron grip on her arm like a parent trying to control their poorly behaved child in public? Well now you do

      • Grace

        I know! That’s the first thing I saw.

      • Daisy

        I did! I wanted to mention it as well: he’s either holding her by the arm, or sticking his tongue down her throat. I say the guy has “territory claiming” issues.

      • Ella

        It’s not nearly as sinister as you suspect. She’s just really really drugged and without someone propping her up, she’d tip right over.

    • Stephanie

      What a sad day it will be when she turns 18 and he moves onto the next 15 year old girl…

    • Chloe

      Doug looks like an old lesbian. There, I said it.

      • Furious George


    • sarah

      that is a lot of dress clutching. I am imagining that she sashayed her dress around with each step, swish swish swish! because in each picture the slit is carefully positioned over the extended leg.

    • ?

      All I can say is her dress doesn’t fit properly. Why doesn’t Doug buy her nice things?

      • Fabel

        Right? And why is it a prom dress? She could have worn any other not-situationally-appropriate dress.

      • Maggie

        Agreed! It’s not even a nice prom dress either… And isn’t she cold? Everyone else in the pictures are wearing weather-appropriate things, even her icky husband. Though I guess warm clothing can’t really showcase her boobs or spray tan, and she’d have to give up that god awful arm band.

    • Robyn

      Bitch needs a stylist (and possibly electro-shock therapy).

    • MM

      You know, everyone just thinks she’s a talentless fool but I have to give her SOME credit. Do you know how hard it is to walk in those stripper heels?

    • MR

      Granted I’m not the average guy, but the fact she’s young enough to be his daughter, and is his wife, is absurd to me. I’m in my late 40s and haven’t dated anyone born later than 1970 – yeah, if Jennifer Connelly or Uma were single, they’d be eligible. It’s a generational thing. He’s a total money gruber and likes young sex.

    • kel

      I’m really beginning to think that the gold arm band is some kind of device that’s secretly keeping her alive.

      • Mar

        Hahhh! Yes!

    • Jaquelyn

      Where are her parents? Its sad to see this girl. Thank god I have boys!

    • Sam

      What? Proms are at the mall now?

    • PappaKap

      I think she looks like a Porn Iguana…. Blech !!

    • mmmmanda

      PLEASE tell me why she insists on wearing that awful thing around her arm in all of her pictures, & why is Doug holding her like a blind man?

    • R.Jachym

      I don’t (thankfully) even know who this pathetic person is. Who ever she is, she doesn’t deserve any publicity, that only encourages her. Lets pay attention to people who actually have a brain and use it to do some good.

    • Monica

      is he trying to make up for her missed proms?