• Thu, Dec 8 2011

Video: Why Men And Women Cannot Be Friends

Men and women can’t be friends because of one guy walking around with a video camera at Utah State, I guess?

In essence: the female subjects all say that women and men can be friends. The male subjects all say probably not. The women all say that they think their male friends would leap at a chance to hook-up with them. Which may be true!

But I think there are a few other factors here – namely, in college, sometimes, as a young woman, you cultivate a group of men just to be in love with you, because you are a little insecure at that point in your life and need the ego boost. After a certain time, you start having male friends just because you’re friends with people of both genders and stop expecting them to be in love with you. I think at this point I’m probably comfortable enough to say that a lot of my male friends have no interest in sleeping with me – either because they have a type that is not me, or because they are already in happy, satisfying relationships.

Besides, even if there are people who, under crazy circumstances, you realize you’d be willing to sleep with, that doesn’t mean that under normal circumstances you can’t have a relationship that exists within the realm of friendship (unless you have no impulse control whatsoever, in which case, you are monster). Having a friendship with someone you find attractive and might sleep with in a parallel universe isn’t weird – it would only be weird if you were only being “friends” with them in the hopes that they might put out. - via TheHairpin

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  • Jamie Peck

    Whoa, that guy looks just like James Deen in the thumbnail. But he is not! Deen’s videos are much more exciting than this one.

  • MR

    I’m surprised more people didn’t respond to this one. Again just one guy’s opinion. I think the answer is yes and no. You see I have 5 women friends who I’ve known for over 20 years now. I met them early in my career. All are successful career women, married with kids. Obviously things are very defined and they are great friends. But I also made the mistake of trying to be friends with 2 divorced women. I wasn’t looking for a relationship. Both seemed to start out fine. Then it got complicated. Second woman wanted sex which I eventually gave into, but only once on her birthday, the condition being that we weren’t a couple before or after. The other was a total train wreck, for I think in her mind she thought I was courting her. And when I said I wasn’t she torpedoed it. Short answer is both the man and the woman need to communicate what they want from the friendship. It can be an evolving definition, but open communication is required at all times.

  • May

    I actually DO have ONE guy that I’m just friends with. He and I knew each other in high school where he confessed to me that he liked me. I rejected him (very gently) and we started hanging out more after he got a girlfriend and let me know that he no longer harbors any of those feelings for me. Now, we’re best friends and I hear way too much information about his sex life. O_O

    My other guy friend is gay.

    My other guy friend became my boyfriend. He and I have been split up for a year and a half and he insisted that he wanted to be “just friends,” but he really can’t handle it. When we were alone this one time, he ended up telling me that he still loves me. Whoops.