Tell Us Your Crash Diet Horror Story, Win A Batch Of Cupcakes

cupcakes diet

Hi! Do you like doing appallingly stupid things like crash diets? We do! We make terrible decisions. That’s why, next week, we’re having a theme week certainly not celebrating, but rather grimly acknowledging crash diets. Because most of the people we know have tried one. To see what it is like, I will try one myself, and chronicle it. I don’t know exactly what will happen, but I imagine you will watch my slow mental deterioration until all these posts are just vague, disconnected gibberish and emoticons. If you have any suggestions on which one will be most effective in accomplishing that, please feel free to share.

In fact, just feel free to share in general. If you’ve got a story about a crash diet you’ve tried – either so you can lose weight to eat whatever you want over the holidays, or for your own, less seasonal but still absurd reasons – we would like you to submit it. Send us (Jennifer[at] or Ashley[at] your story in 600-800 words. At the end of the week, we’ll pick one story from the contest to win a batch of cupcakes. Here is an emoticon. :o)

Share This Post:
    • Tania

      I’ve never done a crash diet, but I want cupcakes. Darn!

      I’d totally go on one if I didn’t like eating so much in preparation for my trip to the Dominican Republic next month, though. Alas, there are cookies everywhere and I have no willpower.

    • Jen

      I tried to do the master cleanse diet last year (nothing but “lemonade” made with lemon juice, maple syrup & cayenne pepper) and I lasted about 24 hours before I lost my shit completely. I mean mentally. Not eating brought out some crazy-ass thought processes that I didn’t even know were in there. Apparently, I need food in order to not be a psycho. My husband was very glad when I decided it was a Stupid Idea and started eating again.

    • t

      does Alli count?
      if so, every person that has experienced “oily anal leakage” automatically wins
      …or a tapeworm diet. double cupcakes for them.
      if you’re looking for something extreme, the baby food diet is pretty bonkers

    • Sara

      40 mg of adderall and one small meal a day. Didnt last long.

    • Kim

      After a particularly indulgent vacation, my boyfriend and I decided we needed to cleanse our bodies of all of the booze, tobacco, caffeine, and melted butter we had consumed over a 2week period. We decided to accomplish this with a 4 day raw food diet, meaning essentially all we could eat was raw fruits, veggies, nuts, and seeds. The events that followed were nightmarish, consisting mainly of me laying on the floor with the worst headache of my life, screaming for 1 sip of coke zero, crying while force feeding myself since my body wanted none of that healthy shit, and finally coming to he realization that guacamole is made of entirely raw foods and a shit-ton of that plus carrots for dipping became my only source of nutrition. I must admit the caffeine withdrawal was the absolute worst part and I’ve maintained a caffeine free diet since then for fear of ever experincing that kind of pain again. The second worst part was that I actually gained weight, probably from the sheer amount of avocado I consumed. The best part? So much pooping- I really did feel cleansed at the end.

    • Maya from Dress My Cupcake

      These cupcake horror stories make us so happy that there are wonderful heavenly cupcakes here on Earth to cheer us up!

      Check out all our Pinterest Cupcake Ideas :