• Tue, Dec 13 2011

Crash Diet Horror Story: I Hallucinated Cats

Here is my stupid crash diet story:

I’ve struggled with weight my whole life, and after many failed dieting attempts, I decided to try a diet pill, or “weight loss supplement” as the evil marketing people call it, because I had seen ads for it and thought it would be a quick-fix solution. I bought a box of HydroxyCut and followed the directions to a tee, and here’s what happened.

At first, it made me go to the bathroom a LOT. I’m talking peeing six times an hour and pooping at least twice an hour. They call this the “flush” part of the pill, because apparently it was ridding my system of toxins. What they did not say was that it can cause “seepage” for the first couple of days, which means that excess oil in my system was coming out the rear and I had no control over it. So basically, for the first two days I was incontinent and had to wear a menstrual pad at all times.

After the first two days, I started to feel a bit better, but was constantly thirsty, because the pill decreases the liquid in your tissues (hence the constant peeing). For the next couple of days, I was fine; taking the HydroxyCut regularly and eating healthy. Then, I started to have weird cravings. I ignored them at first, but all of a sudden one night I was ravenously hungry for a bagel with veggie cream cheese and hot sauce. It might not sound weird, but that isn’t something I’d ever eaten or craved before, and suddenly it was all I wanted.

After a week, the real fun began: I had dizzy spells, constant severe stomach cramps, and headaches, which caused me to miss work and school.The last day I took the HydroxyCut, I had what can only be described as violent vomiting and diarrhea and a high fever. That afternoon, I was napping on the couch, and rolled over to find 4 or 5 cats in my livingroom, which was strange seeing as I had no cats at the time. That’s right, HydroxyCut made me hallucinate cats in my livingroom. After that, I threw the box away and have never even considered diet pills again. It was an awful experience and I would caution anyone considering “weight loss supplements,” because:

1) They rarely work

2) They might be really, really bad for you. Hallucinating cats bad for you.

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  • Meg

    The amount that it surprises me that you hallucinated cats? None. You are maybe 1-2 kittens away from being a crazy cat lady these days, of course your brain drew up a comforting image in your time of need.

    Also, YOU ARE PUBLISHED ON THE GLOSS. Incontinence or not, I’m so proud.

  • Miss C

    Surely it’s a good answer if your landlord won’t allow kitties in the house? Instead of being the fat crazy cat-lady with the smell of wee, you’re the thin lady whose “cats” won’t ever offend anyone!

    • Maggie

      Haha! That’s a fantastic point. But this was about 3 years ago, and I’ve since lost the weight in a healthy way (eating healthy, portion control, and exercise FTW!) and kept it off. I also have two very real cats, so I guess I’m a thinner version of myself and a crazy cat lady!

  • Rob DiGiacinto

    Hi Maggie –

    Thank you for letting us know about your experience with Hydroxycut. We take your comments seriously. Please provide us with your contact information (phone, address or personal email) so that we may contact you to discuss further. If you have any immediate concerns, please contact your physician.

    Thank you,
    Rob DiGiacinto
    Iovate Health Sciences