I guess that fake Prada ad was a self-fulfilling prophecy. Just a few months after releasing a pretty but boring song that set off a giant internet flame war that continues to this day, Lana Del Rey has signed a contract with NEXT Model Management. She’ll be represented by the talent wing of the agency, which also reps the likes of Alice Dellal and Alexa Chung.
This is totally bad and stereotypically catty-blogger of me, but my first reaction on hearing this news was “what are they going to do about her mouth”? Her infamously lopsided trout pout is really, really distracting, no? I don’t much care what the people who make music look like, but models aren’t supposed to look like they’ve had cheap plastic surgery. If they’ve had it at all, it’s supposed to be a convincing illusion. (I am not endorsing the fashion industry’s standards of beauty, just stating them.)(She denies having had surgery, but her old face is all over the internet, so whoops.)
My next reaction was to feel bad for thinking that last thought, and also to feel bad for her for all the shit she’s going to get. This singer’s looks have already been the subject of way too much discussion that makes me want to scream, “she’s not a fucking model, guys! Talk about the songs she has written!” But now I guess she is a model, so her looks are up for even more discussion. Maybe she felt powerless to stop it, so she figured she might as well do some modeling, since everyone was so obsessed with her looks already.
Or maybe she just wanted to make some extra money, and was willing to brave all the shit talking about “slutwave” and “authenticity” to get it. Part of the Lana Del Rey origin story is that she used to live in a trailer park, so on the assumption that that’s actually true (or even if it’s not), it’s understandable that she’d want to cash in on her viral fame while she still can. Which might not be very long! While I don’t understand the ire some critics are directing towards what sounds, to me, like inoffensive background music tailor-made for Gossip Girl, I’m also not sure if her songwriting is strong enough to withstand the nasty, brutish, and short hype cycle of the internet. If you’re reading this, Lana Del Rey, I hope you write some really awesome songs and prove me wrong. Bad lip decisions aside, you are very pretty, but if it’s songwriting you love, then it’s songwriting on which you should focus.