• Wed, Jan 4 2012

Lady Gaga Accused Of “Bizarre Satanic Ritual”

lady gaga satanic ritualWe’re both shocked and not shocked at all by this.

Apparently, Lady Gaga bathes in blood. Or, at least, according to The Daily Mail she left “a London hotel bathroom drenched in blood.” This is disappointing because Elizabeth Bathory would have totally cleaned up after herself! And because we thought the secret to good skin was just lots of orgasms! The Mail reports:

Lady Gaga left large amounts of blood in the suite during a stay this summer. The incident was reported to the concierge, who was told to put it out of her mind…All of the hotel’s staff are convinced she was bathing in it.”

We imagine “put it out of your mind” rightly translated to “tell absolutely everyone, especially the press.” That seems like a pretty reasonable reaction. Though frankly, we would have thought that Satanists would be better at wiping people’s memories.

Though in all likelihood, this is probably something related to her next act. Oddly, Lady Gaga is the only performer we can come up with a logical explanation for a bathtub full of blood for, which sadly means that this would have been a much better story if it had featured, say, Katherine Heigl. Maybe next time!

Share This Post:
  • MM

    Holy shit this woman tries hard.

  • Clio

    Title should be: “Lady Gaga is actually 451 year-old Countess Bathory”