• Thu, Jan 5 2012

This Frightening, Soulless Pastiche Of Body Parts Is The Perfect Woman

A UK website called FeelUnique recently went about conducting a reader poll of the most ideal celebrity facial (and chest?) features. The results came in, along with the usual suspects: Angelina Jolie‘s lips, Keira Knightley‘s cheekbones, Kate Middleton‘s hair.

But the site didn’t stop there! They did the poll one better and actually stitched together this frightening creature:

You are looking at

  • Kate Middleton’s hair
  • Cheryl Cole‘s eyes
  • Keira Knightley’s cheekbones
  • Gwyneth Paltrow‘s skin
  • Megan Fox‘s eyebrows
  • Kate Beckinsale‘s nose
  • Angelina Jolie’s lips
  • Kelly Brook‘s chest

…Which basically amounts to “if Kate Beckinsale was a Kardashian sister.”

Although we think only one of these winning physical attributes is completely fucking insane to include (we’re not catty enough to reveal, though!), we think the resulting creature is super frightening. It’s as if all its features are competing for your attention, like a bunch of tiny Lea Michelles.

What do you say? Is this the perfect woman or is it too much of a good thing?

(NY Mag)

Share This Post:
  • Elizabeth

    It’s the eyebrows, isn’t it?

    • Jacks

      Without a doubt.

  • Karen

    Allow me to be the first to meh.

  • Beauty Lover
  • Susanna

    It has to be the jaw

  • Erin

    If you squint (so that it looks like maybe it’s a picture of an actual person instead of a Photoshop Frankenstein monster), it just looks like any random model. Nothing awe-inspiring.

  • MM

    No Sandra Bullock? Why do I think she looks like Sandra Bullock.

    • Laura

      I see it too! That’s exactly who she looks like to me. Bizarre.

    • Ewa

      I have a creepy feeling she looks like someone I should be able to recognise:/

    • Ellen

      me too! especially the eyebrows for some reason… good to know I’m not the only one,

  • lady

    or the middleton hair

  • jkhkh

    Sexy women like kiera knightley are gorgeous because of their imperfections. Imperfections are sexy unlike this monster

  • kinaz

    the skin, you guys. Why would they need to include specific skin? Creepy

  • Lisa

    Too much!
    Bruna Tenorio was always my favorite supermodel because she has a bump in the bridge of her nose. That tiny flaw just makes her SO much more attractive!

  • Eileen

    What’s funny is I saw the picture and thought, “It’s a photoshopped Megan Fox”…guess eyebrows do more for the face than I would’ve thought.

  • Amy

    The reason those particular women’s features are the most idolized is because they work so well with the other features they possess.

    The newly rendered image does look like a Kardashian, which explains why I can never stop staring at Kim – she looks like an anime cartoon.

    • MR

      Yeah I’ll take it a step further. Diverse features are what make the physique of a woman’s body so interesting to look at. Anime cartoon. I won’t tell you what a guy can buy out of a vending machine in Japan. Yes totally over the top.

  • Meghan Keane

    I actually find the breasts the most unsettling aspect. Are they in the wrong place?

    • RGUltra

      they should be in my hands :-)

  • Krista

    I actually think she is really pretty

  • Jamie Peck

    Dislike the Megan Fox eyebrows (and the generally dead/scary look it has, but that goes without saying). Don’t they know the Jennifer Connelly brow is back in?

    • MR

      I’m not surprised. I think Connelly’s a very beautiful woman. Her mom’s jewish you know? :)

  • Dee

    Why does this uber-fake woman with no Kardashian parts look just like Kim?

  • aimee

    Monica Bellucci, hands down.

  • Robin

    Kelly Brooks’s chest is the perfect chest? Um… no. Definitely not big enough.

  • Cassie

    Janice Dickinson.

  • Magda

    Can I be the third(i think?) to say that I’m getting a “Sandra Bullock’s younger vamped-up sister” kind of vibe? Like she looks like Sandra Bullock, but not…

  • axy
  • Brittany

    The nose makes it look the weirdest to me. It doesn’t go. Maybe Megan fox’s nose instead of eyebrows?

  • Joe

    I won’t kick her out of bed.

  • Nicole Zillmer

    She looks to me like a younger, pre-plastic surgery Melissa Gilbert. So… Laura Ingalls is the perfect woman?

  • kara

    just looks like a young fran drescher, yo