Video: ‘Pound On My Muffin’ Is A Lesson For The Digital Age

Here’s a music video that I’d really like to dismiss as terrible. It’s by Pittsburgh-based rapper Shira K, and it’s for her single, “Pound on my Muffin.” The oh-so-cryptic title, which is basically one step away from “fuck my vagina,” is indicative of the quality of the lyrics, which are undeniably bad.

The gist of the song is that (I’m just going to read between the very, very wide lines here) if you want to have sex with Shira K, you have to pay her, or give her gifts. Then, she might or might not have sex with you, and if she doesn’t, she’ll laugh about it (empowerment!).

But as absurd as this tune and the accompanying video are — the terrible metaphors (really? muffin?), the fact that they used cupcakes instead of muffins, and the dance moves that look straight out of my seventh grade jazz class — I can’t write it off completely without saying this: there is nothing wrong with the fact that she made it. In fact, good for her for giving something a try. It just should never have been made public.

This video is like one long, embarrassing Facebook photo album. Shira K (like her predecessor, Rebecca Black) has fallen victim to a digital world where social media allows us all to post anything at any time, and to live out our youthful experimentation in front of the entire world. This should have been something she made with friends, and maybe, if she was particularly enterprising, shopped to a few labels, and learned the hard way that perhaps music isn’t her destiny.

Instead, she’s getting ripped to shreds online and will learn the very public, very hard way that she might want to consider another career. Ladies, there’s a lesson in this.

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    • Chelsea

      She looks like Lea Michele lol
      I keep thinking Lea is going to come and snatch her cousin up on screen. Hahahaha

    • Nicky

      PLEASE tell me someone else noticed the old guy driving the car at the end? Sheer brilliance -_-

      • Cassie

        lol i noticed that too!! definitely the weirdest part.

      • Kj

        Hahaha I think that was someone’s Dad.

    • vomiting

      You mean Rebecca Black.
      And, oh my goodness. Didn’t Lady Gaga use ‘muffin’ as a metaphor too? ‘Bluffin with my muffin’?

    • Holly

      Is this…real?

      I’m pretty sure she’s really a Chris Kattan skit.

    • Jen

      Oh my. My favorite part is when she rhymes “secret” with “secret.” Also, this gem:

      “Surprise him with my ass
      Got a fatty on my back
      He gave me free weed and hash in the sack”

      The old guy driving the car was the perfect ending.

    • lee
    • gamamink

      Worst piece of trash I ever heard or saw……..this is music?? Please, what a skank and anyone who pays for this crap – is guilty or corrupting our young as this singer. Who is a terrible one by the way.