If you’ve been sitting around for the past several years brooding that Axe body spray was marketed solely to men, brood no more: they’re coming out with an Axe body spray for women, so we can smell like axes too. Equal opportunity douchebag smell for all!
In a charming interview with The New York Times, David Kolbusz, the creative director responsible for those ads, explains what the new ads are going to be like:
“Before, an Axe commercial was always about a guy spraying himself and a girl being attracted, and Axe giving him an edge in the mating game, whereas now women also have something to spray on themselves, and consequently there’s more of an equilibrium between the sexes.”
Hooray, we just solved feminism! Now I understand why they’re calling it “anarchy”: once us girls have a nasty spray-on scent of our own, who knows what kind of topsy-turvy things we’ll get up to? Next thing you know, we’ll be stealing men’s jobs and demanding oral sex. You know, to celebrate our new jobs.
But what about the, err, attractiveness gap that exists in most Axe commercials, whereby supermodels fawn all over the most average of men? Is that a good way to sell things to women?
“Girls in Axe advertising will always be a little better-looking than the guys, but the question is to what degree,” said Mr. Kolbusz, of Bartle Bogle Hegarty, adding that the more conventionally handsome actors in the Anarchy ads will still appeal to typical Axe users.
So we are supposed to fantasize about spraying ourselves with eau de frat girl in the hopes that guys who are slightly less attractive than us will lock eyes with us and maybe give us attention? I’m pretty sure that’s just called “college,” and most of us are happy that it’s over.