• Mon, Jan 9 2012

Behold, The Worst Courtroom Attire We’ve Ever Seen

Pop quiz time! If you were to find yourself accused of drug trafficking, what would you wear to court? Would it be:

1.) Nice, normal-looking clothes that presented you as an upstanding member of society,

2.) The nicest outfit you could pull together on your very limited budget, or

3.) Clothing with cartoons pictures of drugs on it?

A Fort Lauderdale, Florida man chose option #3 at a recent court appearance for drug trafficking charges, by which I mean he selected a jacket with a jaunty all-over print depicting the various steps to making crack cocaine, alongside the slogan “stack paper, say nothing.” Because nothing screams “I’m innocent” like a cracket. When contacted, the man’s attorney did not reveal his name, but noted that “clients have surprised him in the past by showing up to court wearing drug-related attire.”

Wait, is this a thing? What, if any, logic is driving these decisions? Maybe the accused are trying to show a sense of humor, like, “look at me, always getting myself into whoopsy-daisy messes!”, or maybe they think they’re so fucked they might as well be wearing a jacket made out of crack, and it’s their way of ironically commenting on that. In any case, if any of you should ever find yourselves in this uncomfortable position, I hope you’ll at least try sincerely to beat the charges before giving up and putting on your cracket. No, I don’t care if it’s the only clean jacket you have at the moment. Do some fucking laundry.

(Via HuffPo)

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  • MM

    The term ‘cracket’ made me giggle.

  • Meghan O’Neill

    I thought this was going to be a post about Judge Judy. Imagine my relief when it wasn’t!

  • Carole Barnett

    Having practiced law for over 20 years, I didn’t think you could top some of the awful attire I’ve seen defendants choose to wear to court. Even when their first impression on the decision-maker is an unwritten component of assessing credibility. But this one is just about the worst ever! Who is this stupid? :D