How To Tell If You’re Dating A Republican

Unsure of your boyfriend/husband/gentleman-friend’s political party? Does he enjoy good music, but also the politics of Margaret Thatcher? Alternatively, does he hate good music, yet support Occupy Wall Street (and, if so, was he the one playing the bongo drums?) Is it all just very confusing?

Wonder no more! We made you a helpful chart! In helpfully clear, patriotic colors with donkey and elephant drawings. Because TheGloss is nothing if not service oriented. Here it is. It has a lot to do with the wearing of suits, frankly.

are you dating a republican




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    • emma

      ruh roh, i think your missing a few “no” options at the beginning.

    • Avodah

      Jennifer, you’re chart is missing several things. Furthermore, it seems full of boring stereotypes that are, at best, uncreative. My boyfriend is a Republican, but let’s do a little chart.
      he wears suits—>he does NOT work in finance–>he *is* socially progressive (yes, individual opinion can differ from party platforms)–> he loves movies, cooking, reading and has not idea what wood whittling is

      Where does that leave us?

      Let us try another chart. Are you dating a very ignorant writer who has little or no editing skills? Is her name Jennifer Wright?–>Yes–> yes, you are dating a very ignorant writer who has little or no editing skills.

      • Jennifer Wright

        I guess it leaves you with “you should ask your boyfriend what his political party is.”

      • MR

        @Avodah: It’s meant to be all in fun. In my case she has a loop that allows my girlfriend to pull me in with just two edits. First loop: All my pleasures aren’t simple – aka my library; creating it was a pleasure but not a simple one. I wear a lot of suits, but am not in finance, though I’d stack up my investment performance against anyone of them. Loop closed. The other loop works but only with two edits: first one: change ‘yes’ to ‘most of the time’ and second one: K’s right, dump the wood whittling.

    • Avodah

      Ugh, well. I already know. I think the problem is your poorly-written chart-not how well I know my boyfriend.

    • sheherbano

      um, you guys, it’s not missing anything. the point it’s making is that the questions that are not ‘did he say he was a republican’ are not relevant to his political party, and that’s also the point jennifer was making in the beginning of the post.

      • Jennifer Wright

        Gold star.

    • Meghan O’Neill

      I once kissed a Republican. Is it contagious? Should I get tested?

    • K

      I like the point of the flowchart, but dislike the infinite loop I got stuck in with the no-whittling thing. My imaginary boyfriend is anti-whittling and doesn’t want to be pushed into such a hobby.