Men Tell Us: If They Would Ever Date Outside Their Race (Happy MLK Day)

interracial dating martin luther king day

Martin Luther King Day has us reflecting upon how far we’ve come in terms of race in America. Are we judging people on the content of their character and not the color of our skin? What about when it comes to interracial dating? We asked our man panel whether they’d ever dated outside their race and whether they’d like to, and, well, maybe we haven’t come that far after all.

(Though we should note that the majority of our man panel is Caucasian, and it would be interesting to see a study where this was not the case).

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    • K

      Somehow I expected to be a lot more offended by this. I’m biracial (father’s a Nord, mother’s Creole – they are still together 25+ years later), so I suppose that dating my white bf (3 yrs) is considered interracial.
      Hearing one of the opinions on Asian women actually struck with me because I think one of the men pretty much intimated that it was less extreme than dating a black woman. I wonder if my relationship is considered “less extreme” because I turned out very fair skinned and my bone/facial structure is straight from my Dad’s (Scandinavian) side.
      We have a running joke in my family that my Dad’s genes “dominated” my Mom’s. I wonder if there is any underlying fear in men of their genes also being dominated by women of color.

      • beejoo

        @ K ~ yes. I do think there is a fear, subconscious or overt, regarding how any offspring will look as well as just regular day-to-day interactions as the one interviewee said….fear does keep a lot of us stuck. the other side of the coin i always wonder about is what does that say about the current relationships people are in; is it mostly for convenience/safety that people have chosen the people they have vs. actually loving someone and having a truly awesome relationship that betters both people? if there was no fear or stereotypes, who would people REALLY be with….just makes me wonder…..cheers!

      • K

        @beejoo – thanks for the thoughtful reply! My parents certainly do not have it easy but my Dad is a giant Viking man (hehe) so they pretty much only get the odd stink-eye from strangers.

    • Cee

      My girlfriend is white and I am Latina. One of her brothers married a Filipino girl and the other a Brazilian, and her dad is obsessed with Asian women, lol. So it is pretty cool to see the ones having children have some beautiful mixed kids in the family.

      The only uncool things are that my family isn’t too too open about dating outside our race (let alone be gay,b ut that is another matter). For example, my aunt married a Colombian and that was a BIG deal, even if we are from a Spanish speaking country and with similar customs. Also my girlfriend’s brother in law is racist and can say some pretty rude things…thank god we don’t deal with him often.

    • N

      hmmm….now I wonder if my hubs went to one of those seminars at Yale? (He’s Vietnamese, I’m white, very pale white. With blue eyes)
      Honestly though, I think biracial couples are getting more and more acceptance. We hardly ever get a second look, if anything our DROP DEAD GORGEOUS kids are the ones getting all the looks and ‘OMG can I have my daughter call your son when they’re out of diapers???!!”
      Also, in our upscale suburban neighborhood, there’s a lot of family diversity. Our bus stop alone has an African-American & Korean couple with four flawless kiddos, a Filipino & white couple with two heartbreaker sons, us, and a South American & white couple. Not to mention our ‘two dads’ couple whose kids are always the best dressed….We are right outside Minneapolis/St Paul, so I guess we’re used to seeing diversity in skin, culture, languages everywhere around us.
      I think we are slowly moving towards MLK’s dream, not in everything and not at all times, but def in baby steps :)

    • MR

      I dated jewish women when I was 17 and 18, so maybe mine isn’t the best data point, but my girlfriends told me if we had kids they would be jewish, which was fine with me, cause I was an agnostic (and still am) – so yeah clearly there’s room for judaism – hmm, maybe that’s why Alan’s is a different scenario? On a side note and backing the trend of responses so far, this weekend my girlfriend brought up she’d like to adopt (yeah three weeks into our relationship :) ) and was interested in my thoughts on the matter, which I told her I was open to. I just realized last weekend she did a ‘Childhood’s End’ (via Led Zeppelin) subliminal on me. Yeah I know I’m getting a little ahead of myself, but guess whose going to be supervising the kids’ during bath time? Anyways as you know caucasians are adopting lots of Latin American and Asian kids so clearly race isn’t an issue here either. Hats off to you Dr. King.

    • MM

      I’m kinda surprised that interracial dating still generates discussion, I live in Vancouver and it just sort of seems like a part of life here. I’ve dated people of various races and it’s never been problematic. IMO what is far more likely to be an issue is dating outside of your social/economic class.

      • woo

        Amen. I’d feel much weirder dating somebody whose parents weren’t hippie lefties than dating somebody who just looks different from me.

    • Cheryl

      Is it just me, or does the guy in the last picture look like King Creep of Pervland?

    • Chelsea

      I think most people are open to it… but most of the couples I see usually consist of a white woman with a man of another ethnicity. I’m Black and have dated guys from multiple ethnic backgrounds; I see people as people… I always forget that it’s an issue for so many people around here for anyone other than a Black man to date a Black woman. All in all, I try to ignore the bigotry.

    • tibbs

      Thomas Jefferson raped his black slave and never claimed any of those children, why on Earth would you want to compare yourself to him?

    • Magda

      I understand cultural differences being a barrier in relationships, but at the same time, I get mildly offended at the thought of being hit on based on my ethnicity. Which has happened. Being “Latina” does not dictate my personality. I am more influenced by being “American” than Mexican.

      I am not going to be this highly sexual, temperamental, consummate earth mother who will constantly be putting spicy food in front of you. I’m not greatly different from most SoCal girls.

      • MR

        Very good point. I had a lot of sexual relations in Latin America while living there on two occasions. Latin American women are very unique in there dissimilarities. In between I had a very serious relationship with a Mexican-American woman in SoCal; I even lived with her for over a year. Yeah she was definately American – in fact some of her ancestors had been in California before it was part of the US, that is pre 1840s.

    • lee john

      i just fuck whoever is thrown in front of me it dont matter.