Every Time You Have Sex Before Marriage A Teddy Bear Cries

Which you’d be fine with. If teddy bears want to cry in the privacy of their own rooms, that’s okay. But this abstinence video also indicates that the bear will leap up behind your back and start talking to you. Out of nowhere. It’s completely animate, it turns out. And it wants to talk to this guy about how this guy thinks women are cuddly. Which is… a very odd way to think about people you are thimking of sleeping with. But that’s fine, too. The only thint that is not fine is being a grown man secretly taking advice from a teddy bear that only you can see or hear. The message we  get from this video is not “don’t have premarital sex” so much as it is “run, lady, run.”

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    • Colleen

      Is it wrong that I burst out laughing watching this? Wait…this ISN’T supposed to be a comedy skit?
      Then I checked out the “abstinence jeans” post…and tears rolled down my face.
      Man, my abs hurt from all the giggling.

    • Jen

      I, too, burst out laughing. What the hell?

    • Karen

      HAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA. That is all.

    • abdc

      Yes, because being 17 years old and marryng someone that you are so completely awkward and uncomfortable around ALWAYS “feels right”.

    • Really?

      I know I’m not the first to say this, but BwaaaaHahahahahahahahaha… Bwaaaaahahahahahahaha

      I mean, they can’t seriously expect this to be effective.

      BTW… Sex is awesome!

    • Nicole

      I’m pretty sure they got married the next day. That bear was creepy as hell. If you ‘re ready, just use a condom kids!

    • Ren

      What, you mean this isn’t some poorly-done high school class assignment, or something?

      It’s almost like some terrible horror movie where he ignores the bear, goes in for sex, and then the bear becomes a homicidal maniac intent on protecting their virginity (although I might actually watch something like that, come to think of it).

    • Lol

      No one’s made a Pedobear joke yet?