The next day I went to the pharmacy in my neighborhood, confronted with all different kinds of hair growth serums. Having done virtually no research besides “buy some Rogaine, maybe, and see what happens,” I just kind of stood there, slack-jawed, wondering what the teenage employee thought of this situation.
Finally, I opted for Women’s Rogaine and my reasoning was (verbatim) “I’m a woman. Women’s Rogaine is for women. Therefore, I should get Women’s Rogaine.” Airtight, if you ask me.
Tangentially, sometimes I don’t know how I can do simple tasks like, for example, walk and talk simultaneously.
On the walk home, self-doubt began to sink in and I started Googling around. Sure enough, Women’s Rogaine won’t cut it. Minoxidil, the medication that actually makes your hair grow, makes up a measly 2% solution in the Women’s stuff. I guess because ladies need dainty amounts of medication. Makes sense on account of our daintiness.
Apparently if you want this to work, you need a 5% Minoxidil solution and–in order to find that sweet sweet ratio of medication to inert other stuff–you’ll need to butch things up considerably:
I know. It’s not really my place to apologize for all marketing efforts ever, but sometimes I feel compelled. Anyway, Men’s Extra Strength is what you need.
Anyway. A few months ago, I added “Rogaine your face” to my nightly cleansing routine. All you have to do is dip a q-tip in the bottle and spread it out across your eyebrows, focusing if you like on the thinner spots. I’d have taken photos if I thought I was going to blog this but I don’t really go through life thinking to myself, “I should photograph this shit so I can blog it later.” Which, granted, would probably make me a better blogger.