So, we were going to a “conditioning your hair with mayonnaise treatment” this weekend. It involved glopping mayonnaise into your hair and leaving it there for a while. I did that. It made my head smell like mayonnaise. It made my head smell like mayonnaise and my hair look identical to the way it does after I condition it. So! It seemed like that would not be useful for you. But I wanted you to know that I did it, because it was gross.
Then I rinsed it out and decided that maybe pin-curls would be more useful. Partly because we are into sharing useful information. Partly because I saw W.E. this weekend. Goodness, what a historically inaccurate movie. They dismiss the fact that Wallis and Edward were definitely Nazi sympathizers by literally saying “oh, no, that was all conjecture.” Dude:
You can’t see it here, but the front page of The Sun also showed Edward wearing a Nazi armband shortly before the war. Though it is possible that this was not because they were bad, just because these were very, very dumb people from a political standpoint.
But, in spite of how hard I come down on team Bertie and Lilibet (who were riding out the war being bombed in London) (The Kings Speech is a pretty nice movie) in spite of the fact that I think Wallis and Edward are the embodiment of Fitzergald’s careless people…
She had really nice hair in that movie. Like, really awesome hair. Check it out.
Her hair is so nice that it made me think “why is everyone being not nice to that nice lady with her nice hair?”
I WANT HAIR LIKE THAT. And maybe you do, too. So we’re going to try this! According to my book of vintage hairstyles, you’re going to need a few utensils. These:
1) A rat rail comb. It helps section off pieces of hair. Here’s one for $10.95.
2) Bobby pins. It doesn’t actually matter if they’re your hair color or not (but get them in your hair color in case you want to use them again). $1 online.
3) A towel. Jesus Christ, I refuse to believe you don’t have a towel. If you don’t, go buy a towel, okay? Go figure it out, you soppy, dirty monster.
4) Styling cream. I love Moroccanoil styling cream. I think so many people say that that now borders on cliche, but oh well. $16
Step 2: You’re going to want to towel dry your hair after washing it. I like to toss the towel over my head and then fold it in two at the front. I like this because it makes me feel like I’m in some kind of 19th century painting about the Middle East. It’s fun.
Step 3: Once you’ve got your hair not AS wet, you’re going to take the comb and put in a strong side part.I was initially skeptical about why you’d need a rat tail brush, but it turns out that it is excellent at this. You’ll also want to comb in some styling product, like the Moroccanoil.
Step 4: Okay, this is the hardest step. Ready? Alright, stick your finger up on top of your head. Or two fingers if you want looser curls. Take a strand of hair and twist it around those two fingers. Then, holding the circle shape of hair in place, pull your two fingers out. Pin the circle to your head using 2 bobby pins (1 works, but 2 will give it a stronger hold).
Step 5: Wait for your hair to dry. It will probably take an hour or two depending on how thick your hair is. If you’re going to sleep in it, you might want to try trying a scarf around your head so the pins don’t fall out.Here’s what mine looked like when it was all up. It’s a pretty neat look lif you love Princess Leia.
Step : And here is how they looked when I took out the pin. In conclusion: Jesus God in heaven, this is a terrible look on me. I look like a swamp person. But maybe it will be a good look on you if you have a facial structure that supports kind of loose, free flowing wavy hair. If you do – whatever. Go off. Mary the Prince of England. Be a Nazi. See what I care.