In case you haven’t guessed, I have a bachelorette party to attend this weekend. I’m planning on sitting in the back and watching a group of grown women giggle over dildos and edible underwear. It’ll be super fun. Then the bride will open my conservative lace-trimmed romper from Victoria’s Secret and give a little smile, because she knows that it’s one of the few things she’ll actually use. You’re welcome! But everyone else will glare at me because I didn’t join in the great game of buying the most in-your-face crazy sex gift that you could ever buy. Because what bride wouldn’t want to think of her cousin or friend from high school when she’s pulling out kinky sex toys with her new hubby?
Anyways, bachelorette parties have the amazing ability to bring together an intensely stereotypical group of women. Honestly, there’s probably a lady like me at every single gathering. We sit in the back feeling uncomfortable and trying not to make eye contact with any of the male strippers. We stick to our martinis and skip out on the penis cake. We might have a disapproving glare or two for the truly raunchy among our party. In general, we probably look a little uncomfortable surrounded by all that naughty girl sex sex sex. And yup, you’ll probably find us at every party.
We’re not the only predictable bachelorette guest either! In fact, there are some women that seem to turn up at absolutely every Hen Night that ever was. Here are the ladies you can expect to encounter at every bachelorette party you’re invited to.