Why Do Women Love Chris Brown?

chris brown beat me

Yesterday, I wrote this throwaway post about how Chris Brown said “fuck the haters!” in which I pointed out that people don’t hate him because he was a scrappy underdog, they hate him because he beat his ex-girlfriend and that police reports made it very clear that he was trying to kill her. And then I got this e-mail from a woman:

Hi. I just wanted you to know that this is bullying . Chris brown made a mistake which he has apologized and is reaping the consequences for those actions. Let the man live his life before he decides to do something drastic that he thinks will get everyone’s off his back. Your no better than people who bully others because they’re gay or different.  You need to look into the NoH8 (no hate) campaign to learn something.

And then I took a second and thought “I didn’t know that the lobotomobile was making its rounds again.”

I suppose it’s better than the women on Twitter talking about how Chris Brown can beat them, but this is not logic. This is leucotome thinking.

Because, sometimes, people disapprove of people not because they’re “bullies” or “haters,” but because those people have done something very hurtful, and then went jet ski-ing. Chris Brown is a man who, today, thinks that his behavior is a charming joke that can be turned into a pick-up line.  That is not an example of “being remorseful.” Being a good singer does not excuse being a bad person.

For all Chris Brown’s fans seem to want to exclaim “only God can judge!” that’s… not true. We have a legal system, as well as a code of commonly accepted societal ethics. And one part of that code that is really near and dear to my heart is “you don’t beat women until you almost kill them.” You just don’t. And I know it has been three whole years, and, well I guess that just doesn’t strike me as all that long a time.

And it especially doesn’t strike me as a long time when he shows no remorse for his actions. Remember when he was asked questions about his behavior on Good Morning America and responded by throwing a chair out the window? That doesn’t really seem like a contrite response. Turning the fact that you beat a woman severely into a pick-up line doesn’t strike me as a contrite response. Telling the haters to fuck off because you’ve got a Grammy doesn’t strike me a contrite response.

And I can see how Chris Brown still might be an appealing figure to men who, maybe, kind of, sort of, want to punch their girlfriends really hard in the face and then go merrily on with their lives. I get that. It’s terrible that some men really like Chris Brown, but it is comprehensible without assuming that someone must have had an icepick lodged behind their eyeball.

Look, women, writer of this letter: it’s not okay for men to hit you. It’s not okay for men to hit you. It’s not okay for men to hit you. It doesn’t matter what the circumstances were. It doesn’t matter if you were “egging them on”. They are bigger and stronger and it is not okay for men to hit you. It is not okay if they are good singers. It is not okay if the have a grammy. It is not okay if they have green eggs and ham. It is not okay. It is never okay. It never will be okay. [tagbox tag="Chris Brown"]

This is not a reflection on “not letting people with pasts move on.” You have something in your past you’re not proud of? We all do. Everyone. Lady, you likely did not beat your significant other until they had to go to the hospital. And if you did, you aren’t blithely dismissing it and turning it into a fun joke.

This is not something that should be controversial. Chris Brown is not a controversial figure. He is a man who beat a woman until she had to go to the hospital. And it seems like if, as women, we say “that’s okay because he’s good looking and can do high kicks” we are admitting that we don’t care at all about men’s character. Just, not even a little bit. We are saying that we are willing to date people who behave like monsters, because we don’t feel that we, as women, have enough worth not to merit really, really bad treatment. And we are saying that if someone is rich and famous then they are not obligated to treat us with respect or decency.

And we deserve that. Always. Even if the person you are dating is super cool in other ways, they cannot beat the shit out of you.  We need to make it clear that men who hit you are not good people – not in a “oh, I know it’s wrong, but Rihanna is assertive and I’m SURE she started it” way, because that is meaningless. It doesn’t matter if she started it. It’s still not okay. Ever. And if someone does it once, there is a very strong likelihood they will do it again, especially if they are a “dealing with problems by throwing chairs out of windows” kind of a guy.

Because if we don’t remember that all the time, we are telling the next generation of women that it’s okay to stay with men who hit you repeatedly if they have “other qualities.” Well, everyone has other qualities (not everyone can do fun Peter Pan flips, but everyone has other qualities). And it’s absolutey not okay.

It’s just not okay.

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    • Alexis

      thank you thank you THANK YOU….. the fact that he can sing and is a celebrity does not give him the right to beat the crap out of a woman. Yes the woman in question is a strong, outspoken individual, but being strong in character does not mean she has the strength of a man.

    • Ashley Cardiff

      Comparing Chris Brown to bullied gay youth is the most hilarious logical fallacy since comparing insurance reform to Nazi Germany.

      …But it becomes purely gutting when you realize people actually think this way.

    • romanticgirlx

      Thanks a million times for speaking out what I was exactly thinking. As if beating a woman and threatening her was not enough, acting like nothing bad happened afterwards makes it even worse. I never really liked him anyway, but that incident made me lose all respect that I had for him (you know, the respect you usually have for every person). I don’t understand how people (especially women) can still like him.
      - N.

    • angela


      • Annie

        I totally agree. White men can beat all the women they want!

      • Gen

        I’m going to go ahead and call bullsh*t on that racism accusation. I’m pretty sure Mel Gibson doesn’t have a career anymore…. and rightly so.

      • G


        It would have been a mistake if it was only one time, however, as a DV survivor myself, and the daughter of a DV survivor, and as someone who has worked extensively in DV – I can tell you that this man did not make one mistake – he just got caught this time. Rhianna said in her statement that this was not the first time he’s done this and I can promise you it isn’t the last. He hasn’t changed, he hasn’t even apologized. Sorry your hero is an abusive asshole.

      • Dusty

        Nope, “angela,” you’re dumb.

        Also, often times, I think people who accuse others of “playing the race card” are white conservatives who are actually being racist and that’s how they deflect.

        Thanks for legitimizing them, asshole!

      • thatgirl

        I cannot disagree with you more. This has nothing to do with race. Chris Brown made a horrible mistake when he beat her. But he also made a horrible mistake when he decided to act like all should be forgotten because he was young and/or famous. It doesn’t work that way. Everyone will have supports and people that dislike them, but they way he has handle the people that dislike him proves exactly why he doesn’t deserve respect.

      • Ness

        I hate the use of the phrase “he made a mistake.” It makes it sound as though he accidentally beat a woman to the point where she had to go to the hospital. It’s the same thing as saying that people “can’t control themselves” when they assault/rape people. He actively hit a woman. He did something cruel and inhuman. He beat someone he claimed to care about. He hit another person until they had to go to the hospital. He did not “make a mistake” he actively did something, it was not an accident. He deliberately hit his girlfriend. Not A Mistake.

      • Carly

        I think it’s odd that someone is saying that race is a reason that people are more angry about this. If he had hit Taylor Swift or if Justin Timberlake had done this to Britney Spears back when they were dating I think the media would have made a much bigger deal about it, whereas Chris Brown is allowed back at the Grammy’s after three years.

      • Rachelle

        Playing the race card? really? just because hes black doesn’t mean a thing. there are plenty of white men who have beaten their significant others and been publicly scrutinized. He didn’t just make a mistake. Making a mistake would be accidentally tripping her. This was purposeful. He can’t put off his abusing her on the heat of the moment. things you do in the heat of the moment are you instinct. And it shouldn’t have been his instinct to hit her.

      • Maria

        Um. This has nothing to do with race. There are mistakes of youth, like oops I drank one too many beers when I was underage, and then there are criminal incidents where you almost beat your girlfriend to death. I would say the latter isn’t something society really condones as a youthful indiscretion. Domestic violence is a cycle (which, shocker, includes expressing remorse, which they may genuinely feel, until it happens again).

      • Ali

        Not one white man, eh?
        Mel Gibson anyone?
        What about Charlie Sheen?
        Ever heard of Roman Polanski?
        Just to name a few.

    • Tbizel

      Finally someone with some common sense. Its so disgusting how so many teambreezy fans blame rihanna. It’s like the only way they will understand her pain is they would have to get beat up themselves. I just can’t understand these girls logic at all!

    • K9 Queen

      We see the same thing with Michael Vick supporters. They think because he is a talented athlete that he can be excused for his heinous behavior. People, these are human beings who should be held to the same standards as we less famous folks. Acting like an abusive, sociopath bully should not be condoned no matter who commits the CRIME!!! Any by the way, both actions are considered crimes and are unforgivable in my mind.

    • Gypsy

      I can’t believe this lady (the one who emailed you). What a moron. Reading what she wrote was just dreadful. Maybe there’s a connection between her lack of education and her love for this jerk?? Same goes with “angela” here – lady, do you not realize THAT WRITING ALL IN CAPS LIKE THIS IS IRRITATING BEYOND BELIEF????? And how DARE you play the race card?! That’s just such a joke and I’m tired of hearing anyone play it.

      All that aside – I was the victim of domestic violence with an ex-bf of mine. It’s hard – it’s very tough to deal with them hitting you, and the verbal abuse, when they turn around and tell you it’s your fault, and then they try and be sweet as pie. It is NEVER ok. It’s NEVER your fault. People that hit you have anger problems – and it’s not your fault. If you’re driving someone crazy, then they can walk away from you – there’s no need to beat someone. ESPECIALLY not in a relationship where there is supposed to be love and trust.

    • Tbizel

      Angela you and the rest of teambreezy need to accept the fact that some people are not going to forgive chris brown. Its not only because he beat the crab out of rihanna and threated to kill her but mainly because some people: “DON’T BELIEVE HE FEELS REMORSE FOR BEATING RIHANNA!” Don’t get it twisted we could be wrong and deep down maybe chris does feel bad. Actually most of us hope to God he does feel guilty.

      And every since his assualt on Rihanna; Chris has done things that make him look really unremorseful in the public’s eye. Not just the “jetskii” and the “GMA chair thru the window,” insident. Lets not forgetting the sh$tty orange long shirt apology video he made. (BTW chris brown showed so little remorse in that video i think Ted Bundy good of done a better job.) and lets not forget that terrible, terrible, Larry King interview ( I blame Chris brown and his management team for that one. Jesus that blue sweater and blue bow tie who the he thought that was a good idea!!)

      So angela i know you have your opinion and we have ours. You think chris feels guilty and we don’t. And another thing i really hate when people say chris brown made a “mistake.” The word MISTAKE sounds to gentale for what he did to Rihanna. seriously did you not hear all the gruesome details of that police report it sounds like a horry flic! And to top it off CHRIS BROWN said he was completely SOBER when he did this. He said that on Larry King’s interview don’t you realize that makes him sound crazier than he already is!

      Everyone make mistakes, gets angry but after two punches it stops being a mistake and becomes a delibrate act. You act like what he did was a totaly normal, understable mistake. YEAH RIGHT! I know plently of people who accidental slam their girlfriend’s face into the car window, punches them 100 times in the face, theatens to kill them, then proceeds to stangle and bite them. Yeah mistake my ass!

    • Sarah

      Thank you. I could not agree more. I think it’s a combination of a few things. One, we have a culture that idolizes people at the top of the money chain. It seems that once you get to a certain point, you can do no wrong. Yes, people deserve a second chance. But you have to show that you want to make a new start, and Chris Brown has not done that. Second, there are segments of our culture that want to defend him, sadly, because it may make them feel better about something going on in their lives or in the lives of someone around them. Plain and simple, someone beating a woman, then winning Grammys and making millions is not reaping the consequences of his actions. He is spitting in the face of it. It’s an insult to every woman who has endured abuse.

    • MsMooreinDC

      I think the simple way to put it is that people won’t “forgive” (whatever that means) Chris Brown because he is an ASSHOLE and he likes to make sure that we don’t forget it. But unfortunately, many a woman love them some Asshole and will insist on defending disgusting behavior until they are blue in the face (insensitive pun possibly intended).

      • Annemarie

        Go and do research on the Alpha male. You’ll find that the very same qualities that make Chris an ‘asshole’ are the ones that make him successful. You want him to be sensitive and effeminate? Not going to happen. Leave him alone. Go find something to do.

    • thatgirl

      @Ness- You’re completely right. Poor choice of words on my part.

    • anne

      chris knows what he did, stop talking about his past because they both clearly moved on.

      • Katana

        So what if he’s moved on? He’s a public figure. This kind of behavior should RUIN his public career. We, as a society, need to communicate to our men that if they beat the shit out of their girlfriends, it will not be tolerated. That’s the exact opposite message embracing Chris Brown sends.

        If you’re a celebrity, you have to deal with public opinion. You chose making public opinion an important factor to your success. There are perks and down sides to every career choice. This is his: beating up your very famous girlfriend stays with you. He should stop whining about it and accept it like a man. Maybe in 10 years we’ll all get over it. If he stops acting out violently every time something upsets him, of course.

    • Milah

      I’m actually rooting for Chris Brown. What happened between him & Rihanna was terrible. It should have never happened. But i don’t think that incident has to define him – it’s who he was, but it doesn’t have to be who he is – does that make sense? I do think he probably is sorry/regrets the whole thing, but he’s not doing a great job showing that. I’m interested to see how he grows up – but I don’t think it’s gonna happen overnight. He’s young & immature.

      In my late teens/early twenties, I had a boyfriend who punched me for 4 yrs. We broke up & he never punched another girl again. he punched holes in walls. For a while. Now he doesn’t punch anything. But that took time. (we’re not together or anything but we’re cordial now) I don’t know that he would be at this point if there were people at his job, at his school, everywhere he turned telling him he was an abuser/violent douchebag/deserved to die. I also don’t know where I would be if i didn’t see that change in him. it was just as healing for me as it has been for him, if that makes any sense at all.

      Does that mean we collectively have to forgive him? No. Not at all. The blind loyalty & love from Team Breezy & the not at all fuzzy feelings from his detracters will hopefully make him realize that while a lot of people have forgiven him, he still has something to prove to the rest. But maybe some of us could ease up on the death threats.

    • tessa

      The person who wrote you that letter has an incredibly tenuous grasp on the English language, comparable perhaps to the understanding that Chris Brown seems to have of the law and respect.

      Please, continue to address this kind of behavior and the apparent misconceptions about it. Seriously. As much as is necessary. Domestic violence statistics. Rihanna has clearly moved on from this and we have no right to invade in their privacy, taking it upon ourselves to pass judgment on that aspect of the situation – but regarding domestic violence? That’s wrong. Always, unequivocally. That people could possibly misunderstand that is almost as horrifying.

    • Zach

      Angela you are an utter moron. Stop typing in all caps it makes you look even dumber (if that’s possible). Chris Brown is a horrible person, he viciously beat a woman almost to death (smashed her face against car window, puncher her numerous times in the head, choked her, bit her) and you want to act like nothing happen and diminish what he did by calling it a youthful mistake! You’re a fool if you actually believe this nonsense. I’m a man and it’s sad that I’m having to educate you, a woman, on why a man viciously beating a woman is so wrong. A youthful mistake is getting drunk (Christ admitted he was sober during the assault) or getting a scratch on your parents’ car, not heinously beating a woman almost to death. Finally you play the race card which is the last refuge of the unintelligent. This case has nothing to do with race. You are actually very racist yourself and need to seek help.

    • Noeffin Way

      Are you kidding me? Im sooooo sick of people like you, yes Chris Brown hit his girlfriend, but you always seem to forget that Rihanna initiated the attack by BURNING HIM WITH A LIGHTER! Again he’s not right but she isnt right either, so where’s the anti-Rihanna article? And I wish I could look at your past and see the mistakes you made at 19 (that you didnt get caught for) and judge you on them. Say you stole a shirt from the mall and then every one labeled you as a Klepto for the rest of your life. And lastly, do you know the past of every guy you dated? I think not, so if he beat his girlfriend at 19 how would you know to judge him at 30, then you my dear just feel in love with a “woman beater”. If you don’t like him move on, but why waste your life talking about someone you despise?

      • You’re kind of dumb

        I think you missed the part of the article where she said “it’s not okay” about 20 times. Stealing a shirt and physically abusing a woman are two totally different things. Chris Brown should have gone to jail, because obviously he violated the law, and that is what happens. Yes, Rihanna burned him with a lighter, but does that really warrant the response of “Now I’m really going to kill you bitch” (I suggest you look at the police report it’s sickening) and then proceed to wail on said person. If my SO burned with a lighter, my first reaction would be a prompt discussion of why the hell did they just do that. But I digress. In short: You’re an idiot.

      • end domestic violence

        no where in the police report did it say she burned him with a lighter. and even if she had…that doesn’t excuse him to almost beat her to death.

    • Patricia

      I only saw these “Chris brown can beat me all he wants” tweets yesterday and I was horribly shocked. First I wondered whether it was just another tasteless internet joke and then whether it was a proof of how much there still is to do when it comes to violence against women. Maybe both.

      It’s disturbing, scary and sad to realize how many people, especially women, still believe it’s ok to get your head smashed against a dashboard, or say, get beaten up so bad your face is barely recognizable. That this is something that can be forgotten and forgiven after a little while and turned into a joke.

      It is not a fucking joke. It is not okay to turn said joke into a pick-up line. Ladies, please listen to Jennifer Wright. It’s not okay.

    • Jack

      I think Chris Brown is a horrible human being. He does not deserve any kind of consideration, at 19 you’re an adult so age doesn’t excuse him for his behavior. Sex offenders are listed for life, and excuse me, I don’t see any difference between a sex offender or a douche bag beating up his girlfriend. I was shocked to see all the “Chris Brown can beat me anytime” tweets; clearly the girls who wrote that kind of tweets have no self-respect.
      It’s not a matter of color, it’s not a matter of bullying, it’s just a matter of INCORRECT behavior.

    • andie

      It’s ridiculous that people are actually using his young age as an excuse. I get that people do dumb things in their youth. I’m 18 and I’m not saying by any means that I’ve been perfect, or will be. But I can say with certainty that I’m not going to physically assault anyone “because I’m young.” He was 19 apparently. He obviously had the brain capacity to realize that hitting someone isn’t the best idea. He knew what was right and what was wrong. He committed a crime. That should be the end of it. He needs proper punishment, counseling and help. I definitely believe he should be given a second chance, yes, but only after he’s earned it. Just because Hollywood has decided to ignore his obvious shortcomings, but the real world isn’t and those standards need to be held up. Especially by Hollywood since it’s influence today is larger than it ever has been. He has potential to at least try to turn a sick mistake into a teaching experience and a warning for other young people, and I wish he’d take it. That would actually the “ultimate fuck off” or whatever he said.

      I feel that this comment is too long and muddled.

    • Laura

      THANK YOU! There’s a bunch of girls(and a couple guys) at my school who swoon over him and say the same thing, ‘He can beat me any time!”. It’s truly horrifying and appalling. I can’t watch a movie or tv show or listen to a song with him in it without feeling disgusted. And we wonder why women stay in abusive relationships, oh well but he’s REALLY good looking, so what if he smashes my face in and terrorizes me and eventually kills me. All worth it, right? Society needs to stop praising these kind of people just because they are famous.

    • joncrose

      I think Chris Brown is a horrible human being. He does not deserve any kind of consideration, at 19 you’re an adult so age doesn’t excuse him for his behavior. Sex offenders are listed for life, and excuse me, I don’t see any difference between a sex offender or a douche bag beating up his girlfriend.
      Muscular Curves

    • T W

      I agree with Angela. This has race written all over it. It was blown out of proportion because of race. When white men beat their women, it’s hidden because of white privilege. It hurts white people to see a black man make a mistake and get a second chance because to them, he shouldn’t had a chance in the first place, and especially after making a horrible mistake like this. How dare they let him back in the same circles and rise to the top again, when he shouldn’t been there in the first place. He is an animal and should be treated as such. Put him back in the zoo. That’s what they think about him now, and what they thought about him before the incident occurred. It’s overt racism. Instead of complaining about this man, pray for him because your complaints are not doing any good. Effect change in other, positive ways such as lobbying for women’s rights, more stringent domestic violence laws, etc. When negativity begets negativity it doesn’t help anyone. It perpetuates the problem. Actions speak louder than words so turn that negative energy toward Brown, into positive energy to help the next young lady who may experience something similar in her life.

      • erin

        Did you even READ the article? IT IS NOT ABOUT RACE. It is about the fact that he beat his girlfriend to the point of NEAR DEATH, and is still celebrated.

        jesus christ, this is not a race issue.

      • Apparently, a hater

        Domestic violence is equally unacceptable in the ghetto, the trailer park, or the ‘burbs. Unfortunately, it is also equally likely to go unreported. Chris Brown isn’t receiving a disproportionate amount of (fully deserved) criticism because he’s black. He’s getting it because he’s the most famous man in America to beat his girlfriend half to death and demonstrate no remorse.

    • Alison Lee

      This is an extremely important and well-written article. I’m genuinely shocked at how many people have expressed disagreement — publicly, no less — with the fundamental idea that beating a women is never okay. It seems like the negative commenters (commentators?) read the title, skipped your article, and ran straight for the comment button (the race comments are especially ill-informed). I’m just bewildered that anyone could read the police report and this great piece and say anything other than “amen.” Thank you for writing it and giving sanity and self-respect a little hope in the blogosphere/twitterverse/interwebs.

    • Apparently, a hater

      Hey, go easy. Chris Brown makes some amazing points. If I’m ever on trial for a murder I committed, I’m just going to call the jury “haters” and talk about how “I won’t let them get me down.” When the prosecution points out irrefutable evidence that I killed all those kids, I’ll just flip out and start yelling about how “THAT SHIT WAS THREE YEARS AGO!!!” Then, other children will take to twitter and talk about how “He can kill me if he wants!”

      Chris Brown: a fucking inspiration for the next generation.

    • Lisa

      Having just gotten out of an abusive relationship, all of the attention both negative and the positive like your article that has been plastered everywhere on the internet regarding Rihanna & Chris Brown has really helped me come to terms within myself over what happened between my ex-boyfriend and I.
      I just wanted to tell you that your message that it is not okay- ever – is the best thing I’ve read over these last few weeks. I wanted to thank you, this site has always been so straightforward and honest and there’s been several articles that have touched me recently. But the point to get across, to drill into the minds of every MAN & WOMAN is that ABUSE is NEVER okay. It doesn’t matter who starts it, it doesn’t matter if a male is abusive, if a female is abusive, if the abuse is mental or physical- it isn’t acceptable.

    • Muffy

      Because he is talented. One fight does make one an abuser. The only reason why people are calling it abuse is because they do not share the same thing between their their freaking legs! If it were Rihanna and another girl, none of you would claim that. Lie all you want. I know it’s true. Everyone and their mama says stuff on twitter, it’s okay. Chris says stuff on twitter, it means he has not changed! How dare he react the same way half of the population would if they were in the same situation? I swear if he spits gum out of a car, people are going to claim it proves he doesn’t care. You people know more about Chris and Rihanna than Brown and Rihanna know about Chris Brown and Rihanna. Rihanna has moved on, but people who are not Rihanna feel it’s their duty to be mad. They care about it more than Rihanna. Flawed logic, but it makes sense in their heads. What the judge says also doesn’t matter. If Chris didn’t call your home to apologize, the judge’s facts are moot. A 22 year old and 24 year old are not the poster children for domestic violence. Brown or Rihanna does not owe you anything. They are not your family members. Can you people please stop claiming he almost beat her to death?! Based on what we know about the case, that’s not even possible! People cannot listen to Chris, but they can listen to everyone else under the sun? He was the first man known to man to hit a woman? Everyone else can live their life, but a 22 year old cannot? How does that work? None of your were in that car, so until you know all the facts, find something else to hate on.

    • Annemarie

      What you say is true, but also one sided. You only look at what happened three years ago and that’s where your opinion of Chris ends. One. He has anger management issues. two. He’s immature. three. his emotions are very much on the surface. four. that very same stubborn personality that enabled him to keep going after being ostracised by everybody is the same one that refuses to let people like you see that he is in pain. If you pay attention, not just to the sensational stuff like him throwing a chair at a window – (and I’d just like to add here that five. he’s a passionate man) and him feeling vindicated for all the hard work that he did, IN SPITE of the badmouthing and trash talking that you and the ‘domestic violence’ brigade are spouting; by tweeting that you may continue to hate; then you will see that its been a struggle, its been a difficult road, and he has prevailed. is he not humble and beaten enough for you? tough. he’s not going to cry so you can feel better. Rihanna’s been paying attention. She’s seen the struggle, she’s seen the pain; and that’s why she forgave him. If you want to keep living in the past that’s your prerogative, but the writer of that letter had a point – this is bullying. But the person you are pushing, pushes back. don’t expect them to curl up in a corner and cry. its not in their nature.

    • samantha

      how do you all know that maybe rihanna didnt deserved a beat down. Im a mouthy female and ive been deserving of a few beatdowns in my life and im sure that i would have gotten one if it wasnt for the gat i always carry with me.

    • Let’s do something

      The social attitude that says, it’s ok to hit a woman as long as you find a reason not to like her has never gone away. We wanted it to but it hasn’t. It’s not new. We need to keep fighting it. Chris Brown is not the problem, he’s just an arsehole. Rihanna’s not the problem, she’s just getting paid. The people who say it’s ok are the problem.