I love getting drunk, being drunk, and staying drunk. Yes, because it makes the pain go away. But also because I’ve discovered that I am really, really good at shit when I’m wasted. Not silly, unfortunate things, like drunk-driving a golf cart — never drunk drive anything, let alone a golf cart — but real life important shit, like drunk-cooking and drunk-walking my dog.
You may call it a drinking problem. I call it a drinking solution.
These are the 13 things I actually do better when I’m drunk. You should try them some time. After all, intoxication is the sincerest form of flattery.