Because, you know, at some point they will be. Happens to everyone in the world (who is named Christina Hendricks or Olivia Munn). Fortunately, I’ve come up with a strategy for you to get you through this difficult time.
1) Don’t deny it. That seems to be everyone’s first instinct. No one believes that. Not for a second. Instead of denying it, just shoot the interviewer a long, soul penetrating look.
2) And then gleefully embrace it. Say “darn tootin’ it’s me.” Just that way. Darn tootin’. Don’t try to play up the accent so much. You’re a sex bomb now.
3) Proceed to release naked pictures that are obviously not of you. I would recommend sloppily photoshopping your head on to this:
Or, alternatively, this:
4) At first people might think you are making a joke. If they suggest that this is not, in fact, you, become absolutely irate. Yell like a banshee. If you went with option two, ask people if they even know how hard it is to take naked photos of yourself when you have no arms, a fact you have been hiding FOR YEARS.
5) Wave your arms around.
6) Note that under your clothing you are naked right now.
7) And made out of marble.
8) Yeah, you’re done. People now think you’re utterly insane, but they also think you’re some kind of never-nude, so mission accomplished.
9) Deny that any of this every happened.